Now that she’d said what she’d said, he didn’t know how to process that.
Not.
At.
All.
The bottom line was that Duke loved his kids. He loved them more than anything in the whole fucking world, next to his sister and mom.
To hear her say that, like the girls were a burden…
Yeah, no.
He’d never let her say that to them. That’s the kind of shit that destroyed children.
“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before we had Charlotte.”
She was honest.
“YOUagreed to take Abby in. Remember when you told me she’d go to foster care? I told you then, Duke, that I’m not mother material. Instead of hearing what I said, you insisted, and we became parents. Then, you left to go help Elizabeth with Wyler, and left me here to be the mother.”
Huh?
“Uh, because you are the mother.”
Axelle was annoyed.
This wasNOTthe life she wanted.
It wasn’t even close.
“To one of them, yes. Abby is sweet, and I love her, but she’s not my child, Duke. Charlotte is my child, and I’m really trying to be a mom to her. Put them both together, and it’s way too much for me. Yes, I made Charlotte, but Abby…I have no maternal feelings toward her at all. I’ve tried, and I can’t manage it.”
Fuck.
No.
“She’s our daughter.”
Axelle stopped him.
“No, Duke. She’s your brother’s child. You took her out of familial obligation, and that’s how I feel. I still would die for her, but it’s not the same for me. I grew up with a mother who wasn’t maternal, and I know how this ends. Trying to force someone to be a mother doesn’t end well.”
Now, he was spiraling.
This was wrong.
Axelle continued.
“So, I don’t need to have joint custody of our kids while you’re out in Damascus. When you come home, we’ll discuss it, but things aren’t as rosy as you think. Our marriage was better before kids.”
Oh, he was aware.
This conversation was proof of that.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
“I’m saying that when you get back, we should talk about this. I don’t think I can be a full-time mom. If you want my complete candor, I like you being there with the girls. Seeing them by video call is plenty for me right now. I’m down my director, and I’m holding the FBI together. It’s not been easy either. Toss in kids, and it’s too much.”
