She gave him a weak smile. ‘Aw, thank you. You’re such a sweet guy.’
His lip twitched.
‘Hey…’ He hesitated, watching her for a moment, then cleared his throat.
Her gaze flicked to his, and then her eyes brightened a little. ‘I think I just need a hug.’
‘From me?’
‘Anyone really.’
‘Oh… sure. Lissa is better at this kind of thing than I am, but here.’ He moved forward and opened his arms to her. She was very short, and she seemed to curl into him, resting her head on the section of his shirt between his open blazer. If anything, her upset seemed to increase for a moment, and she let out a tiny sob. It was bizarre doing this with a colleague, and he wasn’t sure exactly where to put his hands. They suddenly felt very large, or maybe she was just very small. He settled them lightly on her back, and she seemed to melt so far into him, she was almost inside his jacket.
‘Thank you, Sam. You are so lovely.’
He smiled but didn’t respond. She always said kind things like that. All around her office were pictures with quotes like, ‘Doubt your doubts, not your abilities; you’re incredible’, ‘Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud’ and ‘The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart’. His smile grew as he read them, and he could hear them being said in her voice to pupils who came to her feeling low. Now, she was the one who needed a rainbow to brighten her cloud, and though Sam wasn’t convinced he was shiny enough to do the job properly, he’d give it a shot.
‘It’s always worse in the buildup to things like this. Once they’re here, we’ll just get on with it.’ He rubbed her back instinctively, then stopped. Was that appropriate? She was a young, beautiful colleague, and he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea – he liked her, but purely as a work friend. ‘But… is there perhaps something else?’
‘What else?’ She pulled back a little and looked up at him with wide eyes.
‘Something surrounding Kerr. I get the feeling you—’
‘How do you know that?’ Clara pressed her hands to her lips and looked away. ‘Oh god, does everyone know? Is it that obvious?’
‘No.’ He let her go and looked at her directly. ‘I don’t think anyone else knows.’
‘Then how…?’
‘I just saw… the way you look at him and… guessed.’
‘Oh god.’ She kept her eyes down, almost collapsing into him again. ‘I feel so terribly stupid. Please don’t tell anyone. Ever.’
‘I’ll never tell anyone. I wouldn’t. I only mentioned it because I wanted you to know that you don’t have to be alone. You’re always here for others, and you should have someone here for you. I know I’m probably not the ideal person, but…’
‘No, Sam, you are. You’re so kind, and it’s actually such a relief. I’ve never told anyone. I couldn’t. It just feels so silly.’
‘Why? It’s not stupid to love someone.’ He huffed out a little sigh.
‘But when it’s so one sided.’
‘It’s still not stupid. Just upsetting.’
‘I really hope Kerr doesn’t know.’
‘I’m sure he doesn’t.’ Sam smiled down at her. ‘I think he likes you as a friend, and that probably makes it even worse. I suppose if he wasn’t a nice person, it would be easier not to think about him.’
‘Exactly, but he’s so… Oh, never mind. I need to stop thinking about him. It’s not good for me.’
‘Well, you know where I am if you want to talk. Equally, if you never want me to mention it again, then I won’t.’
She patted his arm. ‘I’ll see how I feel. But right now, I just can’t thank you enough for caring enough to come after me.’
‘No worries.’ He checked the time. ‘I really need to go, or I’ll be cutting it really fine. But don’t be a stranger if you need to talk… about anything.’
‘Thank you, Sam.’ She leaned in and wrapped her arms about him again, almost crushing him. Jeez, for someone so small, shewas strong. He gave her a brief pat on the back, collected his case and left.
That was possibly the weirdest encounter he’d ever had with a colleague, but he felt better for doing it. He hated the thought of her going home upset, alone. She may still do that, but at least she knew she didn’t have to face the whole thing on her own if she didn’t want to.
