“This isn’t a bad thing,” she finally says, pulling back to search my eyes. “Cody will be an amazing father to her.”
I nod my head because it’s all I can do right now as my brain tries to process this news.
The wasted years of Elsie’s life not having a dad in the picture because of Vance’s absence.
The guilt at not realizing this was a possibility sooner.
When Cody and I had last been together our summer before leaving for college, I’d been distraught. It was the summer after we graduated from high school, and as Cody had promised, we’d spent the time working at the rodeo together, sneaking out to meet up, and making love. The last time we'd had sex had been the day before I left for college. We’d gone for a night swim in his pool, and then had sex underneath a willow tree while his family slept a few feet away.
I’d been heartbroken but knew it was goodbye as we parted ways—he headed to Michigan for college, and I went to Texas State. A week later I met Vance and had a drunken, reckless hookupwith him at a frat party that at the time I thought resulted in my pregnancy with Elsie. A month later, when I found out that I was pregnant, the memory of my time with Cody felt like a distant lifetime.
The good news in all of this is that Elsie never really knew Vance, or had to be around him long enough for him to affect her.
The bad news is that Cody’s missed out on the last nine years of his daughter’s life.
This is… horrible...
“I'm going to tell him,” I gasp, tears running down my face now. I pull out my purse, grab some tissues and wipe at my eyes aggressively, trying not to ruin the makeup I put on this evening.
Georgia nods her head silently.
“He’s going to hate me,” I say.
“You didn’t know, Mae. I’ll be there for you when you tell him if you’d like.” She gives my hand a comforting squeeze. “Come on, let’s not think about the future for a moment and go see your baby daddy perform.”
I know she’s trying to lighten the mood. I know Georgia wants me to laugh, to push the weight of the envelope in my pocket out of my mind, even if just for a moment. But I can’t. It’s there, pressing against my thigh with every step we take, a reminder that no matter how much I might want to, I can’t pretend this doesn’t change everything.
We make our way inside the stadium, the crowd pulsing with energy, the opening bands wrapping up their sets as an electric anticipation builds in the air. Cody’s name flashes across the massive screens, and the roar of the audience is deafening.
And then he steps onto the stage.
The sound of his voice fills the stadium, and my heart pounds so violently in my chest that I swear I can hardly hear him over it.
The concert rages around us, his fans singing along to everylyric, their voices weaving together in a chorus of devotion. I’ve watched his performances through live streams every night since the tour started, but being here—feeling the energy of the crowd, the way he commands the stage, the sheer force of his presence—it’s something else entirely.
And then he transitions into a new song.
The melody is hauntingly beautiful, his voice raw with emotion, and I feel it deep in my bones. Every word, every note, carrying a weight that pulls at something inside me. The young girl who saw his potential and wanted to be with him. The man who I love now. His face is a perfect storm of passion and pain, his voice thick with something real, something I know all too well.
Then, toward the end of his set, his gaze sweeps over the VIP section, scanning the faces, the crowd blurring together in the glow of the stage lights. And his eyes find mine.
For a split second, time stops.
Heartache, hurt, longing—it all flashes through his expression, sharp and devastating, before he blinks it away. His jaw tightens, his shoulders straighten, and just like that, the moment is gone.
I am so sorry for not fighting harder for us. For not realizing that Elsie was yours.
All those lonely, scary nights I spent wondering whether Vance would show at his parents' house while I was at work and take Elsie from me.
Moving to Las Vegas to escape his and my family.
Elsie's first-time walking. First time talking. The way she smiled as a baby.
Oh, God!I hate myself for not realizing this years ago.
Cody reaches for his guitar before settling onto a stool that someone from the back has brought out to him.
“I’d like to share a new song with y’all if that’s alright? One I haven’t yet released.”
