“And he didn’t know who you were?”
She shook her head. “I used an alias. Anna Kozlov. I told him I was a grad student at Columbia, that my family was inimport/export. Generic enough to be believable, vague enough to avoid details.”
“But he told you who he was.”
“Not at first. He said he was also in import/export. It wasn’t until Adrian’s people identified him that I learned the truth.” She laughed bitterly. “The irony is, I wasn’t even angry about the lie. I understood why he’d hidden it. I was planning to come clean, to tell him everything, until—”
“Until I intervened,” Adrian said quietly.
“Until you destroyed everything good in my life,” she corrected. “Until you made me ghost the only man I’ve ever loved, made me break his heart and mine in the process.”
Matvei was quiet for a long moment, his fingers steepled in front of him. When he looked up, there was something like regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Anka. If I had known—”
“But you didn’t know. Because Adrian made sure of that. Just like he made sure I understood that Viktor would die slowly and painfully if I didn’t disappear from his life completely.” The old wounds were bleeding again, four years of suppressed grief and rage pouring out of her like poison from a lanced wound. “Do you know what it’s like to love someone so completely that you’d rather destroy yourself than see them hurt? To walk away from the only happiness you’ve ever known because staying would get them killed?”
“Anka.” Adrian’s voice was soft now, almost pleading. “I thought I was protecting you. Protecting our family.”
“You were protecting your ego.” She turned away from him, unable to look at his face anymore without wanting to put her fist through it. “And now, four years later, when I’ve finally started to build some kind of life without him, you want to throwme back into his path. You want to force me to marry the man whose heart I shattered on your orders.”
That’s when it hit her. The real reason behind this marriage, the true purpose of this alliance. Viktor hadn’t just agreed to marry her out of family duty or political necessity. This was personal.
“Oh, fuck.” The realization knocked the air out of her lungs. “This is his revenge, isn’t it? He knows. He knows what I did to him, and this is how he’s going to make me pay.”
Matvei frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Think about it,” she said, starting to pace like a caged animal. “Viktor Nikolai doesn’t need this marriage to cement the alliance. Your marriage to Irina already did that. But somehow, mysteriously, this additional union becomes necessary? Somehow, the Nikolais decide that one marriage isn’t enough to secure the peace between our families?”
Understanding dawned in Matvei’s eyes. “You think he orchestrated this.”
“I know he did.” Her laugh was wild, hysterical. “He’s spent four years planning this. Four years waiting for the perfect opportunity to get me exactly where he wants me. Trapped. Helpless. At his mercy.”
And the worst part, the part that made her want to scream until her throat was raw, was that she probably deserved it. She’d destroyed him just as thoroughly as Adrian had destroyed her, and now Viktor was going to return the favor.
“The wedding is in three weeks,” Matvei said quietly.
Three weeks. Twenty-one days to prepare herself for a lifetime of paying for the biggest mistake she’d ever made.Twenty-one days before she’d have to look into those ice blue eyes and pretend her heart wasn’t shattering all over again.
“I won’t do it.” The words came out automatically, a reflex born of desperation.
“Yes, you will.” Matvei’s voice was final. “Because if you don’t, the alliance falls apart. And if the alliance falls apart, we go back to war with the Nikolais. A war that will cost us everything we’ve built.”
He was right, and she hated him for it. Hated them both for putting her in this position, for making her choose between her own happiness and the survival of their family. Again.
“You’re both bastards,” she whispered.
“Perhaps,” Matvei acknowledged. “But we’re your bastards. And this is how our world works, Anka. You know that.”
She did know it. She’d been raised in this world of blood and loyalty, where personal desires came second to family obligations. Where love was a luxury they couldn’t afford, and happiness was something other people got to have.
But knowing it and accepting it were two very different things.
“I’ll do it,” she said finally, the words scraping her throat raw. “I’ll marry Viktor Nikolai. But don’t expect me to be grateful. Don’t expect me to smile and play the happy bride. And don’t expect me to forgive either of you for this.”
She turned to leave, but Adrian’s voice stopped her at the door.
“Anka. For what it’s worth... I am sorry.”
She looked back at him, this brother who’d once been her closest confidant, her partner in crime, her protector. Before he’d decided that controlling her life was more important than her happiness.
