Much more.
I walked down the path and pulled a cigarette from the pack I kept inside my leather jacket, lighting it as I made my way to the barn. I silently replayed everything that happened the night before, outside the bar, as I smoked. “I wonder if we’ll be fighting today.” The corner of my lip curled into a smile. “Can’t wait to find out.”
I walked for a bit, enjoying the quiet morning. It was part of my daily routine here at Bone Ridge, one I had been repeating since I was a kid lugging cattle back and forth for Memphis. Not much has changed since then, even after I took off, I still came back to the same old routine.
The sound of hooves caught my attention as I approached the barn. “What the—” I placed the cigarette between my lips and peeked around the corner to find Lucille trotting up on herchildhood horse. “Shit—” I tried to put the cigarette out, tossing it down as I pressed the tip of my old, worn-out boot against it.
Lucille yanked the reins as her horse snorted, stopping only a few feet away. “Those things will kill you, ya know,” she teased.
I coughed, trying to force the smoke in my mouth back into my throat and away from her. “Sorry about that—I was just—” I coughed a bit more.
“Jeez. Calm down, old man. Don’t die on me now.” She wiped her brow as I noticed beads of sweat rolling down the side of her face, telling me she must’ve been riding for some time. I grabbed the cheekpiece of her horse as she effortlessly hopped down from the saddle. Even after riding, her smell still hit my nostrils, gripping my senses as she waved her hair around and stroked the horse's mane. “So it wasyouI saw smoking that night I drove in.” She eyed me closely and grinned.
I cleared my throat. “I’m surprised you didn’t bite my head off.” I rubbed the back of my neck.
Lucille spun around with a surprised look on her face. Her freckled cheeks were flushed, making her eyes pop against their color. “Why would I care if you smoke? I smoke too, though I do it more so when I’m anxious or need to take the edge off. Unfortunately, it’s one of the habits I couldn’t kick after all these years.” I noticed she was still wearing the same outfit as last night, only this time, she had some real boots on. Not those clunky platforms she was wearing before. “But I don’t care if you smoke. Now my mom might. She’s always hated it. Even back then.” She spoke so calmly about the whole topic, as if it really didn’t bother her.
I guess I was worried for nothing.
Lucille grabbed the reins and walked her horse towards the barn doors. “I’m not a delicate flower, Forsythe. You don’t have to be so careful with me. I can handle more than you think.” She looked back at me over her shoulder. “Although, last night wasmore of a fluke. So it doesn’t count. But I’m okay. Smoke all you want, I don’t care.”
“But what about—” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
Her eyes fell. “Cigarettes didn’t start that fire…I did. And I can’t hide from myself.” She stood there for a few seconds, keeping quiet as her horse waited patiently. “Hey, Forsythe?”
“Yeah?”
Lucille’s eyes lifted. “Don’t tell anyone I was out here. They’ll all worry or try to make a big deal of it. And I don’t think I can handle that kind of mental load right now.”
I lifted my hat slightly and leaned against the side of the barn. “Not sure what you mean, I’m just chilling out here all by my lonesome, same as always.”
She laughed softly. “Thanks.”
That’s the second time she’s said that to me.
Lucille turned back towards the doors and took a step. I noticed a faint limp in her right leg and tried to keep myself from helping her. But it was no use.
“You okay?” My back ached in response to seeing her in pain, knowing where it was coming from.
She stopped, looking down at her thigh. “Yeah…just tired.”
Liar.
“Who’s old now?” I teased her lightly, trying to lift the mood. She seemed tired, mentally and physically. “Here, let me put her up.” I walked towards her and grabbed the reins from her hand. “You go on back to the house and get some rest.” She hesitated before letting go and looking up at me.
Lucille and I caught one another’s gaze and stood there, silently staring back at each other. It was an old feeling, one I had tried to push away all this time, but it was beginning to return little by little. And it scared the living shit out of me.
“Hey, Forsythe.”
My heart fluttered a bit at the way she said my name with a whispered breath. “Yes?”
She leaned in close and poked my bearded chin with her pointer finger. “Have you always had this much white in your beard? Makes you look older than you are.”
My demeanor deflated. “And how old do you think I am?” My brow flicked with the question.
She looked at me and made a funny face. “Hmm. Forty-eight?”
I grinned. “Close, but no. Forty-five.”
