“It sounds like she was incredible and got you through so much.”
I nodded. “More than I realized. The hardest of days.”
My throat tightened as I remembered the day after Mom’s funeral, the day I did I let the strength ebb away and allow the grief to take over. Ariel had nickered softly when I appeared, pushing her velvety muzzle against my tear-stained cheek as if she understood. I’d buried my face in her mane and sobbed until I had nothing left, her steady heartbeat against my palm theonly thing keeping me anchored. She’d stood perfectly still, not flinching once, like she knew exactly what I needed. Just like Mom would have done.
“I’m going to rebuild in brick,” I told Cassidy, because that was what I needed. To focus. To put myself and the stables back together. “I thought I was doing the right thing, keeping it traditional, but look what happened.”
“Again, a tragic accident, but I agree it’s an opportunity for you to do something new and forward thinking. Tie it into the camp maybe?” She sounded unsure, like maybe she shouldn’t be mentioning it.
“We will,” I told her, steadfast in my promise. “We’ll build something great that people will talk about, will want to emulate, will be desperate for their horses to be trained at.”
“Good.” Cassidy gave me a sleepy smile and pursed her lips. “Kiss and then sleep.”
I gave her what she wanted because it was getting that I couldn’t deny her anything any longer. She was too defiant to let me anyways.
Unbelievably, once we got under the covers, I did sleep. For four whole hours I slept a heavy, dreamless sleep with my girl in my arms the whole time.
Chapter 46
Delicate – Taylor Swift
Cassidy
Three days after the fire, the ranch house was finally empty of well-meaning visitors. Not that they hadn’t been welcomed but I could see that Nash, Gunner and Wilder were feeling the strain of being hosts and being pleasant when all they wanted to do was move forward with the rebuild and find out how the fire started. Mrs. Wright had given Lily and me a leave of absence for a week after she found out about the fire, so I could stay close to Gunner. She’d been so supportive it had brought a lump to my throat; I wasn’t even aware that she knew about me and Gunner. The whole town had been nothing but brilliant, bringing food, offering shelter for the horses, manpower for the cleanup. Even Brad Jenkins had offered to help and his relationship with the Miller brothers wasn’t the best.
Everything was too quiet, though. The ranch, the stables, there was no humming, no chatter or laughter. Just the windslipping through the trees and the sound of Gunner’s breath, shallow and anxious.
Today, we were alone in the house. Wilder had gone to Telluride for a meet up with some old high school buddies while Nash had taken Lily, the kids and Dorcas to Denver for a couple of days. He wanted to get them away from all the misery for a while, particularly as Bertie kept going over to Ariel’s grave and bursting into tears. Gunner had buried her under a Gambel oak tree in a pasture on the far side of the winter barn. Her favorite spot apparently. He’d insisted on digging the grave himself with an excavator that Calvin had arranged, and only allowed Nash, Gunner and Mikey to help take her there because he couldn’t manage it on his own. The sight of him on the back of a trailer with his hand stroking her covered body had been horrific and heartbreaking.
Each day since he’d seemed a little brighter, but there was still a heaviness to his shoulders, a stoop to his normally ramrod straight posture. A dimness in his beautiful chocolate pools that I wasn’t sure would ever leave. Especially as he didn’t want to talk about Ariel and the fire but keep the agony inside. He’d even ripped off the bandage on his hand, arguing that all it needed was fresh air. I was desperate to help him and was just grateful that he wasn’t shutting me out and had agreed to a lazy day. Most of the cleanup was done and as soon as she heard what had happened, Tally said yes to the job and offered to man the office for the day, reading all the training records to get up to speed. It had taken a lot of persuasion, but Gunner had finally agreed, on the promise that she called him if necessary.
He had now gone missing, though, and I had a sneaking suspicion he was answering emails.
“Babe, where are you?” I called to no response as I padded through the house. The kitchen was empty and silent, but for the sound of the clothes being washed in the laundry. Toys werepiled inside Billy’s playpen and Bertie’s reading book was on the table making me smile. Devastation was outside yet inside all seemed normal. Life carried on. The beauty of this family was pulling together through adversity and the more time I spent with them, the more I wanted to be a part of it.
It was as I pondered the future that I heard a sound up the stairs, so headed that way.
I found Gunner in the shower, water pounding against his skin like rain on steel. His massive frame was hunched slightly, hands braced against the tile, muscles coiled with barely leashed tension. He needed me and I needed him, so I undressed quickly and quietly. He didn’t turn when I stepped into the steam, just let out a breath that was more growl than sigh.
“I’m not good company right now,” he rasped, his voice hollow as it echoed off the white tile.
“I don’t want good company,” I said softly, my body already aching. “I wantyou.”
When he turned, the look in his eyes nearly dropped me to my knees.
No softness. No hesitation.
Just dark, rawhunger.
“You sure? Because I’m not in the mood to be gentle today, sweetheart.”
I stared him dead in the eye. Determined. “Absolutely certain.”
He stalked toward me like a predator, and I didn’t flinch. Ioffered. My body, my trust, my everything.
He backed me into the cold tile, his hands already on my wrists, slamming them above my head.
“This what you want?” he growled, voice tight with restraint. “Because I’m about to ruin you.”
