I whipped a large pocket knife from my jeans and cut the fabric above her knee, ripping it higher until it revealed her thigh. The sight made me hold my breath. It was already beginning to bruise, swelling a bit from the impact of Reaper’s kick. But that wasn’t what made me stop…no. It was the large scar that stretched all along her thigh.
Lucille looked away from her leg, as if ashamed by it. Her body trembled ever so slightly as my fingertips grazed her raised flesh. I could hear her wince and sniffle faintly. “Ugly, isn’t it?” I looked up to see a single tear roll down her flushed, freckled cheeks.
“Do you think all scars are ugly?” My fingers curled around her thigh, rotating it gently to check for any cuts or other injuries.
She wiped her face and sniffled some more. “No. But this one is. That’s why I always try to keep it hidden.”
My fingers slid along her thigh, tracing the budding bruise from Reaper’s kick. “I got a few of those myself. Scars I try to keep tucked away from the world, pretending they don’t exist out of shame and regret.” I tapped her scar softly. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of this.”
“Pfft. You don’t know what it’s from, or you wouldn’t be saying that.”
I rested her leg along the barrel, forcing myself to let go of her skin. “What’s it from?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
Lucille looked down at her leg with a heavy expression, one filled with so many emotions. “I don’t remember how I got it exactly, but I know it happened that night. The night of the fire, when my dad…” Her words faded away into nothing. “It’s a painful reminder of that day…a reminder that I will always carry that guilt.” Her hands shook by her side. “I feel it every day… every fucking day! The pain keeps me captive, holding me prisoner to my past. No matter how much I try to forget, it forcesme to face the truth…that it’s my fault. It’s all my fault!” Her body slouched forward, and her face fell into her hands as she finally let go and started crying.
The barn door squeaked open as Cooper stuck his head through and motioned to me. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Lucille didn’t acknowledge me as I walked over to the old man.
“Everything okay?” He eyed Lucille closely as her sobs filled the barn. I shook my head and he sighed. “It’s gotta be a lot, being back here after so long.”
I removed my hat and ran my fingers through my hair. “It’s not that…it’s her leg.” Cooper’s face hardened. “Reaper got her pretty good, but the scar—” I stopped myself. “I never knew how much trouble it caused her. Only that she was lucky it wasn’t worse.”
The old man nodded. “You’re lucky too, you know.” I made a face. “Lucille’s tougher than she looks, but she’s not invincible, even though she tries to be. She’s more like her daddy than even I realized.” He sighed. “I tried to call the house, but Ms. Nellie isn’t home. Dallas got a hold of her, and she’s in the middle of a consultation with Boone’s doctors, so she won’t be back ‘til later tonight. Think she’ll need a doctor?” I shook my head. “Well, we need to at least get Lucille up to the house to rest until her momma gets back.” He stared at my shoulder. “Think you can handle it?”
I returned my hat to my head. “I can handle it. Whatever she needs.”
He nodded. “We’ll take care of Reaper. You get her home.” I nodded him off as he shut the barn door. I looked back at Lucille, still crying softly to herself atop the barrel. For the first time since setting eyes on her, she looked defeated. Beaten down and frail, completely giving up her will to fight, just waiting for the wind to carry her away into the sky. It was heartbreaking to see, knowing the burden she carried on her back was alwaysweighing her down. Knowing how much she blamed herself for something out of her control.
As I approached her, her gaze raised to meet mine. “I should go.” She tried to wriggle down the barrel, stumbling as her feet hit the floor, nearly falling over.
“Quit being so stubborn.” I caught her body and lifted her high, holding her in my arms.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t want your help. I can walk just fine.”
A smirk grew along my face. “Oh yeah? You gonna limp your ass all the way to the house with your torn pants?” She got quiet.
“You’re the one who tore them.” I chuckled softly. “What about Wimberly? I can’t just leave her out here.”
“I’ll take care of her once I finish taking care of you.” She tucked her head as I neared the door, hiding her face. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
She nodded faintly. “I don’t want them to see me like this.”
“And how is that?” I teased.
Lucille responded with a light whisper. “Weak.”
You are anything but weak, little Lucille.
I stopped just outside the barn door. “Take my hat.”
“What?”
I looked down at her, seeing tears in her hazel eyes. “Take my hat. You can hide in it and use it to block the sun.” She slowly reached up with wide eyes, hesitating before taking the hat from my head. Her fingers played with the brim, feeling the rough material against her skin before finally placing it on her head. I had to force my eyes away, feeling a thump in my chest at the sight of her wearing my hat. “Here we go.” I kicked the barn door open and carried her outside.
Dallas and Torchy were still in the corral, keeping an eye on Reaper. Cooper was waiting outside the barn. He silently tipped his hat to me as I walked by, to which I returned the gesture.No one said a word, but everyone stared. Lucille shrunk into me, wearing my hat low on her head like a shield.
Don’t worry, I got you.
She didn’t speak for the longest time, listening to my low, ragged breaths as I marched from the barn towards the house. Minutes passed by, feeling like hours. I struggled to focus, smelling only her perfume despite the breeze that curled around us.
