“We’re going to get through this together. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“This isn’t real. They can’t be gone. No. This isn’t real. Not my daddy. Why?”
“I don’t know, baby. I don’t want it to be real either. I just talked to him this morning before I left for training.
“We said we would talk again tonight. He was going to come to the combine. This was his dream.
“He was so excited. Now he’s gone. I’m doing all of this on my own now. He’s gone,” he sobs.
I’m so confused and numb. I don’t know how long we sit on the floor naked and sobbing. My world just ended. My daddy is gone, and my second father is gone with him.
This can’t be real.
CHAPTER 24
Empty Hearts
Zahirah
“How are you girls holding up?”Mrs. Gunderson asks as Erica and I sit on the couch in the Coswell home.
Our moms decided to do a joint funeral and repass. We’ve been asked the same question more times than I can count. I’m still trying to make sense of what’s even happening.
Everything feels empty: our home, these people’s words, everything. I don’t want to be here because I don’t want this to be real.
How can the two men who raised and looked out for me all my life just be gone? That stupid truck driver took them from us. Why didn’t he pull over?
Why didn’t he get more rest before getting out on the road? Now two of the most important men in my life are gone. I’ll never hear my daddy’s voice again, I’ll never see his smile or have a talk with him.
“We’re not,” Erica chokes out beside me, pulling me from my thoughts. “We’re not holding up. In one single moment, our fathers have been taken from us.
“Holding up? I don’t know if my family will ever be the same again. We’re not holding up at all. We’re barely breathing.
“I get it. You’re all trying to be kind and don’t know what to say. Guess what?
“We have no words. Our hearts are broken, and we’re all lost as fuck. Excuse my language.
“My father wouldn’t have liked that, but ma’am. We’re not holding up and if one more person asks that question …” Erica shakes her head and gets up to run off.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean?—”
“It’s okay. She’s right. We’re not okay. Thank you for being here,” I say and push up to get up and grab my crutches.
I do my best to hobble after Erica. It looks like she raced out the back door. I get to the sliding doors and see her sitting in the grass with Tara and Lauren. My heart breaks a little more when I spot Bentley sitting on the swing set, not that far from them. His head is hung, and his shoulders are slumped.
We haven’t had much alone time since arriving back home to support our moms. Being an only child, I’ve spent most of my time with my mother helping her make the arrangements. Mom, being Mom, has tried to be strong for everyone.
However, I’ve heard her breaking down at night. The sobs have been tearing me apart. This all hurts so bad.
“Hey, you need some help?” Garret asks as he appears.
Bentley lifts his head and turns in my direction. In the next breath, he’s on his feet, rushing to help me off mine. He lifts me into his arms as Garret takes my crutches.
Returning to the swing with me in his embrace, he then retakes his seat and places me on his lap. Tightening his hold around me, he buries his face in my neck and inhales deeply.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I’ve just?—”
“Bentley, don’t. I understand. You lost your father too. This isn’t just happening to me.”
