“Now, what?” I ask in anticipation of what he’s going to say next. I feel like a bomb is about to be dropped.
FORTY-FIVE
DEAN
DoI tell her how I really feel? Do I dare to let her further in, to fully expose myself to her, only to potentially hurt her again? Her eyes are pleading with me for an answer. Those gorgeous, hazel eyes that are like deep caramel that I want to drizzle on top of everything to make it sweet.
“Now,” I take a deep breath and slowly exhale it, “I know I have feelings for you. Not being with you has been torture for me.” She bites her lower tip, taking in what I’ve just admitted to her. Reaching out, I pull her lip out from between her teeth with my thumb, making her breath hitch.
The butterflies are going wild in my stomach. I’m on the edge of saying those three words. Words that can change everything. I have a feeling she has feelings for me, though I don’t think she’s ready to admit that. If she can’t admit that to herself, she can’t admit it to me.
I think I’ve felt this way about Regan well before this season. I wanted to push her away, make her the enemy so that I wouldn’t feel anything but animosity toward her.
It’s now or never, because I really have nothing else to lose. She’s already partially out the door, and if this is the final push, then so be it.
“I love you, Regan. I think I have for a while. Even before we were physical together.” She audibly gasps and tries to say something, but I jump in before she can say anything. “You don’t have to say anything back. I just needed you to know.”
Her mouth opens and closes like a fish that flopped onto the deck of a boat, unable to respond. Though her eyes give her away. She loves me back; she just can’t say it yet. I’ll wait an eternity for her if that’s what it takes.
“Dean, I care for you, I do. But…” She fumbles over her words, so I take her hand to ease her nerves.
“It’s okay. I understand. We can just hang out tonight. FinishBridgerton?”
She laughs, breaking the tension in the air at my confession. I cue up my laptop and we curl up into my bed, watching until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Maybe for the last time.
The next morning, Regan left when Karsen texted her that he was about to leave and she didn’t have her truck this weekend, so she had to go with him. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, which gave me a bit of hope, as she left my RV.
Packing up the outside of my RV, Chase and Taylor walk by. Taylor has a weird look on his face and keeps checking his phone, while Chase is just smug.
“Can I help you with something? I’m a bit busy.” I unhook the water hose and begin to roll it up to place it in a compartment.
“Did I see Brady leaving your place this morning?” Taylor asks. “And you said you would be at Leslie’s party, and we never saw you there.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “So what if you did? And I was there, just not that long.”
Chase’s brows raise, like he knows there’s more to the story, and Taylor accepts my answer and is back to typing on his phone.
“So, that’s the reason both of you have been acting weird,” Taylor says, finally putting his phone in his pocket. “Because you’ve been fucking?”
I face Chase and raise my brows, and he returns a look that says,I didn’t say shit.
I return a look of my own,I know your secrets, too.And he starts to back down. Taylor doesn’t seem to know anything official about Regan and me, or about Chase and Leslie. He seems to have a secret of his own.
“It’s really none of your business.” I glare more at Chase to ensure that he keeps his mouth shut. Taylor picks up on it, though, and slaps his best friend in the arm.
“You knew and didn’t tell me?” Taylor exclaims.
“Ow! What the hell?” Chase wails. “I don’t know anything,” Chase lies. Taylor narrows his eyes at his best friend, seeing right through him.
“You did know. What else are you hiding from me?” Taylor asks, seemingly forgetting about me entirely. Chase freezes, eyes wide. He hasn’t told anyone besides me and Regan, not even his best friend.
Chase recovers finally. “You wanted to laugh at Dixon. Keep me out of it.”
Taylor looks between us, mumbling something under his breath, and storms off. Chase releases a breath and scrubs his hands over his red stubble.
“He’ll come around,” I reassure him.
