That takes the wind out of my sails. Bonding sickness. It doesn’t usually last long. Maybe a few weeks. But it can be brutal. I pull the sheet tighter around me. “I’ll deal with it.”
“What about Orion? You’re just gonna make him suffer that?”
“I’ll be fine,” Orion says from where he’s now standing with Rhodes in the doorway. But he doesn’t look fine, and his anxiety is clear through the bond.
Shit, I don’t want to hurt him. Even if this pack hurt me, I’m not the vindictive type. I just want them to leave me alone. “I can’t stay here. What’ll I tell my coach? My publicist? My bodyguard?”
I bend over, hands on my knees, heaving in deep breaths. The thought of telling Foster I’m bonded makes my heart race in the worst way. My lungs tighten, and it’s a struggle to get oxygen into them. Panic. Pure panic.
“Tell them the truth,” Vann says, shrugging.
“Fuck.” Tanner spins away from me, looking at his packmates. “She’s right. This can’t get out. Everyone who thinks omegas shouldn’t be here will use this to prove their point.”
Orion growls, and I glare at him, willing him to stand down.
“Not to mention the kind of heat we’ll be under for bonding an omega against her will,” Tanner adds.
A memory tickles my brain. My teeth meeting his flesh.
Orion crouches, head in his hands. Nausea rolls through the bond. “It wasn’t… I didn’t… fuck.Fuck!”
He really does seem remorseful, but that doesn’t change the facts of the situation.
“Okay, we all need to take a step back and think about this strategically for a minute,” Rhodes speaks up for the first time. “I imagine your publicist and coach won’t want this to get out either. So we can probably trust them with it.” He paces the small hallway, biting his knuckle while he thinks. “How well do you know your bodyguard? Do you trust him?”
My cheeks heat, and my core clenches. Orion, Tanner, and Vann all snap their heads toward me. Shit, they can feel that.
I avoid looking back at them. “Um… I trust him.”
“Okay, good,” Rhodes goes on, oblivious to the tension firing through our newly formed bond. “We’ll call him and have him come here, explain the situation, and we can all come up with a plan together.”
“No. I don’t… I can’t…” My legs finally give out, and I sink to the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms tightly around them. Making myself as small as I can. Telling Foster. Harriett’s disappointment. Coach’s judgement. Ana already thinks I only made it into the Olympics because of my designation and don’t deserve my spot on the team. Especially after that fall. If she hears about this… No, I can’t let her find out. “Just Foster. Not the others.”
33
ORION
My mate is on the phone with her bodyguard, and I’m trying to keep myself in check. All I want to do is drag her back to bed—preferably with Tanner this time.
“What happened?” Tanner whispers. He’s asking me, but he’s staring after Raven.
We’re all still standing in the hall outside the bedroom door, too stunned to move, or maybe we’re just trying to give Raven a moment of privacy for her phone call even though the walls are thin enough that we can hear everything.
“The south building, yeah.” Raven’s voice carries, though I can’t see her. “I just need… um… yeah, I know.” She’s quiet for a minute, like she’s listening. “Can we talk about it when you get here?”
My packmates and I exchange looks, uncertain how this guy’s gonna respond when Raven tells him what happened. I wouldn’t be surprised if he kicks my ass. I might even welcome it. Raven may have been the first tobite, but I could have done more to stop it. I was the sober one. I should have been more careful.
“What happened?” Tanner repeats his question from before, keeping his voice down so Raven can’t hear.
“I followed her out of the party. We were talking, I explained things, and she was really listening. I was getting through to her. But then, she had a heat spike. I knew that’s what was happening, but I didn’t know she was so out of it she’d forget. I mean, she was pretty dazed, but I thought....” I wrap my arms around my stomach, curling in on myself. Tanner steps closer, fists clenching like he’s trying to stop himself from reaching for me. “She was begging me to bond her, and I tried to resist, tried to stop her, but… she bit me, and I kind of lost it after that. The second the bond snapped into place, it was like…”
“Everything felt right,” Tanner finishes quietly. He may not have been the one to bite her, but he can feel an echo of her though the bond he and I share. They all can, well, not Rhodes. I always assumed we’d bond Rhodes eventually, but he’s not an impulsive guy. We wanted to give him time to be sure. Now, I feel bad for him that he can’t feel how beautiful Raven is in the bond like the rest of us can.
“Did you… you know?” Vann asks.
I shake my head, unsure what he’s asking until he makes a circle with his thumb and forefinger and slides the pointerfinger of his other hand in and out of it.
“Don’t be so crude,” Tanner backhands Vann’s chest.
