Corbin was to the point.
“I can’t move on. Will…he was my world. When I married him on that beach in Puerto Rico, I meant what I vowed. It would be him untilthe day I died. Notthe dayhe died.”
Gene was gentle.
And he tried again.
“Corby, we all mean the vows. Only, fate has other plans. It’s okay to move on, especially after fifteen plus years. I knew Will well. He wouldn’t want you living in this frozen state. He’d want you alive and thriving. If you died, would you want Will suffering like this?”
He shook his head.
“I wish it was me. Then, I could not suffer like this. I’m tired,” he said, for the second time. “I’ve had to fight this for so long. There are moments where I wish I never met Will, and I hate myself for it. Then, I wouldn’t know this pain. It’s overwhelming.”
Everyone had sympathy for Corbin.
It was clear he was struggling.
“So you don’t date or…?” Elizabeth asked.
He laughed sardonically.
“I mean, I’ll meet someone and have sex, but it’s with no attachment. Then, I hate myself for that too. It’s one big circle of hate for myself.”
Gene had to point something out.
“Alex is straight, as far as we know, so it shouldn’t be this hard for you to be around him.”
Oh, Corbin was aware.
But it was.
There was something about him that now that he’d seen it, he couldn’t ignore it.
The scent of Will’s cologne was the final straw.
Yeah, he was sexually attracted to a straight man, but he was so scared there was more.
Not only because Alex wasn’t gay, but because he was getting over Will’s death, and he’d promised that he’d love him forever.
How did he break that promise to his dead husband when his heart was finally opening?
A vow was a vow to him.
His mother was still faithful to John, even though he’d been gone for years now, too.
“Well, it is,” he said. “It’s damn difficult to be around him. It just suddenly turned on, and now, I can’t turn it off. I don’t know how to do this. I haven’t felt shit in so long, and now, I do. I can’t breathe anymore,” he admitted.
Oh, Jesus.
That wasn’t good.
Elizabeth had a solution.
“We’ll switch up the teams. You can work with Duke, and Axl and Alex can partner up. They work well together, and Duke is very much a decent guy who will understand. He’ll help you through this.”
There was relief, but also regret. He knew that he and Alex clicked as partners. There was a good team there. Now, it was his fault he was closing that down.
Still, Corbin was grateful that she was offering him that, when she absolutely didn’t need to.
