This moment, out of all the moments, is the very best moment.
Our tongues tangle, not dueling for dominance, just learning the lay of the land. Ezra’s got one hand on Bubba’s ass, the other slowly rubbing my head. I shaved in the shower this morning, so I know it’s super smooth for him. One of Bubba’s hands is on my neck, and the other is wedged between Ezra’s cheeks. For once, we’re connected. There’s no jealousy or bitterness, only truth. I like these men. I more than like them. And somehow, for some unknown reason, they seem to like me back. I want this. I want this so fuckin’ much it aches.
We kiss long after the cum’s been swallowed, existing in this tiny bubble, hidden away from the rest of the world. There ain’t a shred of clothing between us, and ain’t none of us ashamed. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe. I feel home. They need to know. I want to tell them.
“Bubba,” I say, breaking the kiss, my voice shaking but sure. “Ez.”
Ezra kisses my neck. “Yeah?”
“I think I figured it out.”
“What’s that?” Bubba asks, squeezing the back of my neck.
“Why my dick is broke. Why it couldn’t get hard for Annie.”
“Johnny,” Ezra says, shaking his head, blissed out of his goddamn mind. “You know the rule.”
“I know. No talking about our sexual history, but it’s important.” He rests his head on my shoulder looking like he might fall asleep at any second. “I tried to get hard for her, but I barely could. When I would finally get things going, I’d usually lose steam halfway through. Even pills didn’t help.” Ezra’s fingers dip between my cheeks pressing softly against my hole. When I look down at my cock, seeing it slowly swelling back to life, I chuckle. “My dick ain’t broke, it just ain’t had the right motivation.”
“What do you mean?” Bubba asks, but judging by the look in his eyes, I think he already knows the answer. He’s smiling so widely at me, I can practically see every tooth in his head. I pause, but he nods like he’s cheering me on.
“I’m gay.”
Ezra’s head whips up in my direction, and his eyes are wide as two moon pies. “You’re what?”
“I’m gay,” I repeat, but he just stands there staring at me in disbelief. “Is that okay?”
He blinks a few times before scowling at me. Sassy Ez is back. Good. I missed him. “What do you mean, is it okay? Why the hell wouldn’t it be okay?”
“You were just staring at me like I was stupid,” I say with a shrug. “I figured you were mad at me.”
“Well that’s just pure fucking stupidity on your part.” He presses his finger against my hole again. “I’m proud of you.” His lips touch mine, and it feels like he means it. Like he’s been here before and heknows how scary it is to figure this part out. I hope he don’t think I’m stupid for not figuring it out sooner.
“I should’ve known. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize.”
“I didn’t know either,” Bubba says. “I know I ain’t full-on gay, but I didn’t know I liked dudes until I was in my forties. Then again, I had women to anchor me. It must’ve been really confusing for you, Johnny Boy.”
“You knew, though. You must’ve known. Bubba, you know everything. Why didn’t you say something?”
“I did, baby. I told you that night we kissed.”
“You said I was bi. You said you thought I liked both.”
Bubba shrugs. “I heard you fuck Annie at the house, that time. I figured you were about a ninety-ten split in your attraction. Maybe I should’ve read the signs a little better. That’s my bad, Johnny Boy.”
“You kissed?” Ezra asks, and I close my eyes and sigh, because I really don’t want him to launch into one of his jealous tirades.
“Yeah,” I say, looking up at Bubba. “We kissed.”
Ezra turns around and looks up at Bubba. “Kiss him again. He just came out, and you’ve yet to even congratulate him. Bad Daddy. Naughty Daddy.” His cheeks burn red. “Johnny’s Daddy. Not mine.”
“Sure,” I say, but he turns and scowls at me.
“I’m trying to help you, asshole.”
Bubba snorts a laugh, then moves forward until he’s right in front of me. “I’m glad you finally figured it out.” His lips touch mine, sending a chill running down my spine. The kiss is gentle at first, but quickly deepens, and he rests a hand on my ass, kneading me like dough, grinding his cock against me. We let the kiss linger a while, but I start feeling bad, because Ezra’s right here, watching, with no one’sfocus on him. I reach blindly for him as I moan into Bubba’s mouth, and then Ezra’s fingers weave with mine and grips me tightly.
“So fucking hot,” Ezra breathes. His lips land on my neck, making me gasp. Giggling like a mischievous moron, Ezra pulls away, and Bubba and I break the kiss.
