That only made it worse.
“I didn’t say that,” he ground out at last.
“Then say what youdowant,” I whispered, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his shirt. My heart was a thunderclap behind my ribs. I could smell myself—my heat, my need—and beneath it, the way he was trying to cage every shred of his own instinct.
The restraint in him was maddening. Dignified. Terrible.
Because I could feel it—under his skin. The want. The war.
He laid me back down in the bed with excruciating care, like I might break apart if he moved too fast. I wanted to scream. I wanted to pull him down with me. I wanted?—
“I want you whole,” he said, voice low and gutted as he leaned over me. “Not like this. Not because your body’s on fire and you’re desperate for relief. Not because you can’t help it.”
“But I can,” I breathed. “Ido. I’m still me, Roan. I know what I want. Even now.”
His eyes flared, heat igniting behind steel. For a second, I thought I’d broken through. For a second, I thought?—
But then he reached down and tugged the robe back together with a care that was somehow more intimate than anything elsehe could’ve done. His fingers brushed the hollow of my throat before they moved away entirely.
“You’re not asking me to choose you,” he said, voice rough with restraint. “You’re asking me to take advantage.”
“No,” I said, voice cracking. “I’m not?—”
“You don’t understand how hard this is.” His hands clenched into fists again. “How much Iwantyou. But if I cross that line now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop. Not when you need my control.”
Tears stung behind my eyes, hot and frustrated. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”
He shook his head and stood up straight, stepping away from the bed like distance might help him breathe again. It didn’t. He still looked like he was barely holding it together.
“I want more than this,” he said.
I blinked. “More?”
Roan stared at me like the words were being carved out of his chest. “I wantyou, Wren. Not your heat. Not the chemical wildfire you’re riding out.You. The woman who slices through my plans with one line of logic. The one who watches over all of us like we’re her mission. The one who never needed me—but still always had my back.”
Every word landed like a blow. Like a balm. Like both.
“Then why does this feel like punishment?” I asked, curling in on myself as much as the ache would allow. “Why does doing the right thinghurt?”
Roan turned away before I could read his expression again, voice barely audible as he said, “Because I want you too damn much.”
And then he was gone.
He pulled the bedroom door shut behind him like it weighed a thousand pounds.
I was alone again. Only this time, it wasn’t the fever that was burning me alive. It was the truth.
Chapter
Twenty
RHETT
The door closed with a quietclick, but it echoed like a gunshot in the back of my skull.
Roan stood just on this side of it, fists clenched, chest rising like he’d just run a damn marathon. His ironclad control seemed a hair’s breadth from cracking.
And I wasn’t much better.
