His arms came around her, strong and sure, wrapping her completely in his warmth. The trembling stopped. The fear ebbed away. All she could feel was him – the solid weight of his embrace, the rasp of his breath against her ear, the quiet, steady pulse of his heart.
He pressed a slow, lingering kiss to the top of her head, then tilted her chin up so she had no choice but to meet his gaze. His thumb brushed gently across her cheek, wiping away a tear.
Skye, wedged between them, gave a tiny whine before stretching forward and licking Clara’s face.
A breathless laugh escaped her. ‘Aw, my beautiful pup.’ She kissed Skye’s nose, her lips still trembling.
‘Now,’ Sam murmured, his voice soft but serious, ‘tell me what you were going to say.’
Clara hesitated. The joy was still fluttering in her chest, fragile as a heartbeat. Part of her wanted to keep it there, perfect and unspoiled. But truth pressed hard against her ribs.
‘Well, ok… I just know it’ll change things,’ she said quietly.
‘Whatever it is, I’m sure it won’t.’ He sounded sure.
She leaned up and pressed a trembling kiss to his cheek. Her tears hadn’t stopped. They clung to her lashes, along with the rain.
‘Oh, Sam,’ she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. ‘I do love you. But it might.’
He frowned slightly, the lines between his brows deepening, but she couldn’t stop now.
She looked up at him – into those stunning blue eyes that had just told her she was loved – and her heart twisted painfully. The joy, the warmth, the dizzy rush of it all was still there, but underneath came the cold edge of dread.
How had the world shifted so fast – from ecstasy to fear – in the space of a heartbeat? Like lightning striking out of a clear sky, it left her breathless, scorched, and trembling in its wake.
Chapter Thirty
Sam
The rain had slowed to a gentle patter, but the tension between Sam and Clara tautened like another storm about to break. Sam stood still, one arm holding Skye, the other resting lightly on Clara’s waist. She shivered despite still having the blanket around her. It really would be better if they went back to the car, but he wanted to hear what she had to say.
He searched her face, willing her to just say what was obviously weighing heavily on her. ‘Clara, you’re scaring me. What is it?’
She opened her mouth, then closed it again, looking away.
‘Is it me?’ he asked. ‘The uncertainty of my life? Because I get it. It bothers me too; that’s why I called Olive. And I’ve spoken to the boys. I want to stay here. It might not be easy, but I don’t want to move again. It may mean long trips to see the boys at weekends, and I know that won’t necessarily be what you want… Or maybe… am I too old for you? I mean, you know I’m forty-six, right? And I guess that’s not—’
‘No.’ Her head snapped back towards him. Her eyes were wide with something that looked a lot like panic. ‘No, Sam, it’s not those things. I’ll help you in any way I can with your boys, and I don’t care about your age. It makes no difference to me. You’re perfect to me.’
He gave her a brief smile. ‘Well, what then?’ His heart was pounding so hard he was sure she could hear it. ‘Is it because of Kerr?’
‘No, I’d forgotten all about him. What I felt for him… well, it’s nothing compared to how I feel for you.’ She took a shaky breath, her fingers absently stroking Skye. ‘It’s just… this is hard to say.’
‘Whatever it is, I’ll listen. I can’t see that anything you have to tell me will be that bad.’
She didn’t smile. Instead, she stepped back slightly, pulling herself out of his hold and wrapping the blanket tighter around herself. ‘You remember once I told you I had women’s troubles… Nothing life threatening, but…’
‘I remember,’ he said.
‘Well, I’ve been diagnosed with premature menopause.’
Sam blinked, remembering the conversation he’d overheard between her and Lissa once where she’d said that. ‘Ok.’
‘I don’t know if you know what that means.’ She let out a soulless laugh, running a hand through her damp hair. ‘But it means I probably can’t have children. Ever. And I know how much that matters to you.’
He shook his head. ‘Clara—’
‘No, listen. I can’t let us go any further without you knowing this. If we have a future – if we’re even thinking about it – you need to know this is part of the deal. It’s unlikely I can give you kids. And I know that’s something you’ve always wanted.’
