Once inside, she threw her purse onto the sofa and then lifted each foot in turn to pull off a pair of ridiculous shoes. I hadn’t noticed them before, but they were sky high and bright red to match her short-sleeved sweater, lips and nail polish.
Fuck she was sexy. Weren’t redheads supposed to avoid red? It would be a sin if she ever did because she looked incredible wearing it.
Standing in front of the log burner, she turned and with hands on hips pinned me with a glare, the fire casting dancing shadows across her face. Her cheeks flushed pink, competing with the angry red of her sweater.
“Well?”
“I had to see you. To speak to you.” My heart was hammering too fast for a man who wasn’t scared of Mountain Lions or Wolves. A man who didn’t want commitment or serious.
“What about? I thought that we’d said everything.” She scoffed. “Actually, you’re right you didn’t say much at all, just that you had a lot going on.” Rolling her eyes so hard I thought she might have broken them; she took a step closer. “I will not be toyed with, Wilder.”
I shook my head. “Don’t want to do that, Brownie.”
Her breath caught and I saw a hint of softness on her lips as they became less narrow. Not so thin.
“What do you want? Because I’m confused and I don’t have enough hours in the day to be dealing with another man who thinks I’m worthless.”
That hit me hard. Like she’d punched me. It took the air from my stomach. “Do not compare me to him,” I said, low and deep. “I do not think you’re worthless. The exact opposite.”
Her soon to be ex-husband was a dickweed and I was nothing like him. I would never treat her the way he had. Letting her think she should be more, should be better. No fucking chance.
“Okay,” she said, her shoulders dropping a little, “tell me what you want, why you dragged me from girl’s night.”
The last couple of days moping, second guessing my feelings had come down to this. To me finally opening-up and loosening the knot that was permanently tied up in the middle of my stomach. That had been there since my mom passed.
“I’ve been an ass, Brownie,” I confessed. “Running scared when I should have been honest with you.”
Chewing on her bottom lip, her hands dropping to her sides, I finally felt like she was ready to listen. Ready to hear me. That I, too, was ready for my truth.
“Honest how?”
A log dropped in the fire, sparks flying up the chimney and the scent of burning cedar filled the room. It took Tally’s attention and in that short pause I gained the courage to take a step closer. When her gaze came back to mine, she startled, her hand coming to her throat. A blush creeping up from beneath the rounded neck of her sweater.
“Honest in that I can’t stay away from you. Honest in that I don’t want us to be just sex any longer. Honest in that the idea of you with anyone else makes me want to puke. Honest in admitting that I didn’t know I was lonely until you made me feel found.” Another step closer, I lifted my hand and cupped her face, needing her to see the certainty in my eyes. “Honestly, Brownie, I don’t know whether I’d be any good at this relationship stuff, but I want to try with you. I want us to date. I don’t want to sneak around any longer. I want to stay over and not worry about being caught tiptoeing up the stairs to my room.” Lacing my fingers through her hair, I dropped my forehead to hers. “I don’t want to have to let go of you at night if I don’t want to. I don’t want to have to leave you here when you’re drunk or sick or just plain sad. I want to be able to dance with you just because a song we like comes on the radio. I mean you scare the hell out of me, but that’s because I’ve never wanted to keep someone this much.”
A small gasp drew from her lips, and it took everything in me not to kiss them. To kiss her into submission, until she agreed with everything I wanted.
“Are you sure?” Her voice was small and timid, nothing like the Tallulah Brown that I knew. My stomach rolled with hatred for causing her insecurity.
“More than anything,” I confirmed. “I guess it’s up to you whether I get to show you how great I can be at the whole dating thing.”
A small smile whispered, and I felt the knot loosen a little bit more.
“Don’t ever lie to me, cheat or try to make me feel less.”
Anticipation fired in my veins. Anticipation. Excitement. Fear.
“I’ll only ever lie to protect you, you know like telling you Downtown is closed for the night if I know there’s a bachelor party in there.” That earned me another eye roll. “Why would I cheat when I have you? And if I ever felt an attraction to someone else where I’d consider it, well, then I’d talk to you first.” I shook my head. “But that won’t happen. As for making you feel less, never. I like you for who you are, Brownie. I want to be with you because you’re incredible. I would never make you feel less because you…you’re everything.”
My thumb traced her cheekbone, her skin soft and warm under my touch. I could feel her pulse racing, and I hoped she knew that they weren’t the kind of words I usually used. I could sweet talk a girl like any guy, but never had I been so honest with my true feelings. I could tell a girl she was pretty, she had great taste in clothes, that I liked her laugh, and mean it, but with Brownie my truth was laying myself bare and giving her everything that came from deep in my soul.
She must have seen it because her mouth smashed to mine and arms curled around my waist, and she clung on. Like I was her buoy in a storm. It might have been her who initiated it, but I took control, and I changed it to slow and tender.
Tonight wasn’t about acting on hormones or desperation. Tonight was about starting something real that was based on feelings and not actions.
The pre-dawn light was creeping through the shutters when I woke, Tally’s hair in my mouth and pins and needles in my arm where she lay on it. I should’ve moved, shaken them out, but I didn’t want to wake her.
Instead, I lay there like an idiot, staring at her, counting her freckles like I always did, just in case a new one had appeared. Because I needed to memorize everything about this woman. I wanted to know every inch of her.
