The line goes silent for a heartbeat and then I hear him take a breath."From the sounds of it, not you," he says.
"Nope."
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Cordelia Shanks."
He sighs, sounding exasperated."Well, Cordelia Shanks, I don't need whatever you're selling, unless it's cookies.I'm Buddhist.And my Jeep is older than Lucifer so I don't have or need an extended warranty, either.And if you're calling to scam me, don't."
"I'm not selling anything or scamming anyone," I say."Wait.Are you really a Buddhist?"
"Depends on if you're calling to spread the good word about our Lord and Savior," he growls."Because I don't have the time for it."
"I'm not."
"Then no."
"Oh.Then why Buddhism?Why not go withI'm a Satanist?"
"I'm trying to get off the phone, not have every church from here to Oregon calling me," he says."Or showing up at my damn door."
"Good point.I didn't think about that."
"I'm hanging up now.Do me a favor and don't call back."
"Wait!Hire me first."
Oh, good grief.That is not what I meant to say.
"Hire you?I don't even know you.Why in the hell would I hire you?"
"Your ad," I blurt, talking fast to keep him from hanging up on me.He's awful cranky.Are all mountain men grumpy, or did I just win the lottery?I probably just won the lottery.A real-life, grumpy mountain man.The girls are going to love this.I'm not so sure I'm going to love this, though.I'm the opposite of grumpy."You need a personal assistant for two weeks, and I'm the answer to your prayers, Mr.Mountain Man, sir.The Shanks Agency—that's me, by the way—is capable of handling all of your needs.I'm hardworking, a self-starter, and I require very little supervision.You tell me what you need, and you'll get it."
"Say that again," he growls, his voice rougher.
"Um, which part?"
"What you called me."
"Oh.Mr.Mountain Man, sir?"I repeat, my brows furrowed."Your ad didn't have a name attached.I'm not sure exactly what your job title is.I tried to look it up, but the internet wasn't very helpful, sir.There aren't very many mountain men left, apparently."
"Fuck," he rumbles, only it sounds more like a groan."Deacon."
"What?"
"My name is Deacon, Cordelia."
"Deacon," I repeat, testing it out.It's an interesting name.Kind of…sexy.
"Jesus Christ," he growls.Does he ever speak normally or does everything he say come out in that same grumpy, growly tone?"Do you even know what an assistant for a mountain man does, Sunshine?"
"No," I say slowly."But I didn't know what a paranormal adventure tour guide did either until I was crawling through tunnels under Seattle.I learn quickly, Mr.Deacon, and I'd really like to help you."
Please say yes so I don't have to tell the girls my master plan fell through.I can't be the ringleader and the failure!
"Deacon," he growls."It's just Deacon."
"Okay, then.I'd really like to help you, Deacon."I pause."I can send my resume and references."
