I get that once he graduates from college, his life is going to change and I probably won’t be a part of any of that,but I thought we’d have these two years to make a few more memories.
I’ve seen all the Coswell kids as friends all my life. Bentley is no different. He used to carry me around on his back, the same as he did with Erica, Lauren, and Tara.
He’s bandaged a knee or two for me and has handled a few bullies to protect me. Not wanting to lose any of that as a child who grew up without siblings, I thought this was a fantastic idea.
“I’m so stupid,” I sob to myself.
“I highly doubt that. You got into this place. You can run like a Tasmanian devil and this place wouldn’t have accepted you if your grades were crap,” Arlene says.
“Like my mom says, book smarts and common sense don’t always hang out together.”
“I like that one. I’m stealing it,” she says and comes over to sit on the edge of my bed. She reaches to tuck a lock of hair that has slipped from my ponytail behind my ear.
“Let’s see how good I am at reading between the lines. From his reaction and yours I gather you know Bentley Coswell. However, that reunion didn’t go as you had expected.
“Now you’re questioning yourself and your decision to come here. Am I right?”
“Yeah, something like that. Bentley is my next-door neighbor and my best friend’s older brother. We were both going to come here together. She changed her mind, but I thought I’d still come since Bent and I have always been friends.
“I have no idea who that was. He treated me like a stranger. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. And I’ve torn a swimsuit during a swim meet before.
“I still think that was sabotage, but I didn’t feel this humiliated then. I don’t understand why he was so cold to me,” I choke out.
“Boys are stupid. I stopped trying to understand them a long time ago.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I should do the same.”
“Honey, you’re gorgeous. There are plenty of mistakes to be made on this campus and I can’t make them all by myself. That means you have to make the other half.
“I say you forget all about him and find someone else to welcome you to campus properly. There’s a party tonight. I was invited while getting our food.
“How’s your head? Do you think you’re up for a frat party with your new bestie?”
Erica’s words come back to me.This is your first year of college. Fuck my brother, he can be such an idiot. Forget about him and make the best of your college years. You’ve made this too much about him; now make it about you.
She had a point. Both she and Arlene are right. Bentley can do whatever he wants. I’m here for my education and a chance to run competitively.
Heck, they have a great swim team here as well. I turn eighteen in two weeks and I’m not going to do that while sulking over a stupid crush. My tears dry up and I sit up.
“Sure, why not?”
Bentley
I haven’t beenable to get my sister’s words out of my mind. I never thought of how much my life would change when it comesto those close to me once I get drafted. Yeah, I know the fame and money will come. But I didn’t think about how much I’m not like Erica and Lauren. They plan to return home after college to work in our hometown and start a family there.
I’ve always taken for granted that they will all be there when I return. Like frozen figures in a snow globe, waiting for my attention to return to them. To hear that Zah doesn’t think she’ll fit in that picture doesn’t make sense to me. However, now that it’s been said, I can’t get it out of my mind.
“Fuck, she came here for one last chance to be a part of my life,” I say as I stare down into my lap.
Like a little sister missing her big brother, and here I’ve fucked it all up. I don’t know where life will take any of us, but I understand what Erica tried to get through to me. We’re all growing up and life is changing.
Our paths might not meet up the same and with my future set to be in the league, I might not have the same circle when I do return home. This has been a huge dose of reality for me. I’m also flattered Zah would choose to come here to have this time with me.
“You’re an absolute moron,” I breathe.
I should be getting ready for the party we’re throwing tonight, but I’ve been sitting here with my towel still around my waist, lost in my thoughts. I feel like such an asshole. There has to be a way to make this up to Zah.
Erica has never chewed me out so badly before. Knowing I hurt Zah’s feelings makes me sick to my stomach. If only she didn’t reduce my brain to mush.
