“Hang on, I thought she was some netball prodigy? Why would she leave when the team is so good?”
She shakes her head but gives me a questioning once over. “I have no idea. But I do know she has had a pretty shitty up bringing. Her parents aren’t really involved, and she has spent most of her life being raised by a nanny. She always spoke about heading to America where one of her friends from boarding school was from. I’m guessing she went there,” She smiles.
“Have you heard from her since? Texted, called? Any posts on social media?” I ask quickly. Lilia looks around and moves closer to me as she lowers her voice.
“I know you are new to the school, but this is common here. Not everyone is made out for this much pressure. Especially when you don’t have the support at home,” She nods a sad smile before leaving me standing next to her row.
I am lost in thought when the curly haired cherub approaches.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I blink before answering. “Yes, sure,” I answer cautiously. Everyone always wants to know more about me, and rightly so. I ask the same of them. But I can’t be truthful, and I didn’t realise how hard that would be in a setting like this. I want to make connections and friends. But I can’t do that here.
“Are you by any chance related to Marlowe Astor?” He assesses my face as I try to contain my shock. This is the first mention of her name in the weeks I have been here. This is my chance. I lie.
“No, sorry. Who’s Marlowe Astor?”
“Oh, your eyes are so similar. I thought you might be cousins or something,” The only thing we have similar is our eyes. Dad’s eyes.
I ask again. “Who’s Marlowe? Does she go here?”
“She used too,” He rubs the back of his neck as he scans the now empty lecture hall, before his attention comes back to me. “To be honest, I was hoping you could have told me where she went. Gave me her new number or address,” I stay silent but engaged hoping he will continue. “We were meant to go out in the summer after the term ended, but she never replied. She told me her dad was…” He pauses then chuckles nervously. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear all this. You just said you have no idea who she is,”
I shake my head desperate to keep this conversation going. “Don’t be sorry. I’m a good listener,” I lift one shoulder. “And I’m new here, maybe, we can go for lunch, and you can tell me about her? I have a few friends dotted around the country who might know her,” I lie again.
He looks around nervously. “What’s your name?” I ask before he blows me off.
“Max,” He smiles.
I hold my hand out. “Hey Max, I’m Ruella,” He takes my hand in his with a small smile.
“Nice to meet you,”
“So, fancy lunch?”
“I can’t today, but I can on Friday?”
Argh. Three more days before I get to grill him again. I guess that’s all I can get for now.
Max is the only person willing to talk about Marlowe, which means that Max is my new best friend.
“Friday it is,”
“See you then Ruella,” He shouts over his shoulder as he leaves the hall, and I fist pump the air in triumph. One step closer to finding Marlowe. One step closer to freedom.
FOURTEEN
ASHER
Iam on the edge of burning out. I can feel it. What was once a raging fire flowing through me, pushing me towards the things I want, the future I envision for myself, is now a dying ember. It’s all getting on top of me, and I have no one to turn to. I would usually take my frustrations out on a female body, Darcy being the easiest and quickest choice, but even that feels like too big of a task for me right now.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror and a stranger stares back at me. Yes, he may be a shadow of me, but I don’t recognise him. My eyes are dull and ringed with dark circles. My usually ironed shirt is wrinkled and shapeless, but I honestly couldn’t give a flying fuck about it anymore. Not after the two weeks I have had.
After the rager in the forest, my days and nearly all my nights have been filled with fixing other people’s messes. I don’t see a day in my future when I can just take a breath and have an early night, maybe even watch some bloody TV, have a bath or read a book. I roughly pull my tie tight around my neck and flip the collar down before pulling on my jacket. I run my hands through my hair and decide that will do for today. I take the cigarette from behind my ear and move to the window, enjoying the five minutes I have before going to class.
As the nicotine hits my system a little sunlight beams through the clouds and warms my skin. I close my eyes and allow it to calm me. It doesn’t though. I am still a live wire from the lacrosse game we lost,being dragged in to sort out my dad’s fuck up at work and then the even bigger fuck up that is my home life.
I’ve got to laugh at the state of it or I might cry. Or kill someone.
