Everywhere Mastyx touched me, left a mark, his prints, but the only one that may scar is the one on the back of my calf.
“Okay. Let’s bring in the portable X-ray and double check her lungs,” the doctor hooks her stethoscope around her neck. “Bring in a SAFE kit as well.”
The nurse furrows her brow. “Are you thinking assault?”
Assault. Sexual assault. That’s what they are talking about. The kit she’s referring to is one they use to collect evidence for detectives. I learned that long ago, watching Law & Order: SVU.
My body suddenly tremors uncontrollably. A steady and soft hand rests gently on my forearm. “You’re okay. You’re safe now,” the doctor murmurs.
Safe? Nowhere is safe.
The doctor’s hand leaves my arm, and a cold draft chills me to the bones, sending goosebumps across my skin. The nurse slides a warm blanket over me.
The curtain clanks partly open and then closes, the doctor disappearing behind it. Low voices speak on the other side, and seconds later, my mom moves the curtain aside and approaches me slowly, her hands squeezing the top of her purse, her knuckles whitening. “Hey, Tessa bear.”
She sits beside me as a nurse rests empty blood vials on my side table and wraps a rubber strap around my bicep. “First, I’m going to take some blood, then I’ll clean your wounds, spread some cream on them, and cover them. I’ll give you IV fluids and a little medication to help with pain after that,” the nurse says, hanging a fluid-filled bag above me. “The doctor will be back in shortly to do a vaginal exam.”
My mom takes my hand, squeezing it gently as the needle penetrates my vein and a vial fills with my blood.
Tears spill over my cheeks on either side, entering my ears and soaking the pillow beneath my head. The nurse finishes taking my blood, inserts the IV and injects something into the port before grabbing a packet from the side table and dispensing a cream into her gloved hands. She grips my calf, and I clench my teeth before belting out a pent-up scream.
Her eyes squint and her shoulders rise as she cringes, moving faster now, trying not to drag on the agonizing treatment process. A wrap tightens firmly around my calf, and I squeal and yank my leg away from her.
The nurse puts her hand up. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but I’m almost done. The worst is over.”
A strange rushing noise pierces my skull and radiates through my head, making my ears ring. My eyes cross, and my mom’s face blurs as I fight to keep my eyes open, exhaustion and pain trying to drag me into the depths of unconsciousness.
“If you need anything, here’s your call button.” The nurse sets the call button beside my hand and smiles at me with her eyes, the rest of her face hidden behind a mask.
Mom dabs her eyes with a tissue. “Tessa bear, I have to tell you something.”
The doctor steps back into the room, holding a small box.
It’s the kit. The rape kit.
The doctor sits on a rolling stool at the foot of my bed and opens the box. My heart pounds, the thought of what she may find sending my stomach into a frenzy. I yawn broadly, my mouth stretching wide open as my pain slowly fades, the medication the nurse gave me taking effect. My body suddenly feels heavy and relaxed, and my eyes cross, making it hard to focus on her face.
“I’m going to start the exam now, Miss Salavatori. I’m going to try and make it as comfortable for you as possible, but if it gets to be too much, let me know and I’ll stop,” the doctor says, sliding the blanket above my knees and resting it on my stomach.
“Tessa, look at me.” My mom squeezes my hand tighter. “I have to tell you something.”
The doctor’s hand touches the inside of my thigh, putting a slight pressure on it, trying to get me to open my legs more. My ass shifts backward inadvertently, and my knees clamp shut. Her hand cups my knee and tugs gently. “This will be over soon, just breathe.”
I try. I take a deep breath and focus on my mom’s mouth, her words coming out slow and distorted, the medication coursing through me jumbling her words. “Tessa, it’s about Jayce.”
Something pushes inside me, and I shriek, crushing my mom’s hand in my grasp.
“It’s just the speculum, Miss Salavatori, breathe. I have to open you up a little to document the extent of damage.”
Damage. She sees the damage Mastyx did to me.
“Tessa.” My mom takes her other hand and cups it around our joined hands. “Therewas a fire at Jayce’s house and he…” She chokes on her words. “And he didn’t make it.”
I force my eyes open wider, trying to fight the drugs dragging me into unconsciousness. “What did you say?”
Click. Click. Click.
The speculum pinches me, and I release my mom’s hand and grip the sheets, my legs instinctively trying to push my body up and away from the burning pain between them.
