“This morning, I did a shit so huge I thought I’d broke my ass,” Wilder offered. He grinned like the devil, but there was a weariness under it, like humor was his favorite armor.Damn, my brother was trouble, but of the best kind.
“Christ, Wilder.” Shaking my head, I turned to leave. “You’re a fucking animal.”
I did my best not to laugh until I was in my office, because despite everything, the fire and losing Ariel, my shoulders felt a whole lot lighter.
When the door swung open I was surprised to see Nash again.
“What?” I asked. “Can’t stand being apart from me, now?”
He chuckled and closed the door behind him. “Just wanted to check on you.”
“Why? We just spoke out there.”
“I know, but I’ve got a sense that there’s something going on with you.” He pulled out a seat and sat down, running a hand through his already messy hair. “I know the fire took a lot from you, not just emotionally, but you seem restless.”
The creak of my chair as I shifted was the only sound as my brother waited for me to respond. Staring at me until I cracked.
“It’s about Cassidy,” I finally admitted.
My chest sank with relief that I was finally going to acknowledge my concerns. I’d thought if I didn’t voice them they wouldn’t exist, but what I wanted was too big to go into it lightly. It was a decision that I needed to be completely at ease with, even if Nash’s response wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“I thought things were good with you two?”
“They are. Incredible.”
“So what’s the problem?”
I slumped in my chair. “I want to ask her to move in with me. Into the house I’m going to be building, but our house beforethen. I know since the fire she’s practically moved in anyway, but I want to make it official.”
Nash shrugged. “If you want my approval then you’ve got it. If you want my consent then you don’t need it.”
My stomach clenched at the idea that all my dreams might not be ready for fruition. I wanted it all…now. I was impatient to start my future.
“What if it’s too fast? What if she’s not ready? What if?—”
“Gun,” Nash’s voice cut through my spiraling. “How long have you been together?”
“A few months.”
“And how long have you been in love with her?”
I thought about it. Really thought about it. “Probably since our first date to the restaurant at the farm.” I chuckled. “I mean I’ve been in lust with her for three years if that counts.”
“Yeah, your hate for each other was kinda like angry foreplay.” He rolled his eyes. “Which means you’re sure that this is what you want.”
“Dead sure.” The answer came without hesitation. “I can’t imagine my life without her anymore. Don’t want to.”
Nash leaned back in his chair, studying me. “Then what are you really afraid of?”
I was quiet for a long moment, trying to put words to the tangle of emotions in my chest. “What if it’s still too soon? What if she says yes but doesn’t really mean it? What if she’s just going along with it because things are good right now?”
“Didn’t you say you had this conversation a while back, right after the fire?”
“Well, yeah, but she might have changed her mind.” The possibility pressed heavily on my shoulders.
“She give you any indication that she has?”
“No.” My response was so positive I had to wonder why we were having this conversation.
