‘It would appear not.’ She exhaled. ‘One can hardly blame Princess Caroline for pursuing some happiness of her own.’
‘And what ofyourhappiness, Miss Fairfax?’
She glanced up and it was there, weighing the air between them, a draw so strong she wanted nothing more than to ignore the world and everyone else in it.
But what good were brief, fractured thoughts that couldn’t be expressed or acted upon? They meant nothing, trapped in time forever, like his fevered declaration beneath the magnolia tree.
Was he thinking about that, too?
‘I’ve been meaning to apologise,’ he muttered in a low voice, ‘for my behaviour… It was unforgivable.’
Phoebe stared, wondering for which part he was apologising.
‘I wouldn’t call it—’ she started.
‘It was unforgivable,’ he repeated. ‘Dr Kapoor has made it abundantly clear that you saved Florence’s life that night, and I should have thanked you – wholeheartedly – not berated you. By some small way of recompense, I have offered to fund his research into Asthma Therapy, if the army will agree to a period of leave.’
‘I… Thank you!’ Phoebe flushed in genuine shock. ‘That means a great deal, and I’m sure Dr Kapoor is honoured,’ she added, wondering if the viscount was also aware of the rumours about the doctor and his brother.
‘If I may be permitted any defence, Miss Fairfax, it is only that I am somewhat coloured by experience. We have come close to losing Florence through lung afflictions so many times, I have become somewhat overprotective. But then it is in my nature, you see. When I care, I care too much.’
Phoebe nodded, a strange sensation threading through her tense limbs.
Of course she understood, didn’t she have the same instinctive fire when Matilda slipped into the canal at Sydney Park, when Josephine was struggling to breathe, or even when she herself was preparing to bruise Sophie’s heart?
It was love – wrongly guided at times – but love all the same.
‘So, I mean it when I say I am indebted to you, Miss Fairfax. And while I will not plague you with unwanted attentions again, my services remain yours to call upon – whenever they are needed.’
She caught her breath and all at once they were back in the garden, gold flecks burning, lips shaping words she longed to believe with all her heart.
And yet she was bound by the reckless promise of a dead man, and he to the most duplicitous girl of her aquaintance. He was in no position to offer anything, and suddenly she could no longer bite her tongue.
‘How can I believe anything you say? One moment you’re making the wildest proclamations, the next you’re treating me like a common criminal! You interfere, judge, tell me I’m all manner of disrespectful things and then claim I’ve stolen your peace?And all before behavingas though we’re veritable strangers again! You are the most confusing person I’ve ever known!’
‘I found you in your corset and petticoats, backstage at the Theatre Royal! With a powdered wig upon your head!’ the viscount returned, tautly.
‘That was my hair!’
‘Really! What of fighting a highwayman in your brother’s breeches? Dangling after one of Elliot’s unit? Riding under the influence of noxious substances or engaging in a common brawl with a bevy of actresses – all while secretly engaged to the Earl of Cumberland! – andI’mthe confusing one? I may not have always behaved perfectly, Miss Fairfax, but I hope I have, at least, behaved with honour!’
His face was etched in shadows, as though his words were costing him deeply. Phoebe drew a deep breath, her head swimming with the many times in which the viscount’s behaviour hadn’t been in the least bit honourable and furious that she couldn’t even begin to defend her own.
‘I thank you for your offer, sir,’ she returned in a clipped tone, forcing her gaze across the room at the ridiculous earl. ‘But I find myself quite content.’
It was, without any doubt, the biggest untruth she’d ever told.
He scowled then, the muscle in his cheek working overtime, just as they were interrupted.
‘There you are!’ Aurelia exclaimed with a rehearsed giggle, slipping her arm through his.
It was a gesture that conveyed everything, and the viscount’s face shuttered instantly.
‘Congratulations, Miss Fairfax, on finally being able to attend balls and soirées, without fear of forcible ejection by the society mamas,’ Aurelia tittered. ‘Though I do suspect you enjoy all the drama!’
She took a sip of her sweet-scented negus, before wobbling slightly.
‘Are you feeling quite well, Lady Carlisle?’ Phoebe returned pointedly.
