“No way.” A man’s arm came around my waist, clasping me tight against their body.
“I need to find him.”
“Let me go you fucker.” Wilder clearly had the same idea as me.
I continued to fight to get free when I heard Wilder scream out a curse. Dread snaked itself into my blood making it as cold as ice as I whipped my gaze back to the stable. I thought I would pass out with relief as Nash and Gunner stumbled out of the cloud, blackened by the smoke, coughing and spluttering as they held onto each other.
Wilder and I ran to them both reaching them at the same time and dragging them into our arms.
“Baby,” I sobbed. “Are you okay?” Gunner bent over, his hands on his knees as he retched and hacked. I gasped when Isaw the palm of his right hand, the skin angry and blistered. He held it slightly away from his body, a reflex against the pain that must have been excruciating even through the shock and grief.
“You fucking idiots,” Wilder yelled. “How could you?” He had his hand on Nash’s back as he bent at his middle, too. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Ariel.” Gunner sounded like he was sobbing, as I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. “Mom. Ariel.” It wasn’t just Ariel. It was his mom. It was every memory he still held onto like it could keep her close. Losing Ariel must have been like losing the piece of her he could still touch.
He sank to the floor, like his legs couldn’t hold him any longer, like they were made of cooked noodles. I went down with him, gathering him into my arms as he wept for his lost horse. For his mom. Over Gunner’s shoulder, I could see Nash was leaning heavily against Wilder, his breathing labored and a nasty gash running across his forehead. His eyes met mine briefly, filled with pain and something else—guilt, maybe, that they couldn’t save Ariel. He gave me a small nod before dropping his gaze back to his brother who was quietly sobbing in my arms.
Around us, the ranch hands had fallen quiet, the only sounds were the distant hiss of water on flames and Gunner’s ragged breathing. Everyone’s expressions were a mixture of shock and solemn respect. Mikey pulled his hat from his head and held it against his chest, while others averted their eyes from their boss’s rare display of vulnerability. These men who’d seen Gunner as unshakable were witnessing the depth of what Ariel had meant to him. I did all I could do and let him cling to me.
I had no idea how long we were there, but someone eventually put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle shake.
“Miss, we need to get him to the hospital. He’s probably inhaled a lot of smoke.”
I turned to see an EMT looking cautiously at Gunner. To my left I saw Wilder move to one side to let another take a look at Nash. When I tried to pull away, Gunner clung tighter to me.
“Baby, you need to let me go. You have to go to the hospital.”
“Ariel,” he whispered, tears tracking through the grime on his face. “I couldn’t save her, Cassidy.”
His normally bright, happy eyes were full of pain and grief, and I felt it in my own bones, wondering if he’d ever fully recover from what he’d lost tonight.
“I know, baby, I know.” I stroked his face, hoping it was giving him some comfort but not sure it was or could.
The EMT gently eased his arm under Gunner’s shoulder. “Sir, we need to get you up now.” Gunner’s legs trembled as he tried to stand, and I slipped my arm around his waist, feeling him lean into me as if his usual strength had been consumed by the fire along with everything else. Each step toward the rig seemed to cost him, his body suddenly heavy with exhaustion and grief.
“Go with them,” Wilder said. “I’ll go and talk to Lily and then come back here to check on everything.” His tone was commanding, no nonsense and not to be questioned, so I nodded and got into the back with Gunner and Nash, desperately clinging onto the hope that Gunner had only lost his beloved horse in all the ruin of the night. As the rig doors closed behind us, I looked at Gunner’s ash-streaked face and swore silently to myself that whatever came next, the physical recovery, the rebuilding, the grief, I wouldn’t let him face it alone. Some losses cut deeper than others, and I recognized the wound of this one. It wasn’t just a horse he’d lost tonight, but a piece of his past, a connection to his mother that could never be replaced.
Chapter 44
Fix You - Coldplay
Gunner
The antiseptic smell of the hospital couldn’t mask the pungent scent of smoke that seemed to have seeped into my skin. It clung to my clothes and hair, a bitter reminder of the night’s devastation and pain. Each breath felt like sandpaper against my raw throat, and my muscles ached with the bone-deep fatigue that came from pushing past every limit. The bandage on my hand felt too tight, too clean against skin that still seemed to burn with phantom heat. My clothes, some dark blue scrubs, scratched against my skin, a constant reminder that everything familiar had been stripped away in the inferno.
The nurse who’d dressed my burn, told me she was gone to get some pain killers. Not sure how a couple of pills could ease the agony in my damn chest, though. It wasn’t just the torture of losing Ariel, it was how she died, in pain and terrified. There was fear and sadness in her eyes, like she knew we were about to be parted. All those years of being buddies were over. Thatconnection to mom was gone and my soul felt bleak, with jagged pieces of pain stabbing, tearing raggedly at my skin.
“Hey.”
The soft voice drew my gaze from the tiled floor. It was Cassidy. My fingers gripped the edge of the gurney, my knuckles going white.
“You should go home and get some sleep,” I told her. The words felt bitter on my tongue, bitter and dry, yet there was nothing inside me that wanted to change them. I didn’t have the energy to pretend that I felt okay and that everything would be alright.
“Not going anywhere,” she told me, pushing her hands into the hoody she was wearing. I hadn’t seen it before so figured someone from the hospital must have given it to her.
“I can get a lift home with Nash.” Turning from her I looked at the eye chart on the wall not able to meet her gaze, the woman I was in love with. Yep, there was no denying it no matter how much I tried to tell myself, and her, that I was still only falling I was completely gone. Even knowing that I still couldn’t look at her or find the words, so I carried on reading the mix of letters and numbers.
I’d reached the third line from the bottom when she finally spoke.
