At the track in Atlanta,the night before qualifying and practice, Regan consumes my thoughts every free moment I have. From the drive here, to the meeting I just had with Steve and the crew for tomorrow. I need to get her out of my head. I wanted to just hang out with the guys tonight to try and do just that. I asked for a guys game night at Chase’s place. Except Taylor ran into Regan on the way here, and he invited her, who also brought Leslie.
So, here we all are: Chase, Taylor, Ian, Regan, and Leslie all playing Mario Kart in Chase’s RV. The tension here is thick, and I don’t think that it’s just about Regan and I by the way Leslie keeps avoiding Chase.
I do my best to keep my distance from Regan, play it cool, act as though I haven’t seen my rival naked—and loved every minute of it. That’s all I’m thinking about now, how I can get her alone to taste her perfect pussy again.
I’m already sporting a semi and I don’t want to make it worse. I do my best to adjust myself without anyone noticing. I can’t get turned on now. There are only four controllers, so we’ve been switching off throughout the night. Taylor has just won the last round against Ian, Leslie, and Chase.
“Damn it!” Chase hollers as he crosses the finish line in second place.
“Never underestimate the power of Yoshi,” Taylor exclaims. He gets up and grabs another round of beers from the fridge, passing them out. “Who’s up next?”
“Me, Regan, and whoever else wants to play,” I say, handing a controller to Regan. My fingers brush against hers, and a rush of pink tinges the light skin of her cheeks. I give her the smallest wink, just to tease her, and her flush turns brighter. Though I wanted to get her out of my mind, since she’s here, might as well have a little fun.
Taylor is still handing out beers and offers one to Regan, but she declines it.
“I’m done for the night, thanks,” she says, picking her character, Toad. Of course she’d pick Toad, she’s not a Princess Peach type of girl.
“Probably for the best,” Taylor says. “Unlike the time that Dean took us all out drinking before Martinsville and got drunk enough to take that chick home.” They all start laughing, Ian gives me a knowing smirk, Leslie and Regan are stone faced.
The race on the screen is about to start, and Regan’s head turns so fast that I think she’ll get whiplash.
“What?” she asks, her tone flat, but her eyes are telling me a different story.
She’s angry. No—scratch that. She’s livid, with a touch of hurt in her hazel eyes.
“We all went out, he got so plastered, brought a chick home, and was late getting to the track the next day.” Taylor laughs even harder. Regan’s lip begins to quiver as she is holding back her tears. I want to reach out to her, to explain, but there are too many people here to do so.
She drops the controller on the couch and gets up. Everyone is looking at her, not knowing what’s going onexcept Leslie. If looks could kill, let’s just say I wouldn’t be racing tomorrow.
“I just remembered that I need to do a thing. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” She leaves the RV without much protest, and without thinking, I get up and follow her.
Regan is already halfway down the row before I’m able to catch up to her. I grab her elbow. “Regan, wait, let me explain.”
Is there anything to explain? What Taylor said is what happened. Obviously, it’s about the timing of when it happened, and the fact that I didn’t tell her about it. It made me realize that I want to explore things with Regan more, and sure, we didn’t establish the exclusivity until after the gala, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I hurt her by lying by omission.
Fuck. I should have just been honest with her. I should have told her everything that happened that night. I was just so focused on keeping her for myself that I didn’t take her feelings into consideration. And with what she told me about her loser cheating ex, I didn’t want to give her any reason to cut me off.
“Explain? Explain how we got together, or hooked up, or whatever, and then you fucked someone else, and then agreed to be exclusive without telling me you were with someone else? How can I trust you when you hid this from me?” she shouts, tears clinging to the edges of her eyes, begging to fall, but she’s fighting to keep them in.
“I mean…” I rub the back of my neck, not knowing what to say. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought not telling you was the better option. I didn’t want to risk losing you.”
“You lied to me, Dean! Even after I told you what happened with my ex, you still didn’t tell me,” she wails. The hurt coats her words and they blast through me like an arrow through my chest.
“You’re right, I did. I lied to you by omission, and it waswrong. I just wanted you for myself, and I thought telling you would make you run.”
“Well, you were right about one thing, Dixon.” She spits out my last name like it’s a curse, and it hurts far worse than I ever thought possible.
“Please, just let me do something, anything to make it up to you.” I reach out to her, but think twice about it and drop my hand mid-air.
“There’s nothing you can do. You fucking lied. I can’t trust you anymore. I’m not making that same mistake twice.” She turns on her heel and storms away. I want to go after her, but my feet hold me in place, my heartbeat still drumming in my ears.
Fuck! I should have just told her. I thought that I could have something for myself, and I fucking ruined it just like I do with everything.
On the grid the next day, practice has an awkward haze over it from what happened the previous evening. Regan won’t even look at me. I wouldn’t even know what to say to her if she did want to talk to me.
I’m leaning up against my car, waiting for my practice run, watching Regan climb into her own car to get ready for her run. I must be lost in thought, because I don’t even hear Chase come up to me until he’s waving a hand in front of my face.
“Hello? Earth to Dixon,” he says. I blink out of the trance I’ve been in and turn to look at Chase.
