Lydia’s forehead wrinkled up. “It’s quite possible for the power to manifest in that way. If you weren’t using your power enough, it could have been building up inside you, poisoning you from the inside. You are the first mortal I know of that has ever been given this particular heka. I haven’t yet figured out why it had to be you, but I am sure the Fates had their reasons.”
Another puzzle piece clicked into place for me and yet it was still impossible to see the whole picture of why I was here.
“So do you think that the Fates made a mistake by giving the heka to a mortal like me? Maybe I am not strong enough to wield that power and that’s why I can’t do powerful spells?”
I held my breath while I waited for Lydia’s answer. If what I suspected was true, it could have devastating consequences for all of us, especially for Theo. I couldn’t bear to tell him that I was of no use to him, that I could not free us of this prophecy and that all of his hopes for the future were for naught because my stupid mortal body was too weak to wield my heka. Lydia contemplated my question and looked at me earnestly.
“I don’t know, is the honest answer. If you had asked methis question a few weeks ago, I would have told you that the Fates make no mistakes. Everything has a purpose. But now… I don’t know. We simply don’t know yet what you are actually capable of. That’s why we are here today. This river flows from high up in the holy mountains, legend says that’s where the Fates reside. So what better place to try out something new than here, where you are directly connected to the Fates?”
I appreciated Lydia’s optimism, but I was scared to try and fail, scared to find out that the Fates had indeed made a terrible mistake and had chosen the wrong person for the job. I was scared that my powers might have been powerful to begin with, but had withered and slowly died when I hadn’t used my heka. But there was no way around it, I had to find out for sure.
“Where do we start?”
Chapter 16
“You have used your heka for healing purposes mainly and while that’s admirable and certainly helpful, you will have to be able to access more of your power. Technically there is hardly any limit to what you can do. Your heka isn’t specialized to a certain area, like the magic of other beings. We are all-rounders, so to speak,” Lydia explained.
“You learned to control your magic by drawing and writing what you wanted, putting the things into words and pictures, which made it easier for you to achieve a certain task,” she summed up my experience in one sentence. “But you also told me that as a baby and very young child, it seemed like you always got what you wanted. So I assume that even before you knew how to steer your powers, you have been using them.”
I nodded, my mother had come to the same conclusion when she started teaching me about my heka.
“The thing that’s holding you back is not the lack of magic, but that you are channeling it all wrong. Writing the spells down helped you control it, but it also meant you never learned how to harness the magic and access its full power. So today, I want you to use your magic without a pen andpaper.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. Was she being serious? Was that something she believed I could do? I sighed and rubbed my temples.
“I don’t even know where to start. How am I supposed to know what to do?”
Lydia got up from where she was sitting on the boulder and carefully walked towards me.
“Let’s start by taking off your shoes and socks and by joining me in the river here.”
The water was ice-cold, but after a few minutes my feet were numb I couldn’t feel the cold anymore.
Lydia walked into the middle of the river and motioned me to turn my back towards the mountain and turn my gaze in the direction the water was flowing.
“Now, close your eyes and focus on my voice. The water at your feet is coming straight from the holy mountain. It carries the essence of life, for it replenishes the valley around us, pumping life into every tree and animal and insect around. Feel the water rushing past you, the strength and vitality behind it. Your magic is like that water, it was sent by the Fates and it’s running through you, pumping through your veins, responding to your will. It is your purpose to access this power, to decide where it’s flowing and to let it nurture you.”
Maybe it was pure imagination, but I felt my hands beginning to tingle. I could see the magic flowing through me before my inner eye, pooling in my stomach and flowing towards my arms and legs and heart.
“I can feel the magic,” I said quietly, as if the magic would disappear if I spooked it. “Good, the Fates are in touch withyou now. If it makes it easier for you, you can repeat those little sentences you used to write down for your spells in your head. Calling upon the Fates to help you use that magic. I want you to start with something easy. Choose a color and change the color of the water.”
I tried to clear my head. This was fine, nothing bad was going to happen. I was in control.
One breath. One act. One choice.
Do good. Stay clean. Hold steady.
I kept my eyes closed and my focus on the magic in my stomach.
“All right, I am ready.”
Taking a deep breath, I let my senses reach out around me. I heard the river swooshing by and the wind picking up. My palms were tingling, and I raised my arms up so my palms were facing the water. I knew it had worked the second I sent out the spell in my head.
“Fates, I call upon your age-old wisdom.
Turn the water in this river purple.
As I command, so it goes.”
