Adathan’s lips trembled, his eyes filling with tears as he held William’s gaze. “I dreamed that...” he said in a tiny voice.
William wasn’t sure he wanted to know. What kinds of nightmares did slaves have? Certainly not stupid ones like being at school and realizing he’d forgotten to put clothes on. “It was just a bad dream,” William said, rubbing Adathan’s shoulder. “You’re not in danger.”
Adathan took a shaky breath. “I dreamed that you s-sold me to an unkind p-person.”
Adathan’s words hit William like a punch to the gut. Whenever William woke up from a nightmare, it took at most ten seconds for him to realize none of it was real. He wouldn’t ever lose all his teeth, or miss an exam, or pee his pants in front of his crush.
Adathan didn’t have that luxury.
“I’m not selling you,” William said firmly.
“I’m sorry,” Adathan said between sniffles. “I’m sorry, Mast—”
“Don’t apologize,” William interrupted. If he heard that word again, he was going to lose it.
“I’ll be good, I promise.”
William froze for a second, panic clawing at his chest. He didn’t know what to say—he didn’t know how to reassure someone like this. “Can I hug you?” he blurted, his voice tight.
Adathan nodded, and although William wanted to ask him whether he’d agreed just to please him, he didn’t. He surrendered to his selfish urge to hold Adathan close—to hide Adathan’s face from sight so that he would no longer see the distress in his eyes.
Adathan exhaled a long breath against his chest as William wrapped his arms around him. “Thank you, William. You’re very kind.”
Tears welled in William’s eyes as he held him. Adathan was entirely dependent on him. Forever. He was vulnerable and scared, and William had had sex with him.
“I’m not selling you. I promise,” William said, focusing on not puking.
Adathan returned William’s hug and whispered, “I’m grateful. So grateful.”
William closed his eyes, fighting off his tears. He was aware that Adathan’s situation could have been much worse, but it didn’t change the fact that he should be with someone who had more to offer than not being a sadistic psycho.
William’s eyes snapped open as Adathan’s lips brushed his nipple. “I’ll go take a shower,” he said as casually as possible.
Adathan kissed his nipple again. “Do you want my company, William?”
“Actually, I gotta make it quick.” He let go of Adathan and pulled away, forcing a smile. “I have a couple of things to do before we go to the airport.”
“May I help?”
“No.” William climbed out of bed, all too aware of his nakedness. “But thank you for asking. I’ll let you know if I thinkof something you can help with.” He almost forgot to grab clean clothes from his suitcase in his hurry to retreat to the bathroom.
William stepped into the shower, not waiting for the water to warm up. He grabbed the soap and scrubbed every inch of his skin as memories from yesterday flashed in his head, flooding him with corrosive shame.
The worst part was that he’d enjoyed it.
He’d relished the sensation of Adathan’s silky hair against his fingers, and Adathan’s smooth skin against his lips. He’d reveled in Adathan’s delightful sighs and moans, and in the look of ecstasy on his gorgeous face as William had shown him what gentle, caring sex was like. He’d taken comfort in the way Adathan had clung to him as if he finally felt safe.
But it didn’t matter whether William had liked it, or how respectful he tried to convince himself he’d been. It was clear that Adathan had only initiated because he was afraid William would abandon him.
And now he knew, with a dull, sinking certainty, that he could never let it happen again.
William turned off the water and exhaled a long sigh. He needed Oliver’s guidance—there was no way around it. He would have to man up and own his mistakes.
Oliver would be understanding. He always was.
William finished his rushed morning routine and left the bathroom. He froze as he found the bed neatly made. He looked toward the kitchenette and saw Adathan, fully dressed and standing with his hand pressed against his heart. He was immobile like a statue, back straight and shoulders squared, and wore no facial expression whatsoever.
“Adathan?”
