William shrugged, averting his gaze. He didn’t really have a reason for his assumption—or at least not one he could say to Adathan’s face without sounding like a judgmental asshole. In truth, William had never read a single romance novel in his life. Until now, he hadn’t even known there were gay ones.
Which was beyond narrow-minded, he was forced to admit to himself.
Adathan took a step forward, stopping short of their bodies touching. “Would it surprise you if I said romance novels are my favorites?”
William looked at him, unsure if he was serious. With Adathan, it was sometimes difficult to tell. “Really?”
“Mm-hmm.” Adathan reached for his cheek, the delicate touch making warmth bloom in William’s chest. “I think there’s nothing more captivating than the story of two people falling in love.”
“There’s people falling in love in a lot of books that aren’t romance,” William blurted. Why? Why was he even arguing? Why did it bother him so much that Adathan loved romance novels above all?
Adathan cocked his head, fingers moving from William’s cheek to the nape of his neck. “True,” he said softly. “But romance digs deeper into the complexity of human relationships. The happy and the sad; the beautiful and the ugly;the fair and the cruel. It strips the characters’ vulnerabilities bare, exposes their hopes, their fears, their desires...”
A shiver tore through William as Adathan’s fingers brushed his scalp. His hand tightened around the strap of his backpack, his mind racing in search of a way to end this conversation. Resume their walk. Go back home.
And then what?
“Sometimes pure,” Adathan said, wetting his lips and looking deep into William’s eyes. “Sometimesforbidden.”
William’s heart skipped a beat, his breath hitching. He tried to take a step back, but his body leaned forward of its own accord, drawn in by Adathan’s striking eyes. He urged himself to say something, but his brain was useless mush.
“But always impossible to ignore, no matter how hard the protagonist tries to resist,” Adathan said, as if reading his mind. He pressed his other hand against William’s chest and moved it up, slowly, tenderly.
William let out a shaky breath, every muscle taut from the raging battle between his mind and body. He’d known this was bound to happen, and honestly, he had no desire to resist it. But they’d been supposed to have a proper talk about their relationship first. Share expectations, set boundaries.
For Adathan’s sake.
Adathan rose onto his toes, his face inching alarmingly close to William’s. “Like you, for instance.”
“Me?” William breathed out, butterflies fluttering through his stomach.
Adathan’s eyes crinkled. “I saw the way you were looking at me all day,” he whispered, his fingers dancing in William’s hair. “Wishing you could kiss me.”
“W-wait—”
“Shh. I know you’re conflicted, William,” Adathan whispered. “It’s okay.” He cupped the back of William’s head,slowly closing the distance between their lips. “Let me make it easier for you.”
CHAPTER 19
Seen
“No.”
William barely had time to see fear flash in Adathan’s eyes before he pulled him close. “I mean—not here.”
God, he really couldn’t let a day go by without hurting Adathan, could he? William squeezed his eyes shut, hoping Adathan would understand from his embrace that he truly had no intention of rejecting him.
He didn’t think he’d survive pushing Adathan away. Not with his body and mind constantly drawn to him. Not with the way his heart fluttered when he returned home to him. Not with all the long-term plans he’d made despite himself, each one centered on Adathan’s presence in his life.
“You’re a romantic, William,” Adathan whispered in his ear.
William let out a slow, calming breath as he felt Adathan smile against his cheek. He’d never considered himself a romantic. He simply didn’t want their first kiss to happen on a random sidewalk where anyone could see. Adathan wasn’t just a fling. He deserved better.
Adathan cupped the back of William’s head. “It wasn’t my intention to rush you.”
William’s shoulders relaxed at the soft caress of Adathan’s fingers. “You’re not rushing me.” Well, he sort of was, butWilliam couldn’t bring himself to be upset about it. As a tall man with a resting scowl, he’d always been expected to be the confident one in relationships. To set the pace. Be in control.
He’d always hated it. The pressure to perform a role he wasn’t comfortable in only made him more hesitant and awkward. All he’d ever wanted was for his partner to take the reins, but he’d never dared to ask, worried he’d just be shifting the burden onto them.
