Underneath, I'm wearing something just for him.
The thought makes my cheeks flush.
I brush out my hair and leave it down, run some mascara over my lashes, swipe on lip balm. Nothing too fancy. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard.
Even though I absolutely am.
When I check my phone, the time reads 11:15 PM.
Forty-five minutes.
I sit on the edge of my bed, hands folded in my lap, trying to calm my racing heart.
Charlie limps over and rests her chin on my knee, looking up at me with those soulful eyes.
"I'm doing this," I tell her. "I'm actually doing this."
She whines softly, like she's worried about me.
"I'll be okay," I promise, scratching behind her ears. "He's not going to hurt me. Shadow would never..."
I trail off because the truth is, I don't know what Shadow's going to do.
But I trust him.
At 11:30, I stand.
My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my throat, but my hands are steady as I grab my keys from the dresser.
I head downstairs, Charlie following slowly behind me.
I let her out for a quick walk before I go and she settles onto her bed in the living room—a massive cushion near the fireplace—and watches as I check my reflection one more time in the mirror by the door.
I look scared.
I look excited.
I look like a woman about to make a choice that will change everything.
"Wish me luck, girl," I tell Charlie, crouching down to give her one more pat. "Mama's choosing something for herself tonight."
She licks my hand, tail thumping.
I stand, take a deep breath, and walk out the door.
The drive to the north pasture feels like it takes forever and no time at all.
My truck's headlights cut through the darkness, illuminating the dirt road that winds through the property.
The ranch is quiet this time of night—just the sound of crickets and the occasional call of a night bird.
The moon is nearly full, casting everything in silvery light.
I know this land like the back of my hand.
Grew up riding these fences, checking cattle in these pastures, learning the rhythms of ranch life from the time I could walk.
But tonight, it feels different.
