‘It is always the way as we grow older, unless we have a specific reason to fall out of touch…’ She paused deliberately. ‘I myself have several friends I’ve not written to in some years because our paths have led us in different directions.’
‘It is common,’ he replied, a small frown appearing between his eyes. ‘And time changes some paths more than others.’ He inhaled deeply before continuing. ‘Miss Fairfax, I feel I should say something about the evening at the Davenports’. I am not usually a man of poetry or exhibition, and I was feeling especially… ruffled. Please accept my apology for speaking so harshly. It was undeserved.’
Josephine stared, taken aback. An apology was the last thing she expected, especially after such a protracted absence.
‘Thank you, my lord,’ she managed. ‘I believe we may have both spoken out of turn, and I assure you no apology is required.’ She paused, wondering what the protocol was for asking one’s betrothed whether their betrothal was at an end.
‘You see, you confuse me, Miss Fairfax,’ he replied, his eyes flooding with colour again, ‘because you are unlike so many debutantes. You come to me proposing a straightforward business match, and then you confound me by making me care what you think. And I haven’t cared what anyone has thought for a very long time.’
Josephine frowned, unsure what to think. ‘Surely, sir, caring what someone thinks is a good thing? Otherwise we would have a world without conscience or kindness.’
‘I am no stranger to that world, Miss Fairfax,’ he replied swiftly, ‘and I have learned to despise dependency. In my experience, dependency leads only to disappointment– far better to navigate life’s path without it, if you can.’
Josephine schooled her face, though her chest was suddenly tight and thumping. Was he referring to her? To their betrothal?
‘Is that what you truly believe?’ she asked. ‘That we are all better off alone? Why, then, do you come here? Surely your presence here bears witness to the strength of past relationships, if nothing else?’
He stiffened, his lips pressing into a firmer line. ‘Please do not read into my presence here, Miss Fairfax,’ he replied quietly. ‘I live nearby and often walk this route. Yes, I pay my respects on occasion, but that is not the same as any kind of familiarity or dependency; something you would do well to note for when we are wed.’
Josephine stared in disbelief as he uttered words she’d assumed to be retracted. ‘You still wish us to be wed?’ she repeated in an incredulous tone.
‘Why, yes, isn’t that what we agreed?’ He frowned heavily. ‘Or have the rumours changed your mind? I must say, our first meeting gave me to believe you were made of steelier stuff than the rest– but perhaps I was wrong?’
‘I… changemymind?’ she challenged, her tone rising in a way she’d heard in her sisters’ voices, but rarely her own. ‘Iam not the one who abandoned a social soiree, and then disappeared for nigh on a month without a word! Indeed, I have been awaiting confirmation from Thomas that I am the very last debutante you would ever wish to marry!’ Her voice quivered with an anger she barely recognised. She stole a shallow breath, wondering how he brought out a side of her she never even knew she possessed.
‘If I had my way, I wouldn’tmarry at all!’ he replied in a low and furious voice. ‘Why would I inflict my person, my story, onanyone, given a choice? But I am the last of my line and my father would not have wanted the Huntingly name to die under such a cloud– I am duty-bound to look to the future of my estate!’
‘You, sir, are beyond belief! Not only intent on ridiculing my questions, you assume that my proposition, while lacking in sentimentality, was entirely without any investment at all! To tell meIhave changed my mind because you have not had the decency or manners to confirm any arrangements is ridiculous! And then to make it abundantly clear that you would vastly prefernomarriage toanymarriage at all is beyond what I can fathom! Indeed, I am beginning to wonder whatever possessed me to believe that this match would ever work!’
‘Why are you here, then?’
His brusque question hung on the air while his eyes flared amber-gold in the sunlight. Josephine hesitated, so close to challenging him with the full truth, and yet halted by the shadow in his voice.
‘We all have our ghosts, Miss Fairfax… by marrying me, your soul would be stained by my sin for all eternity.’
‘It is all quite settled… Matilda will marry Huntingly at the beginning of the season.’
She swallowed, knowing she was trapped. ‘I am visiting my older sister at Ebcott,’ she said quietly. ‘But it would do well for you to know that my younger sister would be no more… comfortable a match. She has ambitions to train as a nurse and is well known to be the most headstrong among us.’
There was another silence as his eyes shuttered entirely.
‘I am quite aware of the differences between you, and I do not regard the Fairfaxes to be as interchangeable as hats,’ he snapped. ‘And now, if you are quite finished, Miss Fairfax, I have business elsewhere. Allow me to escort you back to Ebcott.’
‘Thank you, sir, but I also have business elsewhere,’ Josephine declined frostily. ‘I bid you good day.’
ChapterFifteen
Huntingly Village; Suspicion and Discord
A few minutes later
Josephine waited inside Ebcott’s stone boundary wall until her fury had subsided enough for her to talk without grimacing.
‘For you cannot make enquiries in the village looking as though you might well murder someone yourself,’ she muttered.
Yet she was conscious of so much more than fury too: discomfort, chagrin, a deep ache that threatened to usurp all else. Of all the places to bump into Lord Alistair Huntingly, the resting place of the family of his murdered foe had to take some beating– even by Phoebe, the most dramatic of them all! And then there was the fact he considered their betrothal arrangement stood– despite what he’d said at the orangery, his protracted silence and now this exchange? How could they promise themselves to each other with nothing but suspicion and discord between them? His sudden kiss in the library stole through her mind and she flushed, despite the dappled green of her hiding spot.
Perhaps it wasn’t quite all discord?Yet the traitorous nature of her thoughts only made her decision to make enquiries all the more urgent.
