I’m a bit worried about Leslie wanting to meet up like this, especially so close to the next race. I finishup at the shop, clean up at home, and head out to meet them at Dragon’s Fire Brewery in uptown Charlotte.
I find Leslie outside on the brewery terrace that faces directly at the tall buildings in the center of uptown. When the sun sets and all the lights illuminate the buildings, I’m sure this would be a beautiful spot to sit and hang out, maybe take a date. This is one of our favorite breweries. The inside is transformed into what looks like a fantasy tavern.
“Hey,” I say, swinging a leg over the bench to sit down across from Leslie. “What’s up that you need a girls’ night out?” She already has a beer and is looking down, then she finally looks up at me and I can tell that she’s been crying. Her eyes are red and puffy, and bits of mascara and eyeliner have settled on her cheeks. She sniffles and wipes her face with the heel of her hand, spreading the makeup further.
“I told Chase that I really liked him, and he said he didn’t feel the same way and decided to cut ties with everything.” The tears start to flow again, causing her to keep wiping her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Les. Did he say why?” She shakes her head and takes a small sip of beer. I reach out and take one of her hands in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “He’s the one missing out. You’re amazing, and if he can’t see that or keep your friendship, then that’s on him.”
Another sniffle. “I know. I just need to forget about him. It’s just so hard to do that, you know?”
“I know. It’ll come with time,” I say. I order a beer from a passing server as Cindy takes a seat next to Leslie, out of breath like she ran here.
“What did I miss?” she asks, turning to greet Leslie. “Oh, honey, what happened?” She pulls Leslie into a hug.
Leslie fills her in, and Cindy is just as comforting as I was earlier, with just a bit more swearing. The server comes back with my beer and Cindy and Leslie order for themselves; seems like we’re going to be here a while.
Leslie is done talking about Chase, so Cindy fills us in on her college classes and how excited she is for the upcoming semester. Then somehow, the conversation gets turned to me.
“What’s been going on with you and Dixon?” Leslie asks, slurring her words a little bit. Looks like she is cut off for the night.
My cheeks heat, giving me away instantly. I quickly down what’s left of my beer before answering. “Well—uh.” I struggle to find the words. “I mean, we have been doing the benefits parts if that’s what you’re asking,” I finally say.
Leslie and Cindy glance at each other, and then back at me. Both their eyes are narrowed in suspicion.
“And?” Cindy asks, trying to coax me to explain further.
“And what? It’s benefits only, that’s the whole point. There is no ‘and’.”
“That’s bullshit, and we all know it,” Cindy accuses. I just blink at her outburst. Cindy is usually blunt, but not in this way. Her nostrils flare, moving her piercing, glinting in the string lights that have turned on as the sun has almost set.
“It’s not bullshit,” I say defensively.
Yes it is.
Cindy just glares. Fuck, she can see right through me, as always. I honestly don’t know what to tell her. I’m still working through my own feelings right now. When I woke up in his arms the last time we were together, he was holding onto me like he didn’t want to let go, like even in sleep, he wanted to keep me close. I slipped out before he woke up. I got scared that I enjoyed that feeling of being in his arms too much.
“It is, Reg,” Cindy counters. “I know you. I’ve known you since we were eight years old. You like him as more than just benefits or a hookup or whatever you are doing, and it scares the shit out of you.”
I drop my head down into my hands that are resting on the tabletop. “I don’t know how I feel,” I admit. I lift up myeyes back to Cindy and Leslie. Leslie’s eyes are full of worry, and Cindy just raises her brows as if to say,well? Go on.
“The last time we…you know. I accidentally slept over, and I liked waking up next to him.”
“That’s what has you so rattled?” Leslie asks, confused. Of course she is, she doesn’t know my fucked up dating history like Cindy does.
“I think you should give Dean a chance,” Cindy says. “I have a feeling he is more invested than you think.”
“Pfft, what makes you say that? He’s not the relationship type, remember? Grid girls and what not?”
Leslie taps her chin as if she’s remembering something. “Now that you say that, he hasn’t brought any grid girls to any track since…Martinsville, when he came late.”
I pause, thinking back. She’s right, and that’s before we agreed on exclusivity. Was that on purpose or a coincidence?
“Reg, I think you have a chance at something here. Don’t let some jackass from your past ruin it for you,” Cindy says.
“What happened before?” Leslie asks, then instantly looks like she regrets her question. I answer her anyway.
I let out a breath to give her the short version of the story. “My last serious boyfriend cheated multiple times during our relationship. I broke it off with him and he came crying back months later. I stupidly decided to give him another chance. I went to surprise him for his birthday at his place and caught him balls deep in someone else. I never looked back after that.”
