“I have all the ingredients, but somehow the sauce won’t work out the way I want it to.” He pointed to the stove.
Remembering the breakfast he’d tried to make for me, I grabbed a spoon and said, “Let me see,” tasting the sauce. It was way too liquid and while it didn’t taste bad, it also didn’t taste great.
“Hm, I think it needs some spices and some flour,” I said, looking around the kitchen for the spice rack.
“I don’t understand, I did everything according to the recipe. Why isn’t it working,” he said in frustration, but I motioned for him to get out of the way.
“The recipe is just the basics, Theo. Cooking is more than just measuring ingredients. You have to experiment a little and adapt the recipe to your own liking.”
He opened a cupboard that was way too high up for me and handed me the spice rack. “Now, I think we need some more of this and this and maybe even a dash of this green stuff here.”
Theo didn’t look convinced, but after I added some herbs and stirred in the flour, the sauce was already looking and smelling much better.
“I think I have looked at life the wrong way for a long time,” Theo said, maybe more to himself than me. He looked down at his hands, as if he could find the answers in the palm of his hand.
I stayed quiet, giving him room to express his thoughts.
“I always followed the rules and relied on what I read about, thinking that knowing everything about a topic meant that I knew what to do with it too. But maybe that was just something I used to tell myself because I was too scared to actually do anything about it.”
He looked at me and his vulnerability was so damn attractive it nearly stole my breath. I leaned against the kitchen counter letting the sauce bubble for a while.
“It’s not like it was your choice, Theo. You were under so much pressure from an early age on, you didn’t know any better. Don’t blame yourself for the constraints other people put on you.”
He nodded, but his shoulders were still tense when he walked over to me. His feet were bare and on the wooden floors he didn’t make a sound when he moved. He stopped just in front of me.
“I think maybe it’s time for me to make my own choices. Maybe it’s time to experience everything I have read about andmaybeI have to stop being scared to try.”
His gaze was on me, as if he was waiting for me to give him permission to step closer. I reached out with my hand and took his hand in mine.
A gesture so intimate that the core of my body erupted in fire.
He shuddered, but took a deep breath and stepped a little closer then. He looked so much taller standing rightin front of me, and I could see his heart beating fast under his shirt.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Theo?” I asked, worried that he might just be angry with the Abbot and would regret getting close to me later on.
“I have never been more sure of anything in my life, Maelis. You heard the Abbot. The prophecy is just words, interpreted by priests who reveled in their power and who were scared to let me live. I don’t want them to decide my future anymore. And I want to be able to show you how much you mean to me.”
I melted at his words and my lips parted like an invitation. His eyes lowered to my lips and he stepped even closer, our bodies now flush against each other. His right hand reached up to cup my face and ever so slowly, he lowered his lips to my mouth. I had been kissed well before, but nothing could ever compare to the feeling of his mouth on mine. He pressed a deep kiss to my lips, only to draw back slightly and do it all over again. His lips were lush and soft, and I gasped in response. He chuckled but pulled me even closer. I opened my mouth, his tongue finding mine in agonizingly slow strokes until there was nothing left between us but pure emotion.
Our mouths moved slowly but urgently, and a groan escaped his lips when I reached for his neck and pulled him even closer. Our kissing slowed down, and he pulled back from me, his eyes swirling with purple light.
“I would gladly die right now and never regret a second of my life.” He laughed softly, and I echoed that sentiment. I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around him. I was so small compared to him that I only reached up to just below his chest, but I hugged him and squeezed as hard as Icould.
He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, his head resting on the top of my head.
“Just how hungry are you?” I asked with my nose buried in his shirt.
He shrugged. “Dinner is going to be a while. I put the meat in the stove hours ago, but forgot to turn it on.”
I laughed and freed myself of his hug.
“Let’s just lay here then and watch the snow outside,” I said and walked him over to the sofa. He climbed onto the couch first and I joined him there, sitting down next to him and pulling my legs up to my chest. His arm moved around me, and for a minute, he just stared at me.
“So… you know I have very little practical experience with… intimacy, don’t you?” he said quietly.
I reached out with my hand and stroked along the side of his face.
“There are no expectations tied to us being here together, Theo. We can go as slow as you want, it’s always your choice.”
