Heavy – Linkin Park ft. Kiiara
Gunner
In the Uber on the way back to the ranch, I held Cassidy’s hand trying to convey my regret without words. Words would be used when we were alone. Her head lolled against my shoulder as she slept for the greatest part of the journey, only stirring once we pulled up in front of the house.
“Sweetheart.” I gave her a gentle shrug. “We’re home.”
Stirring, she yawned and rubbed her eyes. “The ranch?”
“Yeah, the ranch.” Despite what I’d said at the hospital, I didn’t want to be far from her. “Let’s get inside.”
The three of us stepped out into the cool early morning. It was still dark with a faint hint of the moon through the clouds, and the smell of smoke lingering on the breeze. My whole body shivered as I trained my eyes on the house, not wanting to glance in the direction of my beloved stables. I didn’t want to see any of the devastation or think about Ariel’s body being there, alone in the dark, charred remains of what should have been her safe place. A familiar whicker caught my attention, and I gasped,thinking for a moment it was her. I heard it again, daring me to look in the direction of the temporary paddock, I realized who it was. Dream Maker stood at the fence, ears pricked forward, watching us. The rescued racehorse who’d once been so skittish, so mistrusting of humans, pawed at the ground as if impatient for my attention. I took a step toward him but at the last moment lost my nerve and stood, still as a statue, watching him. His head went up and he called out to me, as if telling me that he understood my reluctance, but everything would be okay. Something in his gentle acceptance broke through the numbness. This was why I did this, not just for the ghosts of horses past, but for the ones who still needed me. Dream Maker held the promise that not everything was lost.
Nash slapped a hand on my back, clearing his throat. “Come on, let’s get inside.”
We hadn’t even reached the bottom step of the porch before the door was pulled open and Lily came barreling out and threw herself at my brother. They didn’t speak but she just clung on, her arms and legs tight around him as he brushed a hand down her long, blonde hair. It felt wrong watching their private moment of relief and love, so I guided Cassidy past them and up into the house.
The light was on in the lounge, so I walked us there knowing that I needed to thank Calvin for the help of his men and for Ella for supporting Lily in the long wait. The warmth from the fire and the glow of the lamp was comforting after the sterile harshness of the hospital. Instantly the noise in my head quietened, if only a little.
Home.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Ella gasped, rushing forward. “We were so worried about you both.” Giving her a one-armed hug, I kept a tight hold of Cassidy who I could feel flagging at my side.
“Calvin, thank you, for the offer of your men.”
The older man shook his head. “It’s the least I can do.” He cleared his throat. “I arranged for Markus Gruber to get his excavator over here to dig the grave.”
We were ranch men, we worked long hours in hard conditions, were used to losing animals, accustomed to having to euthanize or rehome our horses when they retired, but the look in Calvin’s eyes was something I’d never seen before. It was sympathy and sorrow.
“If you tell me where you want her to be buried, I’ll personally see to it first thing.”
Glancing at the clock on the mantel, I shook my head. “You’ve done enough, Cal. Thank you, but I’ll do it. It’s four a.m., you guys should get some sleep for a few hours.”
“We’re staying over and I’m going to help you whenever you’re ready.” There was no trucking with him that was clear, so I nodded.
“You look out on your feet, honey,” Ella said, cupping Cassidy’s cheek. “You both do. Why don’t you go up? Give me the bag of clothes and drop what you’re wearing outside the door. I'll get them laundered for you.”
Bed did sound good, if only so I could be alone with Cassidy and hold her, because I wasn’t sure I would sleep. There were too many images flashing around my brain.
“You okay with that, sweetheart?” I asked the tiny brunette at my side.
“Yes, I think I could sleep for a little while. We need to help with the cleanup, though.”
“You don’t.” No way was she getting out of my bed until she’d had a good eight hours of sleep. “There are plenty of people to help out.”
There was that determined jut of her chin again, and I managed a small smile despite the darkness surrounding me.
“Okay, but first you need some sleep. We both do.”
Those eyes, the color of Macallan, told me that she knew it was unlikely that either of us would rest easy, but she nodded anyway.
A noise in the hallway took our attention and as we turned Nash walked in with Lily still clinging to him like a baby monkey.
“Oh Nash,” Ella whispered, propelling herself toward him and wrapped him and her daughter in an embrace.
“Hey, Ella. Thanks for coming over.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else but with my baby and my grandbabies.”
