“I’m just worried,” he said. “My family is a lot.I’ma lot.” He sighed. “I just want you to be sure.”
Lark nodded. “I’ll have you know I’mnotsure about us,” she said. “Because you’re right. We need more time together before any major decisionsbetween usare made. But me going to college—or not going—has nothing to do with you. Not really.”
“You’re saying you didn’t consider me at all when you decided to drop out?” he asked.
“I wish you would stop making it sound so negative.”
“I don’t know how else to make it sound,” he said.
“Yes, I’m quitting,” she said. “I’m a college dropout. I hate school. I don’t want to do it. It feels pointless, and I’m never going to use that degree.”
“I thought you wanted to be a vet,” he said.
“Somepastversion of me wanted to be a vet,” Lark said.
“So what changed?” Cash asked, terrified of the answer.
The longer she took to say something, the more convinced Cash became that shehadquit because of him. “I don’t know how to do this,” he said.
“Fine. You were part of the equation,” she said. “Is that what you want to hear?”
“Yes. Or no,” he said. “I want to hear the truth.”
“Of course you’re part of the equation, Cash,” Lark said. “And maybe I wanted to be a vet last year, but then I met you, and the fact is, things have changed.I’vechanged, because I want to be with you more than I want to be a vet.”
Cash ground his teeth together. “You say that now, Lark, but you’retwenty-twoyears old. Four more years, so that you can be a vet is not that long.”
“Four years without you,” she said. “You want me to go four years without you?” She shook her head. “If we break up, you’ll meet someone else. You’re not going to waitfour yearsfor me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Cash asked.
“Because I’m nothing!” she said. “There are a million girls like me.”
“Not for me,” Cash said, and when Lark turned and gaped at him, he realized what he’d really said.
“Let me get this straight,” Lark said. “You think you’re not good enough for me, and I think I’m not good enough for you…? Is that what’s happening here?”
“I don’t know,” Cash said. “What I know is, if you give up the things you want—or that youdidwant—for me,” he said, glancing over to her again. “And something happens between us—if I let you down, if I don’t meet your expectations in any way—you’re going to resent me for the rest of your life. And I can’t do that. I can’t be the reason you’re upset. I can’t be the reason you don’t become what you’re meant to become.”
Silence filled the cab, and Cash actually enjoyed it, because it meant Lark was truly thinking about his concerns.
“I’m an adult, Cash,” she said calmly. “And no, I’m not going to make every decision perfectly, but Ihavethought through this and through this andthrough this. I have been over it and over it andover it, and when I make a list of what I want, being with you—getting more time with you to know for sure—is at the verytop. And I’m willing to sacrifice other things, so that I can know for sure if me and you are meant to be.”
Her hand in his tightened, and while she was saying all of the things Cash had prayed she would, it still left his stomach writhing with unrest.
“I missed you terribly while I was in Idaho,” she said. “And you weren’t there, so you don’t know, but I can honestly tell you that I looked around my apartment. I looked right in my roommates’ faces, other girls I love. I walked around my campus—and they have nothing for me. There is nothing for me there.”
“Okay,” Cash said.
“You’re here,” she said. “Grammy is here, my home is here, and Ineedto be in Coral Canyon, whether we stay together or not.”
“Okay,” Cash said.
“So whileof courseyou played a part in my decision, you were only a part.”
He nodded and looked out his side window, trying to get his emotions to line up before he said or did anything else. Once he felt more in control, he pulled her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss against her palm. “Well, I guess we’ll take it one day at a time, then.”
“I guess we will,” Lark said.
