Chapter Twenty
Sam
Sam pushed his lawnmower back into the shed and closed the door. With a sigh, he brushed his hand across his sweaty brow, taking in the satisfaction of the first cut of the year. His garden was starting to bloom and as it was beside the road running through the hamlet of Clachnabronnachan, he liked to keep it tidy. There was a lot of grass though which kept him busy in the warmer months. A patio area ran along the back of the quite substantial detached house. He’d planted bright flowers in the borders next to the bushes to make it look colourful and inviting.
He’d bought this place in a private sale because he’d needed somewhere in Perthshire when Olive moved last year. He hadn’t expected any replies to his plea on a local social media group, but to his surprise, someone had come forward with this place. It needed a massive amount of upgrading, but was in a great location – not just because it was only a short drive into Glenbriar for work, but because it was peaceful and very picturesque. The thought that he was going to have to sell up lessthan a year after moving in made him feel sick. He felt like he hadn’t fully moved in yet. The kitchen and main bathroom had been the first things he overhauled, but it still needed work done in the rest of the house.
Work that he might never have time to do. Unless Olive got another job in the area. He kicked off his messy shoes at the back door and went inside to the kitchen. They’d been lucky with the weather so far this holiday. Perhaps he could think about renting out this house for the next six or seven years until Jacob left school. He could rent somewhere else in the interim, then return here when they’d left home and he no longer had to be close to them. Or he faced a darker option – letting them move away with Olive and not going with them.
Could he do that?
How would they feel about it? It wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, but maybe the time had come. The desire for stability warred with his guilt at the thought of letting the boys down.
He filled a glass with ice from the dispenser on the freezer, then added cold water. His mind drifted back to Somerset. What a weekend that had been. And Clara.Oh god. She was incredible.
Who knew you could have sex that good with a friend? At all even.
Then, quite suddenly, a horrible, sickening sensation washed over him. What if Clara had spent their whole encounter imagining he was Kerr? Was that likely? She’d mentioned him once or twice, so he was obviously still creeping into her thoughts. But into the bedroom? Sam shook his head to clear the image.
She said my name!
I love you, Sam.
Those words had fallen from her lips – surely if she’d been imagining Kerr, she would have saidhisname.
Sam checked the time on his phone. Plenty of time if he wanted to go for a run or a walk that afternoon.
He was meeting Kaleb and Jacob on Friday, when he’d planned to take them bowling. He smiled at the thought but sobered quickly. Clara still didn’t know the whole truth about the boys. Very few people did, other than his family and some of his friends back home. He probably should have told her before they went to Somerset in case someone else had mentioned it.
Everyone usually assumed they were his biological kids – and he treated them like they were. He’d raised them, even though he had no legal claim on them. No obligation to follow them around like he did, to pay for their upkeep or to do anything for them at all. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. It wasn’t something he liked talking about. It shifted the way people looked at him. Some people, even Dominic, never mentioned the boys now. It was as if the fact Sam hadn’t made them meant, once his relationship with Olive ended, he should have walked away, given up on all the years he’d put into them and disowned them because someone else’s sperm had formed their genetic makeup. But he couldn’t see it like that. If Olive decided she didn’t want him to have contact, she could enforce it, but he had no such rights. He couldn’t stop her moving wherever she wanted with them whenever it suited her.
Kaleb and Jacob deserved a father who loved and cared for them. Not the biological one, who wanted nothing to do with them.
Sam’s phone buzzed. Pulling him out of his thoughts. Clara’s name lit up the screen, and his chest did a little flip.
He answered on the second ring. ‘Hey.’
‘Hey,’ she said in her bright, chirpy way that always made him smile. ‘What are you up to?’
‘Not much.’ He glanced around the room as if to prove it to himself. ‘Just been mowing the grass. And recovering from Somerset.’
She laughed. ‘Me too. And… I was wondering if you were free to maybe go for a walk with me and Skye this week.’
‘Of course.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘When? I’m free most of the week, but not Friday.’
‘Soon, because I miss you,’ she said, and his heart stumbled over itself.
‘You do?’
‘Of course.’
‘It’s only been one day… But I miss you too,’ he said quietly. ‘You can come over anytime. I really don’t mind.’
‘Can I come now? I’m in Glenbriar getting some shopping.’
He let out a little laugh. ‘Sure.’
‘We’re on our way. Be there in half an hour.’
