Stepping back, ignoring her wide-eyed stare, he shimmered and shifted into his canine form. Shrugging off the clothing still clinging to his body, he picked it up in his jaws and carried it off to his room, where he nudged the door shut with his snout.
“Malachi!” she called after him, her voice thick, full of shock. “No, Mal, that’s not what I meant!”
Shifting back to lock the door, he leaned his head on the wood and squeezed his eyes closed. He hated the sound of pain in her tone, but he couldn’t risk himself or even her this way. It was better that she only thought of him as an animal until Hyacinth called him back to kill him. Was it easier to bury a pet than a friend or lover? He wasn’t sure. He’d never had either before.
Maybe he could fake his death, like a sudden seizure, so Chuck wouldn’t have to explain the disappearance of her partner. Then they could have a clean break. In fact, he would do that at the station the next day. With witnesses, it was no fault of hers. He banged his head on the door once and groaned. Turning to the bed, he stumbled towards it and threw himself down face-first.
After a few minutes, he heard whimpering and scratching at the door. Reena wanted in; she was worried about him. But he didn’t have the energy to drag himself over, and truthfully, he wanted to be alone to wallow in hisdespair. He hadn’t finished criticizing himself and calling himself names for being stupid enough to believe he had a chance at something real with a human. Not just any human, a half-angel. Someone like Chuck. A police officer, for Hell’s sake. Someone who stood for truth and justice. Someone who believes right should triumph over wrong and punish evildoers. Like him.
Rolling on his back, he covered his face with his hands and ground the heels of them into his eyes hard to stop the tears that wanted to fall.Stupid fucking idiot. Abysmal pimple on Satan’s ass. Mud between Lucifer’s hooves. Wart on Asmodeus’ ball sack. Worse. So much worse. I deserve everything Hyacinth is going to do to me. And more.
On and on his self-flagellation went until Reena gave up and moved to Chuck’s room. He heard her soft murmur and sniffling as she closed her door again. Heaving out a sigh, he strained his ears, tormenting himself, listening to the sounds of her tears.She’s crying; maybe that means she does still care about me.Groaning in disgust at how weak and desperate he sounded even to himself, he burrowed under the blanket and put a pillow over his head to muffle the sound.Stop, she’s crying because you yelled at her, and she didn’t get the last word. You heard her; she doesn’t think you’re capable of having real feelings. She’s certainly not worried about that.
Finally, he fell into a fitful, restless sleep.
Of Angels and Unicorn Farts
What felt like days later, but was in actuality only two hours, Malachi heard a tap at the door. It was hesitant and so light, he almost thought he’d imagined it. Listening hard, it came again, faintly. He could hear her breathing, now. Ignoring it, he flopped to his other side and ground his jaw. His eyes burned, gritty and rough from his stupid emotions. He couldn’t even pretend it was a lack of sleep; it was just raw gut-wrenching feelings that he didn’t ask for and couldn’t get rid of. The worst part was that no matter how bad this felt, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“Malachi,” came a soft, tearful plea. “Please, talk to me.”
Gritting his teeth, he strengthened his resolve to stay silent. He crossed his arms over his chest and hugged himself tightly.
“Please,” she sobbed. “Mal, don’t ice me out like this.”
Groaning, he sat up and slid off the bed. Making his way towards the door, he slowly unlocked it and immediately shifted back to canine form, nudging the door wider. He stared at her, tilting his head to the side.
Dropping to her knees, Chuck took his head in her hands, ruffling his ears with her fingers. “Malachi, please don’t do this. You don’t need to be a dog around me. I like your human form. Even your demon form. I’m sorry, I’m not sure what I said. But please, let’s talk this out.”
Hanging his head low, he studied the grain in the hardwood, debating how to respond.Chuck, I think it’s better this way. We need distance. I’m going to die soon, and it will be awkward for you. My human form is too complicated. This is easier.
“Fuck easy,” she shouted. “Malachi, I don’t want you to die. I don’t want to live without you. What did I say? What did I do? Please… tell me so I can fix this.” Her eyes drowned in sorrow, and her aura was the solid black of mourning.
The color was the final straw. He knew then he needed to make this break.No, Chuck. There’s nothing else to discuss; I’ll be dead in a few days. There’s no ‘fixing’ this.He brushed past her and headed to the back door. Slinking through the dog flap, he crept into the backyard. Taking a deep breath of the close air, he whimpered slightly at the thought of what he left behind in that room. The image of Chuck on her knees, her eyes swollen, desolate, burning pits of despair flashed helpfully through his mind.
Staring at the sky, desperate for relief of this torment, Malachi sent out:I don’t know if anyone is listening, or if you even care to hear from someone like me, but if you are, help Chuck. Keep her safe. Protect her when I can’t. And… please don’t let her hurt too long after I die. If she even cares. Maybe she doesn’t, but if she does…Dropping his head and shaking it, he huffed.No one’s listening to me.
Gathering himself, Malachi turned towards the gate, intending to roam the neighborhood for a while. Maybe run and clear his head. A sharp burning sensation coated his skin like he was caught inside an oven.Nothing had touched him, but he was encased in a tingling wash of pain sostrong, even his fur hurt. Dropping to the ground, Malachi panted hard and whined low in his throat. Whatever was attacking him was rendering him helpless. He couldn’t remember anything ever hurting this much.
“I’m listening,” came a ringing voice, the force of it shoving Malachi further into the grass as it rolled over him like a peal of thunder.
Thanks, but can you dial down the grace there, wing boy? You’re melting me,Malachi panted as he blinked blearily at the angel towering over him. This was the source of his agony.
“Oh, my apologies,” the angel offered as he bowed with a slight grin, not looking the least bit sorry. He did, however, turn down the wattage of his glow, granting Malachi a slight reprieve. “It’s not every day a demon prays to Heaven—at least not authentically, especially on someone else’s behalf. So, I was sent personally to check this out. Tell me.” The angel smiled serenely now as he settled himself cross-legged on the grass, adjusting his wings behind him to get more comfortable. “Why on Earth is ademonpraying?”
Huffing a sigh, Malachi shook his head as he dragged himself to his feet, unsure how he ended up in these kinds of situations.I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. I thought I was just asking for help for Chuck.He glanced up at the angel again, and seeing only quiet contemplation, he forged ahead.Look, this is awkward, so I’m just going to put it out there. Chuck, well, Kelly Charles, is half-angel. Her father was a full angel. He died and never told her. Demons are after her now, and I was sent here undercover to corrupt her for Hell. I didn’t know it at first, but my former commander came and told me to do it, or I would be killed. I was on board with it, I mean… demon, you know?He snuck a peek and saw the angel nodding along, indicating he understood.
Anyway, thing is, I got to know her, Chuck. And well, I can’t do it. I care about her too much. I didn’t know it was possible, but… dammit, I developed feelings for her, and I think I… l-love her. Never knew I could feel that way, much less for someone on your side, but here we are. I do. I love her. I won’t hurt her, and I’m going to die because of it. I don’t want her to suffer because of it either. She needs protection. And maybe, can you like… erase her memories of me? Make it so she doesn’t remember any of it? She deserves better.
Sighing heavily, the angel dropped his head and steepled his fingers against his lips. “It’s a very noble thing you ask, demon Malachi.” He glanced up and winked as Malachi jumped at his name. “Yes, I know who you are. I’m very interested in what’s going on with Kelly Charles. She’s my niece.”
Sitting back, Malachi huffed.Well, I’ll be damned even more than I already am. Any other feathery family lurking out there?
“Quite a few of us, actually. But here’s the thing. I won’t do it. Grief and pain are part of the human experience. She has to go through this to grow.”
Fuck that!Malachi shouted.Human experience my furry ass, she doesn’t deserve that. She didn’t ask for this. She’s an innocent pawn in this sick fucking game. You have the ability, do it! Help her, she’s your family. You know it’s not fair.
Shaking his head, his expression sorrowful now, the angel gave a sad smile. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he studied Malachi. “I know, it sucks. What’s the cliché? Life isn’t fair? Well, it’s true. Life isn’t fair. She has free will, and we will not manipulate her mind or her life just because of a setback. Maybe you—”
