She hands me her hat, and I use my marker to sign the brim. I place it back on her head, and she is absolutely beaming.
“Thank you! I hope one day, I can drive race cars like you!”
Her dad frowns a bit, but then recovers. Racing is an expensive sport, and without funds, it can be hard to get anywhere. Thoughts of what Dean has had to do just to keep racing surges through my mind. All the hours he puts in at the shop, working at the diner to make ends meet. It feels like a hand is squeezing the life out of my heart; not because I pity him, because I empathize with him.
Alex’s dad places a hand on her shoulder. “Alex, honey, we talked about this. We can’t do karts anymore.” His voice is sad as he says it. Alex’s shoulders slump at the reminder.
“Yeah, I know,” she says with such sadness. I want to just hold her in my arms to make her feel better.
“Why don’t you come around for a photo?” I offer. At least I can still make a good memory for her.
Alex skips around the table and her dad pulls out his phone to take pictures. Once we are done, I kneel down to her level so that I can look her in the eye.
“You can do anything you put your mind to. Don’t give up on your dreams. Even if you have to wait a little longer to achieve them.” Alex leans in to give me one final hug before leaving with her dad, and the next fans come in.
Once all the fans have been through, I ask the PR manager for Alex’s dad information for later. I tuck the card she gives me into my back pocket and go to gather my things to leave.
“That was nice what you told that little girl,” Dean says.
“Thanks,” I say, unable to control the smile that makes its way across my face. His shaggy hair is a little more tamed today, and I really want to run my hands through it to mess it up again. “Looks like you have a lot of fans yourself.” Though Dean and I have been at odds with each other for two years, being around him now is so easy. Getting to know him, seeing what’s behind the walls he’s put up around himself, makes me feel important. As more than just a racecar driver, as a person.
“What information were you asking for?” he asks, gesturing to my pocket where I slid the card.
“Nothing. Just want to see if I can do anything to help her.” Dean is about to say something when Ian slithers up next to him, sucking the joy that was once in the room.
“Way to lie to that little girl,” he sneers.
I huff and fold my arms across my chest. “I didn’t lie to her. You can do anything you put your mind to. You just choose to put your mind to being a dick,” I quip.
Dean snickers and Ian shoots him a look. “You would know about being a dick, wouldn’t you, Dixon?” He shoves past Dean’s shoulder. “See y’all in Atlanta.” He laughs as he walks out of the room.
“What was that about?” I ask, my brows shooting to the top of my forehead.
“Don’t worry about it. Would you like to grab something to eat?” he asks, changing the subject.
“I can’t. Gotta work in the shop. Rain check?”
He nods, and I leave and head out to the parking lot, my mind swimming with what just happened between Dean and Ian. Something is up, and I need to find out what. With this gap between races, it should give me enough time to do just that.
THIRTY-EIGHT
REGAN
Even with thelonger break between races, I’ve been in the shop almost constantly. More so than usual. The pressure is really on with Ian catching up in the points standings, and everyone is giving their all to stay ahead of both of them.
Cindy wanted to go out, but a night in sounds better. I draw a hot bath with a lavender bath bomb, pick a dirty romance book, and crack a beer. I sink into the bath, disappearing below the purple tinted water of the bath, letting the scent and hot water relax my muscles. I sip on my beer and crack open my book, and this is it—perfection.
I needed this, keeping myself as busy as possible with as many distractions as possible to keep Dean out of my head. He reached out a few times to hang out, but I gave him excuses as to why we couldn’t meet up. I want to see him, and I want to fuck him. I want him to not win the championship, too. There are so many things happening that a night to fully relax is what I need to get a bit of clarity.
I’m engrossed in my book. The main characters are finally starting to realize their feelings for each other when my phone buzzes on the ledge of the bathtub.
Dean
Hey, what you up to tonight?
I’m surprised he’s still reaching out after I’ve blown him off so many times. Maybe tonight can be the night I cash in on some of the benefits of our arrangement. Now that we are exclusive, knowing that he’s not seeing anyone else is a relief. That image that Ian showed me at the gala of Dean’s arm snaked around some other girl's waist still makes my stomach churn.
Me
