‘It’s just… it’s so stupid,’ she muttered, her words landing close to his ear and giving him a little shock. ‘I spent nearly three years thinking he might feel the same. Imagining… I don’t know… that it was only a matter of time, I guess. But it wasn’t.’
Sam held her a bit tighter, his palm smoothing over the soft fabric of her top. ‘You’re not stupid. It was real to you. You poured your heart into someone who just didn’t feel the same way. That’s not stupid, just unlucky.’
She gave a shaky laugh, pulling back slightly to look at him. ‘I just wish I hadn’t said anything. I mean, dating colleagues isn’t forbidden, but it probably isn’t sensible either. Why did I not think?’
‘Because it doesn’t work like that,’ he said gently. ‘Loving someone isn’t rational. It’s not something you can pick apart or “see” with logic. You felt something real. And he didn’t.’
She managed a little smile. ‘Thank you, Sam. You really are a treasure.’ She squeezed his arm. A spark flamed in his gut, but he forced it down. Friends did not need to feel anything like that for each other – especially when she’d just agreed to the fake date. He didn’t need to fan any flames that might lead to her film styleshenanigans. And she’d just expounded several reasons why getting involved with a colleague was a bad idea. Worse when she was clearly still carrying a torch for Kerr.
‘If it helps.’ Sam turned back to the wheel. ‘Then I should tell you that I don’t think it’s something that bothers Kerr. He doesn’t hold it against you. If he didn’t like you or thought your behaviour inappropriate, then I’m sure I’d have heard rumours. You know how people gossip. But truly, no one has ever said a thing. So really, it’s not worth your energy.’
She gave him one of her proper smiles, and she patted his shoulder. ‘I really appreciate all this. I can’t talk to anyone else about it – except Skye – and she’s not great for replying.’
‘Bless her.’
‘I’m so glad you don’t think I’m a complete disaster.’
‘Definitely not a disaster. Maybe a temporary emotional hiccup.’
She laughed. ‘Well, when you put it like that… maybe I can handle this after all.’
‘I’m certain you can.’
As he pulled back onto the road, he cast a quick glance her way, pleased to see her looking more like herself again. They settled into an easy silence for a while, commenting only on passing landmarks and the traffic. This journey was a marathon, not a sprint, and while the Satnav insisted the journey could be done in eight hours, Sam knew that was beyond optimistic. In all his years doing it, he’d barely managed it under ten, and usually it was nearer twelve. With the fuel stops, food stops, traffic jams and roadworks added into the mix, there was no point even thinking of it as an eight-hour journey. If he viewed it as a twelve-hour one, he could at least feel like he’d made good time if he got there in less.
‘So, do we need a cover story for the fake dating?’ she asked, sounding much happier. ‘I suppose so, though nothing too complicated.’
‘We can just say we met at school and haven’t been together long.’
‘Perfect.’
‘Remind me, your sister has two girls, is that right? I need to at least have the family facts right.’
‘Yeah, Alisha and Mina.’
‘Aw, lovely names.’ Clara smiled. ‘How old are they?’
‘Alisha’s nine and Mina’s seven. They’re very sweet.’ He let out a sigh. They were lovely girls, and it saddened him to be so far away from them. He wanted to be a good uncle, but it wasn’t easy with five-hundred miles in the way. ‘They’ll adore you, by the way. Don’t be surprised if they’re attached to your side the whole time we’re there.’
‘Aw, you think?’
‘I know. I see what you’re like with the kids at school. They all adore you. My mum will love you too. She’s the best is my mum.’
‘I bet she misses your dad.’
He kept his eyes fixed on the road. ‘She does. All the time. He died far too young, and they were really close. We all were. He was a great dad. It was so hard without him. Still is. He was always so kind, warm-hearted, and pleasant. Nothing was ever too much trouble, and you could tell him anything. He never laughed if you had a problem. He listened and did what he could to help you figure it out.’ His heart sagged under the memories with that dull ache reminding him he’d never feel those things again. Even after twenty years without him, it hurt.
Clara put her hand on his knee and held it there so that warmth travelled up his thigh. ‘Sam…’
‘What?’ He forced his breathing to remain even.
‘He sounds just like you. He lives on in you. You’ve literally just described yourself.’
A smile tugged at Sam’s lips. Was that true? He’d never thought about that, but if he was half the man his dad was, then he’d take it. ‘Thanks.’
‘Listen, if you fancy a break from driving at any point, I’m fully comp, so I can help if you like. It’s a bit much to have you doing all of it.’
Sam blinked. ‘Oh, sure – just say the word whenever you want a turn. I should’ve thought to ask, but… well, my ex hated driving, so I just do it without thinking.’
