Cord picks up each shattered piece, putting me back together with his rough hands and the hard press of his body against mine.With his breath in my ear and his lips against my skin.He shelters me, protects me, roots me to earth while the rest of me flies.
When I open my eyes, he smiles down at me, brushing sweaty strands of hair back from my face."There you are," he says, nudging his nose against mine as his lips trail across my cheek.He kisses the corner of my mouth, hooking my leg up over his hip again.
We groan together as he pushes his way inside me, impaling me on him.He's so deep I feel the tip of his erection against my cervix.I dance a razor's edge between pleasure and pain.It's the most incredible feeling.
"Pretty baby," he groans, his big body trembling above mine."Say it again."
"I love you, Cord," I whisper, tears in my eyes."I love you."
He cries out my name, my words unraveling his self-control.His eyes meet mine, his expression raw with need.It might be my imagination, but I think his eyes are damp too.
Powerful thrusts send me inching up the bed.It groans and rocks beneath us, the headboard thumping against the wall.He kisses me again and again, as if he can't stop himself.Each delightful, wicked thrust has me crying out his name, clawing down his back…pleading for him to go harder.
He demands that I tell him I love him over and over again.The words break from my lips in loud cries.They fill the room, echoing back to us.Every time I say them, he holds me tighter, fucks me harder.He roars my name until his sounds fill the room too.I'm completely surrounded by him, drowning in him…and I don't ever want to come up for air.
He's a machine, fucking me from one orgasm to the next.He doesn't let up until I'm wrecked beneath him, pleading for mercy.Only then does he slow his pace.His lips seek mine, his heart pounding against my chest.We're wrapped so tightly around one another it's as if we've become one person.
"Pretty, pretty baby," he breathes, kissing me slow and sweet.He makes love to me the same way this time.Slowly.Sweetly.
When I cry out his name and come for him this time, he follows me over.He thrusts deep and stills, groaning my name.I hold him tightly, writhing as he comes apart for me with his head thrown back and his bottom lip caught between his teeth.He looks exactly like he did in my fantasies…only somehow even better.That was a dream, wishful thinking.This is real.
"I love you," I whisper when he falls limp.
"Cassia," he breathes, rolling to the side to keep from crushing me.He pulls me up against him, wrapping his arms around me.His lips brush my forehead before his head settles against my shoulder.
I wait for him to say it back…but he doesn't.
He drifts off to sleep, curled around me like a living blanket.
Then and only then do I realize that he never said it.He demanded I say it over and over again…but he didn't say it back.Not even once.
Does…does he not feel the same way?
A thousand doubts rush in all at once, knocking chinks in my armor.My mom's voice, the vitriol I've tried to block out for most of my life, rushes through those chinks like an evil wind, tainting everything.
Don't be so naïve, Cassiopeia.Real life isn’t a fairytale.
Men don't fall in love with mouthy women, Cassiopeia.
I don't want to believe her.I don't.But…he didn't say it back.
Why didn't he say it back?He said he wants me.That I make this place come alive for him.That I'm beautiful.But he never said one word about how I makehimfeel.
No one will ever love you the way you are, daughter.
Tears slip from the corners of my eyes, making silent tracks down my cheeks.I'm not sure what hurts worse.The fact that maybe my mom was right after all…or the fact that I think I still would have given Cord my heart anyway.Even knowing that he doesn't love me back, I still wouldn't have changed a single moment of the last few days.
But I can't stay here anymore.I don't want my last memory of him to be of him telling me goodbye.I don't want to have to hear him say the words that shatter me.If I have to spend the rest of my life without him, I want my last memory of him to be of tonight.Of him making love to me.Maybe that way, when I'm old and gray and dying alone, I can pretend for just a minute that he loved me too.I can pretend that, for once, I knew real love.
ChapterTen
CORD
"Cam!"I shout, stomping across the resort toward my brother.
He lifts his head from the bags in his hands, meeting my gaze.I don't even ask whose shit he's carrying.I'm guessing it belongs to Cassia's friend, Paige.She's been camping on his property the last few days.His pale green eyes seem lighter than they have in a long time.
I'm guessing I have Cassia's friend to thank for that.I know a man in love when I see one, and my brother has the same look on his face that I see every damn time I look in the mirror.It looks good on him.
