I nod. “I’ve never been more okay.”
She pulls me into a quick, fierce hug. “You deserve this.”
So does he, I think.
We make our way down the stairs and out a side door where a golf cart waits to pick us up. The same young man who served me dinner a year ago grins as we all get in, holding up long skirtsand stepping on the toes of our shoes so they don’t sink into the soft grass.
April mutters about my dress getting wrinkled as I sit down. Charlotte calmly takes my flowers so I can adjust the folds of my gown. And then we’re whisked down a side road to the edge of the jungle at the end of the lawn, where we get out.
The music begins.
My heart stutters.
Charlotte gives me my bouquet back and squeezes my hand once before stepping back. April wipes under her eyes, then grins at me like she’s sending me into the best battle of my life. She arranges my gown unnecessarily. It doesn’t have a train, but she wants the skirt to fall just so. Both women are gorgeous in their dresses, which are of different designs but the same color. Charlotte’s is a sleeveless, elegant sheet. April’s is longer and off-the-shoulder, tight bodice and full skirt. My bridesmaids.
Jay appears, holding out his both arms, which April and Charlotte grab. Jay gives me a quick wink, and then the three of them walk down the aisle together.
Nick steps forward. He’s going to walk me down the aisle. When I protested, he insisted, and now I swallow the tears April won’t let me shed. I never had a family. My childhood wasn’t bad. I grew up in various group homes that always provided for me. But the grownups there were caretakers, never family.
Today, my family, Nick, Jay, April, and Charlotte, are all here to celebrate my union with my husband.
“You okay,” Nick asks, a frown between his eyes.
I nod.
“Because you don’t have to go through with this.” He leans closer. “Jay and I can make Julian disappear and nobody will ask questions.”
I laugh, but then lean back to look at him when he doesn’t smile. “You’re serious.”
He shrugs.
Before I can say another word, the music changes and the guests stand up, looking back toward us. It’s a small crowd of friends and San Isidran dignitaries. I don’t know all of them, but they are all smiling. Lucien added people to the list he said needed to be there. In other words, it’s good for Lucien if they’re here. He’s the best man tonight. Julian grudgingly agreed that if it wasn’t for our enigmatic host, we’d never have gotten together.
I take Nick’s arm and we step forward.
The aisle is lined with white petals and greenery. I’m glad for Nick’s arm because I’m not altogether steady as I walk toward the terrace where Julian waits.
He looks unreal in his suit, dark hair neatly styled, shoulders straight, jaw tight like he’s holding himself together through sheer will. When his eyes meet mine, everything else fades.
The way he looks at me, open, reverent, undone, takes my breath away.
We reach him, and Nick gives him a glare before letting go of my hand.
Julian ignores him and instead takes my hands. “You’re real,” he murmurs under his breath.
I smile. “Still am.”
“You look amazing.”
The officiant begins, voice warm, measured, speaking about choice and commitment and love freely given. After that, we exchange vows we wrote ourselves.
Julian goes first. “Iris,” he says, voice steady but eyes shining, “I fell in love with you the moment I met you. And it was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced, because you saw me, past the lies, past the walls, and you stayed curious instead of running.” A soft laugh ripples through the guests, and he glares at them, but then continues. “I promise to never choose fear over you again. To be honest, even when it’s hard. To protect you, butalso to trust you to protect yourself. To love you fiercely, openly, and for the rest of my life.”
My chest aches and I have to blink hard to keep my promise about tears to April. “Julian,” I say, “you taught me that love isn’t safe, but it’s worth it. You challenged me to be brave, to demand truth, to believe I could have both passion and partnership.” I swallow. “I promise to choose you every day. To argue with you when you’re being stubborn.” The guests laugh again, a few of them sniffle. I give them a quick smile and then take a breath so I can finish my vow. “To remind you that you’re human. And to love you, always.”
We exchange rings, and then Julian kisses me. His lips are warm and firm as he dips me, and it goes on so long that we get a few whistles from the crowd.
Finally, Nick taps him on the shoulder. “Save it for the wedding night,” he says.
