“Good ache or bad ache?” He was smiling now, that crooked grin that made my heart flutter.
“Definitely good.” I leaned in to kiss him softly. “The very best kind.”
Chapter 47
Rise Up – Andra Day
Gunner
The weather was getting warmer, but there was a breeze, which meant even a week after the fire, there was still a hint of smoke in the air. Things on the ranch were almost back to normal, not that it had ever stopped being busy, but the cloying depression everyone had been feeling was slowly ebbing away.
Gradually, we were healing, but if anything at all good had come from the fire in the stables, it was me and Cassidy. We were tight. Like the real deal, couldn’t stop grinning, couldn’t keep our hands off each other in love. She’d been my rock throughout it all, determined that we were going to push through it together. I’d never thought of myself as someone who needed much. A full day’s work, a few beers at the weekend and my family safe. That had always been enough.
But Cassidy?
Watching her trust me with her soft parts, with her whole damn heart...it wrecked me in the best way. I’d spent years beingthe one people leaned on; Nash, when he was heartbroken over Lily, and Wilder when he was too young to handle losing our mom. I’d forgotten what it felt like to be needed forme, not just my strength, but mysoftness, too.
Cassidy saw that in me. Shewantedthat in me.
And for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to keep moving. I wanted to stay still, right here, and build something real. Lasting.
With her. For me. For us.
She was standing next to me now, quiet as we watched Marcus Gruber and his crew wrap up their first day breaking ground on the new stables.
“I’m just glad that he was able to fit us in,” I said, wrapping an arm around her, pulling her closer. “The winter barn isn’t ideal.”
“How long is it going to take?” she asked. “Did he say?”
Nash, Wilder and I had agreed that the new stables should include everything we needed for the camp. Even if the camp ended up being delayed, which looked likely seeing as Nate Jenkins still hadn’t got back to us about a second meeting.
“A month, maybe six weeks. Depends, when his plumber is available.” Each stall was going to have its own faucet and water trough, plus we’d decided on the addition of the showers, like the illustrations that Cassidy had come up with. We were also adding a cool down area, double stables for mares and their foals and a damn walking machine of all things for rehabilitating horses. The sort of thing that would have been good for Ariel.
After a moment of heavy silence, Cassidy reached up on my tiptoes to kiss my cheek.
“I know you’re thinking about Ariel.”
I swallowed back the emotion, looking out toward the remnants of the stable. “Keep hearing her.” My voice was rough,barely above a whisper. “In my dreams, I keep hearing her call for me.”
“Oh, baby.” Cassidy hugged me tighter.
“The logical part of my brain knows she’s gone. Knows there was nothing I could do.” Exhaling, my whole body shuddered with the memory. “But the rest of me…the rest of me feels like I failed her. Like I broke the promise I made to Mom to take care of her.”
“But you did,” Cassidy’s voice broke as tears tracked down her cheeks.
I reached out a thumb to gently wipe them away, hating that my pain had become her pain, too. “Hey, sweetheart, don’t get upset, it’s going to be okay.”
“But I hate that you’re dealing with this. That you lost her.” Her chest heaved on a ragged sob as she leaned into me.
“Me too, but at least I had her for all those years,” I said, stroking her hair. “And it’ll get easier. Mom used to say let the bad go, a little bit each day until it’s light enough to throw away. And that’s what I’m going to do,” I kissed her softly, “with your help, if that’s okay.”
“Of course. Even when it’s heavy, you give some of it to me to carry.”
“I don’t want to burden you too much.” I winked at her. “You already have to deal with my huge di?—”
“Do not finish that sentence.” She gifted me with a beautiful smile, swiping away the last of her tears. “You are not a burden. That’s what love is, Gunner. Sharing the weight when it’s too much for one person.”
I studied her face, memorizing every single detail for eternity. “How did I get so lucky?”
