“Nothing’s changed,” Tanner repeats with a growl. “She still needs to focus for tomorrow, and she’ll hate us even more if we throw her off.” He grabs the gift box Vann is still holding. “So, no gifts. No talking to her. Nothing. Not until after her competition. The press says she’s gonna be in Cortina after her last skate tomorrow, so we’ll find her then. And not before then. Understood?”
I tilt my head, studying our pack lead more carefully. I don’t need to be bonded to him to sense the pure rage simmering below the surface of his words.
Vann and Orion grumble their agreement, but Vann looks like he’s ready to make a break for it anyway. Or like he’s contemplating murder. Neither are great options. He doesn’t say a word as we walk to the shuttle. I hang back, and when he slides into a window seat, I slide in beside him.
“She was really something,” I say as the shuttle pulls away from the Milan Olympic Village. It’s my attempt to lighten the mood and maybe get him to open up. Bottling up this energy can’t be good for any of them.
I don’t have the same attachment to Raven, but I can admit she was beautiful to watch. The guy’s fascination with her is easy to understand.
Vann flicks a glance my way before looking back out the window. He doesn’t take the bait, doesn’t respond at all, and something in my chest twists into a tangled knot.
The drive back to Cortina is torturous, all of us lost in our own thoughts. Vann eventually falls asleep, and his head lolls onto my shoulder. The position bares his neck to me, an unintentional sign of submission. It also puts his scent glands far too close to my nostrils. My heart rate picks up speed as his sweet butterscotch aroma fills my senses and makes my mouth water. It seems stronger than usual. Though, is it stronger? Or am I just noticing more? There’s no doubt my affection has been growing for the alpha, and recently so have…other… things.
Does he taste as good as he smells?
I swallow thickly, the question circles my mind and makes my cock half hard. Vann moves in his sleep, and his nose brushes my neck like he’s subconsciously searching for my more subdued beta scent.
What if he is?
His hot breath tickles my skin, and I imagine feeling its warmth against other places. I don’t know quite what to do with these thoughts. They’re new and terrifying, but exhilarating, too.
My natural curiosity feeds these ideas like dry tinder on a fire. Suddenly, I want to know what it would be like to follow them to their natural end, to explore this budding attraction.
But what would that do to our pack dynamics? Especially if Vann doesn’t return my interest? Will knowing how I feel about him change things between us? I’m the most expendable part of the pack. I haven’t been with them as long. None of them have bitten me. My place in the pack is entirely by choice, and that could change. It would be so easy for them to decide they don’t want me if I disrupt things.
And then, there’s Raven.
Complicating things even more.
It’s easier to just keep these burgeoning feelings to myself. I won’t say anything, but I’ll let myself enjoy the close feel of Vann’s body pressed against mine while I can.
20
RHODES
You could cut the tension in this locker room with a knife. We didn’t get home from Milan until nearly two in the morning, and we all just went straight to bed. No more discussion about Raven, the pack, the gifts. I know Vann didn’t sleep well. We’re sharing the second bedroom in the apartment, and he was tossing and turning all night.
Even at breakfast this morning, an unusual silence settled over us. It’s no better now that we’re at the arena.
Usually there’re more athletes in the locker rooms—some getting ready, some using the communal showers after a tough game. But we’re the first match of the day, and we’re here early since none of us could sleep, so the four of us are left to stew in our thoughts.
“I’m going to go talk to Coach about our strategy against Sweden,” Tanner suddenly declares, moving toward the exit.
“I’ll go with you!” Orion awkwardly follows our packalpha out, the door slowly closing and snicking shut behind them.
Vann and I stare at the door. “You don’t think they’re going to…” I trail off, assuming Vann will know what I’m insinuating. He’s got that glazed look in his eye, like he’s zoning out, so I’m not entirely sure he heard me until he finally shrugs.
“Who knows? I’m gonna take a shower, see if I can wake myself up a little.” Vann strides through the open doorway into the communal shower area, and just like that, I’m alone. The shower turns on, the sound echoing in the empty space.
I’ve never seen my pack so disjointed. I may be the newest addition, but we’re usually seamless. Sure, we may rib each other from time to time, and everyone has disagreements, but it’s never been like this. Like we’re quiet, awkward strangers.
It doesn’t help that I haven’t been bitten into the pack, yet. Without having the metaphysical bond to my brothers, I can’t get a read on them like they can with each other. If I could, maybe I wouldn’t worry so much, but it’s just me, myself, and I in my head right now, which ramps up my anxiety.
Not for the first time, I wish I’d met them earlier. Maybe grew up with them. Or even wasn’t the odd one out and was fucking one or more of them. I know they care for me, and they need me for the Olympics, but what about after? I don’t think they’re keeping me around just so they can compete, but now with Raven in the picture I’m not 100% sure. I try my best not to let the typical beta insecurities burrow into me, but sometimes it can't be helped.
It’ll befine. It has to be.
I heave a sigh then lean forward. My elbows rest on my knees, and I drop my face to my hands, attempting to rub away the stress. Something hitting the tile wall of the showers has my head shooting back up. Was that Vann? Is he okay?
