Blaze stops a few steps in and looks at me. “This is what I was talking about. I know this shit isn’t on you, but it’s been less than a fucking day, Axel.” With that, they leave, and everyone starts to disperse.
Squatting down, I look into Sapphire’s bloodshot eyes. The blood has stopped running from her nose but is now matted all down the front of her body. Her eyes are empty. The fun, crazy girl looking for a good time who came to the clubhouse a year ago isn’t there anymore. I feel bad for her—she is so desperate for attention that she will do anything for it. I should have found out what was wrong when I started to see a change in her. But fuck, this isn’t my job, and I have so much other shit to focus on.
“Pack your shit and get out of the clubhouse.” It’s the only option. Her eyebrows shoot to her hairline.
“What?” she asks with disbelief.
“You’re done. You knew I was with Jenna, and you chose to fuck with it. I know you have some shit going on, but this is inexcusable.”
Her eyes well up with tears, but she nods. Standing up, I turn to see Bear. “Help her get her shit and see she has a place to stay. See what you can find out about what shit she is into. We can maybe get her some help.”
I turn and walk into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. With my back pressed against the door, I feel a twisting in my chest and a rage I need to set free. Pushing off thedoor, I get dressed for a ride. My heart is beating so fast all I feel is the quick, rapid thuds in my ears.
Everywhere I look, I see Jenna. Her clothes are strewn around from the night before, her pink suitcase is open in the middle of the floor, and the bathroom counter has her products. I know that by the time I come back, it will all be gone—a memory. How can things go so wrong in a matter of minutes? I slam my fist against the wall, over and over, until my knuckles bleed and I see nothing but red.
As much as I want to go find her and drag her back here, I wonder if this might actually be the best thing for us. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was too good for me and this life. Maybe we just needed to be reminded of that.
I take off for my bike, the only one I can trust to not walk away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
jenna
PRESENT DAY
I idleat the last red light before my apartment and feel my car start to shake and make a disturbingly loud grumbling noise… again.
“No, no, no, no please don’t give up on me now!” I say to the car, slouching back into the seat and wrapping my hands around the steering wheel. After my car was practically totaled at Tipsy, I needed to buy another car, but on a teacher’s salary, I can’t afford something new. My cousin Mark has been trying to sell his older compact SUV, and when I asked if it was still available, he gave me a great deal. The only downside is that something is wrong with it, and he definitely forgot to mention that when I bought it. I’ve taken it to two different mechanics, and each one said that it’s probably cheaper to get rid of it altogether and buy a new car; everything needs replacing. But I refuse to do that—I’m going to drive this thing until the wheels fall off.
Easing my foot down on the gas as the light turns green, the car slowly creeps forward, making a new horrendous grinding noise.
Ugh. That can’t be good.
Fortunately, I make it to my apartment and internally do a happy dance. The car has lived to see another day! Opening thecar door and stepping out onto the ice-covered sidewalk, I hold onto the car door handle for support. Snow covers the ground, and the slick ice makes the trek to my front door especially annoying. I gingerly place one foot in front of the other, hoping I don’t slip and give my neighbors another free show of my clumsiest-woman-ever performance. Last week, I slipped and my feet flew out from under me, sending me backward onto a sheet of ice. When I finally caught my breath enough to stand, I looked up to see not one set of neighbors but three looking out their windows at me with amusement.
Once inside my apartment, I flip on the lights and rush to the thermostat to turn up the heater. Ever since Marley and Blaze moved in together a few weeks ago, I’ve had to get used to being on my own. I knew that Marley and I couldn’t live together forever, but that fact became even more apparent when they got engaged.
I miss having someone here with me—to talk to and just have around. I rub my hands together for warmth, shake off the lonely feeling settling in my stomach, and decide to call Marley. The phone rings only once before she picks up.
“Hey,” Marley says in a short tone.
Laying the phone on my bed and pressing the speakerphone button, I start to undress.
“Well, hello to you too, Sunshine,” I reply, smiling at the bite in her voice.
“Sorry, I’m stressed about tomorrow. You’re going to be up at 8 a.m., right? The makeup and hairstylist will be there at 8:30, and I want everyone to be punctual. And—” She’s clearly anxious about her wedding; I mean, what bride isn’t?
“Mar, I will be up and ready to go. The apartment is all set up for guests, and everyone will be here on time… I set it all up. Maid of Honor, remember?” I say through the thick material ofmy turtleneck as I pull it off. I slide on a silky pajama set and put on thick fuzzy socks.
A long sigh comes from the other end of the line. “Okay, good. I just don’t… I don’t know what the hell I was thinking rushing this wedding. A month?! I said we would get married in a month? Am I crazy?”
“Wow, no, you’re not crazy,” I laugh. “You’re in love, and we pulled it off! So, stop worrying and just plan on enjoying the day tomorrow, okay?”
“But—” she tries to argue.
“Okay?” I say again before she can get any of her rebuttal out.
“Fine,” she huffs. There’s a silent pause between us, and I can hear her overthinking from here.
