“Oh, I’m sorry, baby! Too much sugar?”
“No—It’s fine.” I coughed a little, trying not to laugh while I held the cup on my lap. “Phew!” I cleared my throat. “It’s just…” My fingers played with the condensation as it rolled down the cold glass. I stared out along the ranch, listening to the soundsof the birds overhead and nearby cattle in the barn. “It’s all just so different from what I remembered.” My mother took the glass from my grasp, setting it on the tiny table between us before gently grabbing my hand.
She eyed my thigh before her eyes returned to mine. “Lucille, baby…I know. The doctors always said there may be some gaps?—”
“No, no, it’s not that. I mean, I still don’t remember much from that night, but…” I paused. “I may not rememberhowI got my scar, but I do remember the fire. I remember being stuck in this weightless fog but still feeling it eat away at my leg.” I squeezed my tender thigh, feeling the rough scar beneath the thin fabric. “I can remember everything up to that point—Dad’s voice…seeing him in the barn—but then, it’s all blank after that.” I stopped, fighting back tears. “Will I ever remember more?”
My mother kissed the top of my head and held me close. “One day, baby. One day.” Her loving embrace soothed my soul and stifled my tears. “And even if you don’t, maybe that’s for the better.” Her fingers stroked my hair. "Sometimes truths aren’t meant to be known.” I nodded and wiped my eyes. “How’s your leg feeling today? Hmm?”
“It’s okay, just bruised. I mean, I did get kicked by a bull.” I laughed faintly at the fact.
My mother laughed alongside me, smiling as her hair waved around her face. “You did. Ohhh, you did.” She kissed the top of my head before sitting down in the rocking chair next to me. “You darn kids and that bull. I swear! Shoot, maybe it’s a good thing we sold him!” I nearly snorted at her statement.
“Speaking of…how’s Boone today?”
My mother shrugged. “Ah, same old, same old. He’s still moping over that darn girl who dumped him. Which thank God she did ‘cause…don’t tell your brother…but I did not like her one bit! She was always so nasty to you, and truthfully, I thinkshe only clung onto Boone ‘cause of how well he was doing. But you didn’t hear that from me!” Her hand waved around as she pretended to zip her lips in a playful manner.
We all dodged a bullet with Priscilla.
“Oh, but he’s a little more down than usual today. He won’t say it, but I think it’s ‘cause we had another one of those consultations yesterday. He was so sucked into what those doctors had to say, but I just couldn’t focus.” She shook her head and drank her own tea. “These doctors, they go on and on about statistics and possibilities…and Boone knows nothing is guaranteed, but he’s just tired. I try to keep a smile for him, nodding along while those specialists explain things, but…Lucille, baby, it’s hard.” She stopped rocking. “I want to be positive and hopeful, but someone has to be realistic.”
“A bit negative, don’t you think?” I raised my brows and took another sip of the tea.
My mother rolled her eyes. “Negative? Oh, Lucille.” She scoffed. “Do I hope to see my baby boy stand on his own two feet again one day? Hell yes, I do! But as a mother, my priority is to protect my children. And that doesn’t just mean physical, I have to protect their mental state.” I flinched faintly at her words. “I have to keep myself grounded and levelheaded. Because life isn’t always easy and things do go wrong, but when they do, I want you two to know that I am always here for you.” She played with the glass in her hand. “Let Boone be the one to dream and hope. He needs it. But if things don’t go the way he wants, I’m going to be right by his side to help him shoulder that pain…same as I did for you.” I reached across and grabbed her hand gently before squeezing it.
“I know, Mom. I know.”
A bird flew past the porch and my mother sighed. “But if I’m being honest, I would love to see my little boy walk again.” She turned and looked at me with tearfilled eyes. “Selfish, isn’t it?” Ishook my head. Her voice cracked a little as she spoke. “Oh, but a mother can only dream so much. I gotta keep those fantasies tucked away and stay strong, for your brother. I’ve got to keep my cool. I can’t go losing my hope and bawling my eyes out like a damn baby over lost chances, not whenheneeds me to be strong.” She wiped her eyes. “Oh fiddlesticks, now I’ve gone and messed up my mascara. Shoot!” She laughed softly, smearing the makeup under her eyes. “I’ll be right back, baby.” My mother hopped up and walked inside to fix her makeup, and the screen door shut behind her.
She’s still the same. Always trying to help shoulder our pain no matter how heavy it is.
I drank a little more of the sweet tea when I heard Wimberly bark in the distance. It was hard not to miss the old pup flopping around like a white furball, playing with Forsythe just at the top of the hill. He was wearing his usual hat and jeans, but instead of his preferred dark shirt and leather jacket, he was in a regular t-shirt. Just a plain, white shirt…atightwhite shirt.
He looks so fit in that shirt. Nothing like an old man.
I sipped my sweet tea some more, unable to look away.
The two were running around, like a boy and his dog playing in the yard. It seemed so natural and carefree. Forsythe was smiling and laughing, letting a side of him slip out no one had really seen, and I caught myself watching…thinking…and wondering.
Has he always been this way? I don’t remember him being so playful when we were younger. He was always so serious, never really acting like a kid. I wonder if that would’ve been different if Mom and Dad had adopted him.
Wimberly jumped and knocked the grown man down onto the dirt, knocking his hat off his head as she dirtied up his white shirt with her paws. The affection between them was heartwarming and made me think of how Boone and I used toplay with the pup when we were younger, running all over, being such carefree little kids.
Would Forsythe have played with us too if he had the chance?
The screen door opened and shut as my mother returned to her rocking chair. “Aww, look at those two!” She pointed to them. “Gosh. He’s always treated her so well.”
“Hey, Mom?” She turned to look at me with a smile. “How come you guys never adopted Forsythe too?”
She blinked and hesitated, sighing heavily. “Well, it’s not like we didn’t want to. There was a time when your daddy and I tried, but…well…he wouldn’t let us.”
“Dad?”
My mother shook her head and laughed. “Oh, heavens, no! If your daddy had his way, Forsythe would’ve been raised right alongside the two of you!” She turned to look back at Forsythe. “Oh, you’re daddy always loved that boy. Same as you and Boone.” She continued to watch Forsythe, and I noticed her smile return. “No, Forsythe wouldn’t let us. No matter how many times your daddy asked, he always turned him down.”
“Why?” I found myself way more curious than I expected. “Why would he tell Dad no?”
My mother shrugged and played with her beaded necklace. “I asked him one night, when you were a teen. He was a tough cookie to crack, which makes sense given his past, but I finally got him to open up.”
