William climbed out of bed, carefully navigating his cramped bedroom in the dark. He reached the door with all his toes unharmed and felt along the surface for the knob. He should really buy a lamp.
The lamppost outside the living room window cast just enough light for his eyes to adjust to the darkness—and for him to see that Adathan wasn’t sleeping.
He was sitting on the sofa with his hand pressed against his mouth and his knees close to his chest. His gaze found William’s, and his eyes widened in horror as tears glistened faintly on his cheeks. He looked so small and vulnerable in his oversized sweater, so unlike the confident man he’d been acting like since he moved in.
“Sorry,” Adathan squeaked. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“No, no, no,” William said, rushing to kneel on the floor in front of him. “Don’t apologize. Tell me what’s wrong. Did you have a nightmare?”
Adathan panted against his trembling hand, his body stiffening as if bracing for punishment. He stared blankly ahead, his extended silence making William wonder whether Adathan had heard him at all.
“Adathan,” William said softly. “You’re safe. Breathe. It’s going to be okay, I promise.” He glanced at the laptop on the coffee table. It was open, but the screen was black. His heart squeezed—had he closed Adathan’s browser history yesterday before rushing down the stairs?
Had Adathan found out he’d invaded his privacy?
William looked back at him, reluctantly asking, “Is it because of me?”
Adathan blinked, his brow twitching as if William had just spoken a foreign language.
“Are you feeling like this because of something I did or said?” William asked, enunciating each word clearly. “Did something I do or say hurt you—emotionally?”
Adathan shook his head.
“You can tell me the truth,” William said. And then, even though it felt wrong to do so, he added, “I want you to tell me the truth.”
“Yesterday,” Adathan whispered against his palm, “I did something bad.”
William’s sluggish mind worked to piece together the events of yesterday. Was this about Kyle? Or was it something else entirely? Considering Adathan’s brainwashed perspective, chances were it was nothing at all. There was no point in trying to guess. “What did you do?”
Adathan’s brow twitched again. He dropped his hand. “I made you unhappy.”
William suppressed a sigh. “No—Adathan. You didn’t make me unhappy, I swear. You did nothing bad. I was just... worried for your safety. And I overreacted.”
“You were worried for my safety?” Adathan seemed to relax a little, but the sight did nothing to ease the pressure in William’s chest.
How had he not realized Adathan was feeling like this?
He knew the answer to that question, and it stung: he’d been far too focused on his own emotions to pay attention.
William sat on his heels, his gaze dropping to the fuzzy socks covering Adathan’s feet. The floor was cold against his legs, and goosebumps spread across his bare chest, making him shiver. The urge to go back to sleep tugged at his limbs, but he ignored it. They still had too much to talk about. William feared that if he waited until morning, he’d lose his courage and postpone forever.
He owed it to Adathan to make things clear. But how?
I lied when I said I was your boyfriend because I’m an idiot. Then I let you torture yourself over it instead of clarifying the situation because I’m a spineless coward. Now you’re crying and it’s all my fault.
“William?” Adathan said sheepishly.
William looked up. “Yeah?”
“Do you mind if I sleep in your room tonight? I—I’ll sleep on the floor. It’s just... I feel safer when you’re close.”
William’s heart fluttered. “Of course. But I’m not gonna make you sleep on the floor.” He winced as he stood up, shaking the stiffness from his legs. He took Adathan’s pillow and offered his other hand with a smile.
He led Adathan to his room, turning on the bathroom light on the way in case Adathan needed to go in the middle of thenight. It lit his bedroom just enough that it was no longer a tripping hazard.
Adathan climbed into his bed and lay on top of the covers, as close to the edge as possible.
William lay on top of the covers as well, facing Adathan. Another shiver shook him, but he knew that if he made himself comfortable, there was a high risk he’d succumb to his need for sleep. So he endured the cold.
