He blushes. “What you were going to say the night you left. You said you’d tell us in the morning.”
“Johnny, I …” My heart races, and my palms feel a little sweatier than they did before.
“Ah, fuck,” he says, looking panicked. “I’m sorry, Little Dick. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It’s just, I’ve wanted to hear it so much. Since you said you were going to tell us, I’ve just been clinging on to knowing you’d say it when we finally—"
“I love you,” I blurt out. “Jesus, Johnny, of course I love you.” I’ve got a hand on each of their cheeks, and I’m stroking them with my thumb. “And I love you, too, Bubs. All my life, I’ve been looking for somewhere to belong. I’ve been looking for people to make me feel safe the way I’ve always hoped for. I’ve found it in both of you. I love you both.” Swallowing, I quickly add, “Do you love me too?”
“Oh, Ezzy,” Bubba says. “Do you have to ask?” The look he’s giving me tells me I don’t, but he has to know how much I want to ask it anyway, because Bubba’s head dips up and down like a seesaw. “Yes, Ezra. Yes, I love you.”
“I love you, too, Little Dick,” Johnny says, and it surprises me to find how much I’ve missed the nickname. It’s grossly inaccurate, but it’s mine, provided by him, so it’s something I treasure. Somethingworth cherishing. “I don’t think I realized how much until you were gone. What we did together in our bedroom—”
“When I fucked you up the butt, sir?”
He chortles. “Yeah. When you fucked me up the butt. I haven’t ever felt anything as close to perfect as that moment was. I made you a promise when you were fucking me raw.”
I scrunch my nose, trying to remember whatever promise he’s talking about. “You told me you would fall for me if I fall for you. I promised I was going to, and then you were gone. I missed you, Little Dick. I missed my boy.” I rest my forehead against his chest, and his arms wrap around me, holding me close. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”
We kiss, and the rest of the world fades away. There are no more horrible parents who never gave a damn. No more missing pieces in my heart, because those pieces are right here, wrapping me up in their arms.
“I like it here. I like it here a lot,” I say. “There’s not a lake like back at home, so that would suck for both of you, but there’s a pond. Surely there are fish to be fried beneath those treacherous muddy waters.”
“Fuck, you’re cute,” Bubba says, pinching my cheek.
I shrug. “I never know how to respond to that. I know I’m cute, Bubba. You’re just stating facts.”
“You ain’t got to respond to it,” Johnny says. “We like to remind you.”
I’m probably blushing, but who cares? This is Bubba and Johnny. They won’t shame me. “I like when you remind me. Try to remember to remind me all the time.”
“You’ve got it, pretty boy,” Johnny says. “With all the talk of loving it here, I’m guessing you were serious, then? About moving to Dunsberry?”
I nod. “I think so. I mean, we’ll have to get Satan’s Minion in check, but for the most part, it’s positively divine. We’ll need Wi-Fi though.”
“Baby, I don’t think Wi-Fi makes it this far outside the city limits.”
“Not my problem, it’s yours,” I sing-song teasingly. “You wanna eat my hole, so the things I hate are now yours to control.”
“I can’t lie, Ezzy.” Bubba says. “That wasn’t your best rhyme.”
I grab one of his beard hairs and tug with all my might, ripping it out of his face. “You’re my boyfriend. You’re supposed to support me, both emotionally, sexually, and financially. Be a good boyfriend!”
“Bad boy,” he pops my ass. “That hurt. Don’t pull my beard again.”
“But it’s so fun to pull!”
Bubba shrugs. “Find a new hobby. Now, listen, I want to be a good boyfriend, Ezzy. I’m trying my hardest, but I can’t just lie to save your feelings. It was a shit rhyme, and you put no thought into it. I can’t lie to you about poetry. I won’t.”
“Of course you can. Married couples do it all the time.”
“And did you see where that landed me last time? All the lies. Branded an absent father. Ridiculed by upstanding members of society.”
“For fuck’s sake, Jaden was eighteen when you split with his mom. He was already away at college. I don’t know why you always make it sound like you left for a pack of cigarettes and never came home, leaving Faith to raise a toddler alone.”
“Well, this is Jaden we’re talking about,” Johnny says. Point taken.
“Johnny,” I whisper, and the smile that touches his face is one of the prettiest smiles I’ve ever seen.
“Hey, Little Dick.”
