The way he took the guy down drew the attention of everyone in the room, but more than that, it made something flutter in my chest that I haven’t really experienced before with Vann. I have to admit it was hot.
“Hey, wanna grab something to eat before we go back?” Vann asks just as an icy raindrop falls on my cheek. With his arm still over my shoulders, his hip bumps against mine and sends warmth up and down that side of my body. His touch is casual and friendly, completely normal for Vann, but my reaction to it is new, intriguing in a way I’m a little curious to explore.
Sexual attraction isn’t something I’ve felt often—which got me bullied a lot in high school and college. What kind of man doesn’t want sex, right? Even a beta.
I met my pack freshman year, and I was lucky they didn’t press me about it. But I can’t say it didn’t cause some confusion at first. It wasn’t until the Human Sexuality class I took as an elective sophomore year that I learned what it meant to be demisexual. It isn’t that I don’t want sex, but I need to form a deep and meaningful emotional connection to a partner before my libido kicks in. That class changed everything. Finding out there were others out there like me, and I wasn’t broken? It’s like everything about that side of myself just clicked into place.
A few more raindrops touch the bare skin of my face. Lightning cracks overhead, and I flinch. I hate storms. Vann’s arm on my shoulder shifts down so his hand squeezes my bicep. Even through my heavy coat, the pressure of that small, comforting touch lights something up inside me.
“Yeah, I could go for some food. And we should get out of the rain.” I’m not hungry at all, but I say yes anyway. I tell myself it’s to help him take his mind off Raven, but there’s more to it than that. I’m just not sure I’m willing to unpack it all right now.
The sky opens up, drenching my uncovered head and the beanie Vann’s got pulled down over his ears. We look at each other and break into a run, dashing toward the dining hall. We’re laughing by the time we get there, soaked through to the bone, shivering, but exhilarated. The heated air is a shock to my system and my nose immediately starts to run. When I sniffle, Vann turns to me and rubs his hands up and down my arms like he’s trying to warm meup. Something sparks and skitters inside me with each brisk brush of his palms.
“You okay?” he asks, the genuine care in his voice takes me offguard, even though I know it’s just the normal concern of a packmate. “You’re soaked.”
“No wetter than you.” The words come out too breathy, and I clear my throat. Vann smirks at my unintentional innuendo. “How about some soup?” I unzip my damp coat and take it off before pulling the rubberband from my hair and squeezing out my shoulder length strands.
“Soup sounds incredible.” Vann removes his own coat, revealing a tank top that shows off his tattooed arms. How he can walk around in just that when it’s barely thirty degrees outside beats me, but I’m not complaining about the view. Vann is leaner than most alphas, but his body is toned and there’s definition to his muscles that I can’t look away from. The swirling black lines and roses that climb his arms just accentuate them.
Lately, it’s becoming harder and harder to deny that I’ve been thinking of Vann as more than just a packmate. Sure, I have an emotional connection with all the guys, but there’s something different about Vann.
Tanner and Orion were already intimately involved with each other when I joined the pack. Which is a nice way of saying they fuck like bunnies and never seem to slow down. Just thinking about how much lube those two must go through makes me wonder if they buy it in bulk.
Naturally, that led to Vann and I spending a lot of time together. But then it turned into… more. I can’t explain it. It isn’t like a switch flipped, it was gradual. Vann is just so earnest and caring. It’s hard for me to understand how he ever could have bullied Raven. The Vann I know doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. His enthusiasm will lift anyone’s spirits, and his smile brightens every room.
I’ve never told him that I might like things to change between us. I’m too nervous. What if he rejects me, and it makes the pack dynamics awkward as fuck? I feel like we’re all pretty committed to each other, but I’m not bonded to any of them. If things really went south, they could kick me out.
And now that Raven’s back in the picture, things feel even more complicated. How can I compete with a scent match?
After paying for our soup and finding a table in the corner, Vann stares absentmindedly at his bowl rather than eating it. We both got French Onion soup, but he just keeps breaking the bread apart and toying with the stringy cheese.
“We’ve got to figure out how to convince Tanner to let us go to Milan to see Raven after her competitions,” Vann finally says, letting me in on his thoughts. Of course they’re about Raven. I’m not bitter. I wouldn’t expect anything else, but the soup suddenly tastes sour and feels too heavy in my stomach.
“Um… I’m not sure you’ll be able to. He doesn’t seem all that interested.” I glance up at my packmate, setting my spoon down in my bowl to give him my full attention.
“Oh, he’s interested. He just can’t admit it.” He’s so sure of it, exuding confidence I don’t feel.
“Well, I don’t think he’ll stop you if you want to go. As long as you don’t miss any games.”
“No, it’s got to be all of us, man. She hates us—Tanner especially—if we want any hope of winning her over, he’sgot to be there when we apologize. She’s got to see that our entire pack, including our lead alpha, is sorry and wants her.”
“Does he, though?” I ask quietly, too chicken to admit Tanner might not be the only one who’s on the fence about Raven. I don’t even know the woman. I trust Vann, and I want him to be happy, but bringing an omega into our pack could change everything. What if she doesn’t want a beta? What if she doesn’t wantme?
“I already told you, he wants her.” Vann finally shoves a bite of soup into his mouth.
“Maybe he wants her, but is he really sorry?” It’s not a question I want to voice, but it needs to be asked. Tanner refuses to talk about Raven. I know he’s not proud of how he treated her, and I’m pretty sure he regrets it, but I’m not sure he’s ready to apologize. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tanner apologize. Not really. If he messes up, he’ll change his behavior and fix things, but he doesn’t admit he was wrong. Alpha pride and all that.
Vann looks at me, head tilted to the side, mouth still full of food.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” I mutter.
Vann swallows and takes a sip of water. “You are. We’re gonna give her the best swoon-worthy apologies known to man. That, combined with the gifts, will fix everything. You’ll see.”
For his sake, I hope he’s right. For mine… Well, I’m not ready to admit just what I’m hoping for.
9
RAVEN
