The lieutenant let out his own booming laugh. “Officer Raifson, it would appear you’ve offended Officer Malachi. I think you should consider apologizing.” He shook his head in mirth.
“Apologize?” Jaxon sputtered incredulously, eyes wide. “To a dog?”
Malachi snarled ominously and lifted his lips, showing his impressive fangs.
Jaxon reeled back, almost stumbling over his feet. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s start over, buddy. Huh? What do you say, Malachi, right? Can we be friends? I’m sorry I made fun of you.”
That’s right, you lame, whiny bitch. I own you,Malachi woofed and bared his teeth. Sitting, he lifted his paw.
The officer leaned down warily and took the offered paw, giving a gentle, tentative shake. He meekly replied, “Good boy.”
Malachi leaned towards him.When I figure out how to get back into my other forms, I’m going to eat your soul.
Jaxon blinked, as if confused. Straightening, he stared at Malachi with a slow horror dawning across his face, contorting his expression into a comical battle between his true feelings and the need to keep up a brave appearance for his peers. He cleared his throat. “I’ve got some reports to finish, I’ll uh…” he stared at the dog in front of him. “I’ll catch you later, Chuck.” He hurried out of the office, laughter trailing after his obvious retreat.
Chuck watched Malachi with quiet consideration while Jeffers finished up the forms. She stared at him, sizing him up, then a soft smile crept over her lips. “Good job, Mal,” she whispered.
He winked at her and lay his head on her lap while the lieutenant gave instructions on the training program.
Who's a Good Boy?
It had been four months since Malachi came to live with Chuck and Reena, the psycho Chuglet. He spent a lot of his days with Chuck, training with her and two other traditional K-9s. In the evenings, he romped with Reena, regaling her with stories of the legions of Hell. In the car, Chuck would often sing along with the radio. She wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t very accomplished either. So Malachi started singing along with her, laughing when his howls made her wince. She finally gave up telling him to hush and just sang louder. Their days off were spent running through the park and watching scary movies curled up on the couch. Often, Chuck would talk to him about various scenarios or ask for his opinions, and they would laugh at her clumsy interpretations of his answers. Every day, the conversations went deeper, her understanding grew sharper, and he knew she was aware that he was not truly a dog, but she didn’t mention it. Neither of them seemed ready to push the issue.
At first, Chuck had been a bit miffed at him because he managed to get the other K-9s to form a union of sorts, striking while demanding higher wages for bacon snacks. Although the dispute was resolved amicably andbacon demands met, she’d scolded him furiously for his involvement. He’d rather enjoyed that part as well, but he didn’t want to make her so mad she’d cancel their deal. Training had shown him he was going to get to hunt down criminals and fetch them. Possibly even bite them. He really liked those classes and was enthusiastic on days he got to attack the volunteer in the padded suit.
Reena loved hearing his stories about training and what mischief he got up to. She especially enjoyed his recounting of the great Bacon Rebellion. Truly, she was the perfect companion. She liked to listen, she didn’t talk back, and she was always up to spread chaos. A particular favorite was chasing their neighbor Muriel’s cat. It drove the woman crazy, but she didn’t dare speak against Chuck. Malachi ensured that, snarling and howling like he was summoning an army of the undead anytime she came near. Reena’s favorite toilet was Muriel’s begonias.
The lieutenant seemed impressed with his progress and fast-tracked his graduation. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. Chuck and Malachi were going on the news for a local feel-good story, then on their first official patrol as partners. He was actively looking forward to it.
“Off the bed, Malachi,” came Chuck’s irritated voice.
He snorted and rolled over, showing his belly, which she rubbed like she always did.Sucker,he sang and heard Reena’s wheezy laugh.
“Seriously, Mal, you know the rule. Only I get to sleep in the bed.” Chuck rolled her eyes.
He rolled his eyes right back. They had this same argument every night. She didn’t want him on the bed. He wasn’t sleeping on the floor. She would fuss at him. He would whimper. She would smile and say…
“Fine… but this is the last time. Tomorrow you’re in your dog bed. Got it?” Her lips curved gently; she knew the game too. Especially since she had never actually bought another dog bed, she laughed as he gave asmall happy rumble, then flipped the blanket back and yawned. She crawled into the bed while he made room for her. As she snuggled down under the comforter, she smirked when he flopped next to her. As they did every night, she talked about various things, telling him bits about her life, her friends growing up. He dutifully listened and would woof quietly at intervals to show he was paying attention. She would mumble to him until her eyes started drifting. Tonight was no different. “Goodnight, Mal,” she called sleepily and rubbed the silky spot between his ears.
Goodnight, Chuck,he thought as he started to drift off, too. He heard the piggy snort, meaning the Chuglet wanted on the bed. Another thing that wasn’t allowed but was often overlooked. He groaned as he had almost been asleep. Dragging himself to the edge of the bed, he gently picked Reena up in his mouth, hating the taste of fur, but not having opposable thumbs limited his options. Dropping her unceremoniously on the mattress, he curled back up with Chuck. He laughed when Reena snuggled against his butt and sighed with a happy wheeze. Her tail thumped a few times before her breathing indicated she was asleep. The little thing seemed attached to him, as if he were her savior. In a way, he was. No telling who she would have ended up with if they’d left her there at the rescue center.
The following morning, Malachi and Chuck were up extra early to report to the news station. Leaning down to straighten his spiffy new vest, she gave him some last-minute reminders. “This is it, Malachi, best behavior. No starting riots, no organizing revolts, and absolutely no peeing on anyone.”
He grumbled under his breath and rolled his eyes before licking her hand in agreement.Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.He trotted alongside her; the leash held limply at her side because she didn’t actually need it. It was just the requirement. He stared in interest at the scene around him, always on the lookout for ways to corrupt people despite his promise to Chuck. After all, he agreed to today only; tomorrow was a different story. Or when he got back to his man form. The newsroom was a prime location for corruption. Politics and power plays ruled the day, and they decided what the people heard and thought.
They were directed to a set with a perky platinum blonde woman and a handsome man with thick, coffee-brown, wavy hair that somehow stood tall but looked weightless. Malachi studied him intensely; he didn’t like the way the man was ogling Chuck.
“Officer Charles?” the woman squeaked. “Hi, I’m Candy Morgan. This is Buck Perkins. We are just so incredibly excited to meet you! And who is this handsome fellow? Oh my gosh, isn’t he just the sweetest wittle baby ever? Look at him! Malachi, right?” She squealed in a high-pitched tone and began to baby-talk him.
Malachi stared at her in horror.Oh hell no, that bimbo better not be calling ME a wittle baby. Wait, is she going to pet me? Ugh!He tried to back up, but Chuck cleared her throat and pulled on his leash, giving him a subtle reminder to act like a dog. Groaning internally, he sat, then panted and held out a paw for the blonde twit to shake.
“Oh, isn’t he just the sweetest gentleman!” the reporter gushed. She reached out and shook him, then dug her fingernails behind his ears, giving him a good scratch.
Oh, wait, keep doing that!He moaned and leaned into her, scooting closer. He licked her cheek and decided she wasn’t too bad after all.
Buck leaned down. “Big fellow, huh? Bet his bite is worse than his bark, right?” he chuckled before he continued in a smarmy voice that set Malachi’s teeth on edge. “Officer Kelly Charles, my my, if I’d known such beautiful women were serving on the force, I might have chosen a different career path. The city’s finest indeed.” He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head in a pose that someone had probably told him was sexy, smiling with all his overly whitened teeth on display. Even worse, he took her hand and kissed the back of it like the star of the daytime soap opera Reena liked to watch.
Chuck’s mouth dropped open, and she leaned back, cringing at the sheer cheese factor of the situation. She may have been coached by the PR department for the interview, but no one warned her to school her face when Buck acted like—well—Buck.
