I stood up to leave and crawl into bed, but felt like I needed to apologize too.
“I am sorry for touching you. I had no idea how strict those rules were, I kind of assumed you were simply a snobbish asshole about the whole touching thing.”
Theo let out a low laugh. “Oh, I might be a snobbish asshole about many things, but not about this.”
As his laughter died, I added for good measure, “Again, I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, it wasn’t my intention.”
He sat up straight and looked deeply into my eyes.
“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, Mae, quite the opposite. And that’s the most worrying part.”
And I had to admit, the heat that crept up my cheeks when he looked at me had me worried too.
Chapter 15
The following two weeks consisted of me splitting up my time between practicing with my heka and getting in shape with a blade. The days were long, and Lydia was a ruthless teacher, but I finally started seeing some results. In between the physical activities, I also attended briefings with Auretheos, where he would tell me about one aspect of the God realm or give me new information about the latest attacks on remote villages. I learned about the Dreadshade Army and their powerful, but deadly gifts and the Gods he was in alliance with.
We hardly had any time to talk in private, because Theo made sure that we were never alone. There was either a sentinel watching over us or one of his friends and advisors joined us. Part of me was relieved that there was no awkwardness between us because we were never truly alone, but the other part of me missed talking to him and getting to know him as a person.
I attended several meetings with his sister and war master and learned about the strategic battle points and strongholds that were spaced out all over the Gods realm.
The change in my physique was the first thing I noticed. While I had been pale and pudgy a month ago, I now had puton some weight and built up muscles. My skin was tanned from being outside regularly and the ache in my muscles had lessened after each training session—although I still wasn’t able to gain the upper hand in any fight, at least I could defend myself long enough to not die instantly, should someone attack me.
My heka was quite another thing, progress was slow. I had managed to do quite a few simple spells and even setting spells into motion which came to pass a week later, but those spells had been very simple. Lydia assured me that I was doing just fine, considering that I had never had any formal training, but even I could see the doubt in her mind if I’d ever be ready to help Theo win the war that was coming.
For today, she had announced that we would take the next step in honing my powers. I had no idea what that meant, but got dressed in my workout clothes. Coming down the stairs, I was fidgeting with my hair and almost ran smack into Auretheos, who was coming round the corner. I spotted him at the very last second and stopped abruptly, instantly checking to see if I had accidentally touched him anywhere.
I let out a sigh of relief.
I was so close I could hear the beat of his heart. Or maybe it was mine, echoing in my own ears. He smelled divine, like ink on paper and soap. His eyes searched my face and the longing I saw in them nearly choked me. It would be so easy to reach out. To cover his cheek with my hand, to run my palms over his tense shoulders, to put my hand on his chest and ask if he was all right. It was hard to imagine that he had never known the comforting touch of his friends or lovers.
My family had always been an affectionate bunch, quick with hugs and kisses on the cheek. My parents showed itwith each other too, holding hands while they cooked or curling up together on the sofa in the evenings. I wanted to comfort Theo the same way, ease the tension in his shoulders and run my fingers through his thick hair.
“You look worried. Are you doing all right?” I asked softly.
He didn’t answer right away. His jaw clenched, then unclenched. Finally, he exhaled a slow, weary breath.
“I think war is coming sooner than we thought.” His voice was low, almost hoarse. “More attacks in the north. Entire villages wiped out. Heralds are demanding allegiance or blood. I keep trying to trace the orders back to someone, anyone, but it’s like they’re ghosts.”
He stopped, his voice cracking slightly. He was angry.
Silence stretched between us. I watched him, the storm in his eyes, the way his fingers flexed restlessly at his sides.
“If this were any normal day…” I said quietly, “and we were normal people… I’d hug you.”
That pulled his gaze to mine. His eyes softened, but his body stayed rigid, like he didn’t trust himself to move.
I took a shaky breath, heart hammering in my chest.
“I’d get up on my tiptoes, because you’re a giant, obviously.”
A small smile flickered at the corner of his mouth.
“And I’d wrap my arms around you, press my face to your chest, and squeeze as hard as I can. Which admittedly would probably feel more like a tickle to you because I am nothing but a weak little mortal.”
He opened his mouth, ready to protest, but then saw the teasing smile on my lips and let it go with a huff that wasn’t quite a laugh.
“And with that hug,” I said softly, “I’d take away some of the weight on your shoulders. I’d whisper that the darknesswon’t last. That we’ll find a way to stop the attacks. To make this right.”
