The little girl shakes her head, unwilling to look away from whatever the fuck is happening to me right now, but Ladonna gives her another stern glare and mouths something I can’t decipher, as I’m not trained in the art of lip reading. Whatever the words are, they’re enough to ignite a fire in Satan’s Minion to the point she’s bolting up and rushing down the small dirt road connecting all four homes, toward Pete’s place at the end of the property.
When it’s only her and I, and an adorable bluebird perched on the hanging feeder, Ladonna looks around like she’s seeking out eavesdroppers. I guess she’s happy with the result, because she gives herself a proud nod, then beams widely at me. “I’m not supposed to say anything. God knows Barbara will have my hide if she finds out, but I can’t stand to see you so miserable. The reason I can’t take you into town is because Barbara asked me to send Barrett on a trip. He’s on a mission that’s supposed to make your healingjourney—”
I shake my head. “I’m not talking about healing journeys with you again. Not after last time. You had me sobbing into a pillow.”
She nods. “I didn’t know you would be so sensitive to the subject of astral projection. I’m sorry to have mentioned it.”
“I feel stupid when I try, and it never works. I thought you said you wouldn’t mention it again. Especially after last time.”
“Sugar, it’s not your fault you were launched into a women’s changing room.”
“They all stared at me like I was a monster. I kept telling them it was okay, because I’m gay, but they called me a wolf in queer’s clothing, and then that lady with the curly hair pepper sprayed me. It hurt. I felt it through the dream. How dare you even suggest it in the first place?”
“All I’m saying is, Barbara wouldn’t shut up about it until I agreed. She ain’t talking to you, because I think she’s worried you know her so well, you’d be able to tell she’s up to something, so she’s been working through me. I’ll be honest with you, sugar, I didn’t ask for this gift, and I really don’t appreciate having it thrust upon me. Barbara’s nice and all, but sometimes she can be a real piece of work.”
“And that’s being generous,” I agree. “She’s the absolute worst, but I miss her terribly. What about Johnny and Bubba? Why won’t she tell me if they’re okay? I just want to know they’re safe.”
“They are,” she assures me. “Barbara says it’s all going according to plan, and I’m choosing to believe in her.” She cups my cheek. “She led me to you and Johnny. I know she can lead them back to us.” She chews her cheek, staring but not speaking.
“What?”
She swallows. “Sugar, I know it’s a sore subject, but can I ask about your parents?” It feels like my chest is caving in, and Ladonna must notice, because she takes my hand in hers and squeezes. “It’s okay if you can’t. I was just curious. You’re probably the most fascinatingperson I’ve ever met, and I just wanted to get to know you a little better. Barrett’s supposed to be finding them. I don’t know what happens after, but I know there’s a chance I’ll have to meet them, and I want the facts before I chew their heads off.”
I look at her, stupefied. “You would do that for me?”
She nods. “You’re family. Family sticks together, even if yours didn’t. Are you okay, baby? You don’t look real well. If you don’t want to talk about them, you don’t have to.”
I close my eyes and nod. “I’m fine. I just need a second.”
She squeezes my hand. “I lost my mother when I was just a little girl. We lived about five miles away, just over yonder.” She motions noncommittally to her left. “She died of a broken heart. My father, he wasn’t a well man, you see. My little brother, Jonathan, wasn’t like the rest of the boys around these parts. He was softer. More delicate. You remind me of him.”
“I do?”
She tweaks my nose. “You’ve both got that same sassy smile, like you’re better than the rest of us, and you know it.”
I shrug. “I just have a very high sense of self.”
“Well, one day, Jonathan was acting a little sassier than usual, and it got my daddy’s goat.”
“He did what to the family goat?”
Ladonna rolls her eyes. “It’s an expression. It means he pissed our father off like nothing else. They were out in the field, talking about something or another, and Daddy just lost it. He started swinging on him, punching and slapping and kicking on him. I ran over to try and stop it, but I wasn’t fast enough.”
“Jesus,” I whisper. “He killed him?”
She stares at me like I’m stupid. “Well, hell no, he didn’t kill him. Good grief, we may be hill folk, but we’re not savages. No, he kickedmy brother out. Packed up all his belongings, tossed them in the truck, and drove off with Jonathan and didn’t come back for two whole days. He went to his death refusing to tell us what happened out there. Granted, Momma didn’t give him much of a choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“When she asked Daddy to go get him and bring him home, he refused. She asked where he was, and he just laughed. She looked my daddy square in the eyes and told him if he didn’t tell her where Jonathan was, she’d smack him upside the head with a frying pan.”
My eyes widened. “What happened?”
Ladonna taps the tip of my nose. “She smacked him upside the head with a frying pan. I guess she smacked him a little too hard. After that, Me and my other brother buried Daddy out back. I was already engaged to my Neil, stars rest his soul, so I moved out shortly after it all happened. A little while later, Momma put a gun inside her mouth.”
“Jesus. Your story makes mine look like a Hallmark movie.”
“I don’t know what that is, sugar, but we all have struggles. That’s my whole point. I’ve been through something you don’t understand, just like I’m sure you’ve been through something I wouldn’t understand. I want to get to know you, Ezra. You make my boy happy, and that makes you family to me.”
