‘Even the strongest of attachments rarely last a lifetime… no one broke my heart, I would have to possess one in the first place… It will be a mariage de convenanceonly…’
With a huge, forcible effort she thrust him away, and tried to assemble her scattered wits.
‘Aurelia may delight in telling the ton I’m your courtesan,’she forced out, ‘but I am still a Fairfax– and a debutante too!’ Lord Rotherby drew back as she stood up. ‘This situation has stolen so much from me: my reputation, my self-worth, my family,’ she continued, avoiding his gaze. ‘If I marry you now, it will take the only thing I have left: the freedom to bestow my heart where I choose! I am not some debt to honour, Lord Rotherby. And I have yet to learn of one reason why I should marry someone who is running from scandal himself.’
There was a tense silence, before Lord Rotherby stood up too.
‘I’ve told you all I can,’ he replied tersely. ‘I left London to clear my name, but that has nothing to do with this situation. And I would far rather you accepted my offer freely, but if you are set on pursuing a path of self-destruction, I will have no choice but to insist! In truth, if Lady Aurelia is here, as you suggest, then the matter is even more urgent than I thought. You should not be seen in my company again until we have made our vows. Fortunately, my time away was fruitful, and I have made some progress in locating an English pastor. I intend to ask him to marry us before the week’s end, and would thank you to accept this, Miss Fairfax, as afait accompli.Now, I suggest we return to the Grand Salon before we are missed.’
He proffered his arm then as though escorting debutantes through the moonlit Tuileries gardens was the most normal thing in the world, all traces of their recent entanglement as distant as the music from the Salon.
Sophie stared, trying not to give in to the violent feelings coursing through her veins.
She took a deep breath.
‘Lady Aurelia is indeed here, and would be more than happy to oblige you in your pursuit of a marriage, if you are so inclined,’ she returned coldly. ‘But I believe I have made myself quite clear: we are not suited and my path will be chosen freely. I intend to be gone before the week’s end, and I wouldthankyouto accept this, Lord Rotherby, as afait accompli!’
Then she picked up her skirts and made her way back to the palace quite alone.
ChapterSixteen
A PATH OF SELF-DESTRUCTION
The following day
It was exactly one day and three whisked raw eggs later that the letters came. All were marked urgent, and all were scrawled in great haste by hands she knew.
Sophie stared at them, her head still woolly from the night before, her spirits as low as they’d ever sunk. She’d spent the remainder of the evening glued to Lu Lu’s side, drowning her path of self-destruction with the amply flowing champagne, while her fond companion regaled her with stories of cotillions, quadrilles and waltzes, including two with her very delightful and proper English acquaintance. A few more enquiries confirmed that the neat-stepper in questionwas,in fact, her distant relation, Sir George Weston; and if it seemed a coincidence that in all Paris, Sir Weston had chosen to attend the very same soiree as herself, Sophie contented herself with the fact that at least Aurelia’s outburst seemed to have gone largely unnoticed.
In truth, if it wasn’t for the persistent ache around her toes, and intense thumping in her head– the former the result of Lu Lu’s tightly fitting ball slippers, the latter the result of Lu Lu’s generous hand– she might have considered she’d handled herself with considerable Fairfax style and aplomb. Yet this made little sense of her anxious heart every time she recalled Lord Rotherby’s exit from the Tuileries later that night, without so much as a glance in her direction.
Frowning, Sophie made haste to break the seals and spread the sheets before her.
Knightswood Manor, Devon
12th March 1821
Dearest sister,
I trust this letter finds you well and adjusting to your new life as Lady Rotherby.
I must own to being taken by surprise by the news of your sudden flight, but as Lord Rotherby has since written to explain the swiftness of your mutual attachment, I have attributed any confusion on my part to the mysteries of the heart, and only wish you both well.
As a happy aside, since you have saved me the expense of numerous public announcements, a tedious engagement party, and another interminable family wedding, I have been able to offer Lord Rotherby a not inconsiderable dowry, which I hope will be to his satisfaction.
Perhaps you will write to your sisters and brothers soon, as I am sure they are keen to hear news of your happy nuptials, directly from your hand.
Your brother,
Thomas
Sir Thomas Fairfax
A dark scowl passed across Sophie’s face as she screwed Thomas’s letter into a tight ball. It was so predictable of her eldest brother to ignore her letter and treat Lord Rotherby’s account as truth, so long as it accorded with his Monstrous Marriage Masterplan.Phoebe maintained that he was vastly improved, but Sophie suspected it was only the change in her sister’s marital state that had prompted his improvement. As far as she could see, he was only concerned with notching up another husband for another sister. So much for riding to defend her honour– he couldn’t wait to shake Lord Rotherby by the hand!
Seething, she threw Thomas’s letter into her bedchamber fire and drew the second letter forwards. She turned it over and observed the Damerel seal with mixed feelings. Phoebe might be traversing the continent on her honeymoon, but as the eldest Fairfax girl, she was also fiercely protective of her siblings. Of all people, Phoebe would be the one to understand– and judge– her the most. She broke open the seal with trepidation.
Florence
