Which leaves Vann and me alone.
“Want to watch a movie?” I ask.
“Sure.” Vann shoves a fourth piece of pizza in his mouth, leg bouncing an endless rhythm. “You pick.”
“You know we’ll be watching a documentary if I pick, and you hate those.”
He shrugs. “Honestly, I’d watch anything right now. I just need a distraction.”
A hundred inappropriate ways to distract him float into my head like balloons that instantly pop. He doesn’t want any of that from me. He wants Raven.
I toss him the remote and sit down on the couch. “Picking can be your distraction.”
He gets up from the stool at the counter and joins me, sinking into the couch cushion right next to me. There’s only an inch between us. The heat from his muscular thigh sends tingles of awareness up my spine. If I spread my legs a little, we’d be touching, and I’m a little overwhelmed by how much I want that. I’m so consumed by his closeness that I don’t realize he’s started a movie until the music plays on the intro.
“What’d you pick?” I ask.
“Some action flick my sister told me about.” He scoots around, getting comfortable. His knee bumps mine, a shot of adrenaline that’s gone too fast when he pulls away.
Ten minutes into the movie, I know we’ve made a mistake. It’s not a romance, but there’s a strong sexual subplot, and it’s clear we’re headed toward an intimate scene. And not a tame one. The two men on the screen kiss aggressively as they rip off each other’s clothes.
Normally, I see a scene like this and it doesn’t do much for me beyond a passing twinge. I don’t know these people. I’ve only just met the characters, and the actors mean nothing to me. The most I might feel is a curious fascination. But right now, with Vann sitting so close to me, I keep picturing those men as us.
Vann reclines with an arm over the back of the couch as he spreads his legs. This time when his knee touches mine, he leaves it. A slow warmth spreads from the small point of contact, making it impossible to focus. Is this affecting him as much as it’s affecting me? No, probably not. If the scene is getting to him, I’m sure he’s not thinking of me.
I shift away.
On the screen, one man kneels. His head covers his counterpart’s cock, but what’s happening is clear.
“Oh, fuck, yes,”the standing man moans. He grips the back of the other man’s head and shoves him all the way down his length.“That’s it, baby, choke on my dick.”
I fight the urge to squirm and try to act natural. It’s just a scene in a movie. This is no different from the countless other movies Vann and I have watched together.
My hands curl into fists. I can’t stop wondering if Vann would talk dirty like that to me if I sucked his cock. What would he say? What would he taste like? I’ve never given anyone a blowjob before. I didn’t have my first crush until college, about the time I found out I’m demi, but I was never brave enough to pursue the guy. We drifted apart, and nothing came of it.
Now, I’m not just curious about the experience from an abstract perspective. I want it. Not just with anyone, but with Vann.
I jump off the couch. “Want some water? I want some water. Water sounds good, right?”
I’m not thirsty, but I don’t want him to know that.
He grunts out that he doesn’t want anything, and I shoot toward the kitchen.
From there, I can still hear the moans and groans of the couple in the movie. My skin feels tight and hot. I subtly adjust myself, tucking my cock into the waistband of my jeans so my boner isn’t so obvious or digging as painfully against my zipper.
I take my time getting water, hoping the scene will be over by the time I get back to the couch. It’s not. I don’t bother sitting down. “Uh, I think I’m just gonna go to bed. I’m pretty tired.”
Vann looks away from the screen, his dilated eyes meeting mine. A small, amused smile curls his lips, as if heknows exactly how uncomfortable I am, but he doesn’t call me out or make fun of me for it. If anything, the look he gives me is soft and a little… sad?
“Night, Rhodes,” his voice is just barely loud enough to carry over the music from the movie. I turn away and hightail it to the bedroom.
44
VANN
Orion’s been gone for two hours now, and I’m losing my shit. I get why Tanner suggested this, but I hate waiting my turn. We should all be with her right now, showering her with affection and praise and more orgasms than she can stand.
The movie isn’t holding my attention anymore. After Rhodes left, it just fizzled out. Like all the tension was actually coming from him rather than the actors on the screen. I felt bad for making him uncomfortable, but there was something about the way he squirmed that felt different from the innocent indifference I normally sense from him when it comes to sex. I’m not sure I could name what it was, though.
